I need a drink

emily meehan's latest installment of "Act One" in the wall street j


somehow, my point about having a budget came across more as me having a drinking problem.

misc. wednesday

-Went to Belle and Sebastian last night. I had great company, it was a great show and they are one of my favorite bands, but I must say that, save those of independent hip-hop or music festivals (OK, OK, or Indigo Girls), I'm a tad over concerts in general. They are fun and it has nothing to do with the music, but sometimes it's weird to just stand there and watch the people perform. I like going to concerts and hanging out, but it gets odd when you can't really do that because the venue or crowd mood and you're just kind of standing there watching from a distance a band that is playing pretty much the exact stuff on their albums. With the hip-hop, the bluegrass, the music festivals, (and the Indigo Girls), there is usually improvisation and crowd engagement/dancing. But especially the indie rock I've noticed, it's a hilarious bunch of indie hipsters standing like statues facing forward, kind of swaying. Cracks me up.

-Song Du Jour: No More Drama by Mary J
"It feels so good/when you let go of all the drama in your life/Now you're free from all the pain, free from all the games/free from all the stress/to find your happiness."

-Started coaching lacrosse at Mercy HS. It’s so interesting to see how new the sport is out here on the west coast, but how enthusiastic kids are to learn it despite the fact that it was never one of those sports they grew up with, like soccer or softball. The girls are so excited to learn even though they've lost their first few games and keep getting called for rules they don't know yet. I'm looking forward to their progress.

-Also finishing up training this week for ProjectRead, the adult literacy program at the SF library. I really can't believe how many adults out there can't read or write, and, even more interesting, how they got to that point. Some just fell through the cracks and made it through the school system--diploma and all--but can't read above second grade. Others never got to go to school past third or fourth grade because of family problems or moving. Whatever the reason, they've decided to get help, which is where PR comes in. We work with the learners as their learning partner to get them to where they want to be. That could be as simple as wanting to know enough just to fill out a job application, or as long of a journey as getting to college.
Just in the training, which has been a few weeks, 6 hours a week, we've learned so much ourselves. From how and why the learners are where they are, to how we fit in to getting them to achieve their goals, to seeing how complex reading and writing actually is when taken in the context of someone who can't. I've learned that there are a million things I take for granted everytime I read something as simple as a menu or write an email. Good stuff.

-Congratulations to Brad who got into a lot of his top choice of grad schools, including Yale and the Fletcher School at Tufts.

-I was talking to my friend Molly from home yesterday and she's been back there for about a month just chillin' as a Carlisle townie for a bit. She was telling me all about her townie life and how she hangs out with some guys from our high school class--they were never 'best friends' or 'not friends'--just friends. She said her and one of them "go on bike rides." I was laughing out loud because only in Carlisle would two people who happen to be there at the same time start hanging out regularly and go on bike rides through the country.
I can't say I don't miss it:)

-When two people created between them, over the years and perhaps unknowingly, a crappy, unhealthy and untrusting relationship, it is really hard for them each to get to the point where each of them is comfortable and wants to establish a friendship. There is no fault; it just happened that way. To some, it might be 'sad' that it is that way, but that is not the way I see it. I see it as a huge learning experience that couldn't really have happened either way. In exchange for the heaps of personal lessons gained, a friendship may have been sacrificed. A friendship is carefree, loving and fun. I feel none of these things. At least not yet.

-Today's Compare and Contrast: Apples and Oranges
Apples are either red, green, yellow or a combination of the three. Oranges are orange or red, and can also be a combination of both. Apples can be sweet, tart, or both at the same time. Oranges can claim the same flavor spectrum. Apples and Oranges are both juicy and have seeds and stems, but Apples have cores, which Oranges don't. I've never come across a mealy Orange though. Both have peels, but it is easier to remove an Orange peel than that of an Apple.
Underpaid Central-American migrant workers usually pick both, sometimes within the same year.

um, yeah...not so much.

That was one of the worst basketball games I've ever seen in my life.



And I only got to see the last five minutes.


I'm sorta torn between my loyalty to Syracuse and completely dissing them for one of the --if not THE-- most pitiful and lame performances in their entire history.



Moving on, though...

Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

my bracket

Atlanta:
First Round:
Duke
George Wash.
CUSE
LSU
West Virginia
Iowa
Cal
Texas
Oakland:
Memphis
Bucknell
Pitt
Kansas
SDSU
Gonzaga
Marquette
UCLA
D.C.:
UConn
UAB
Utah
Illinois
Mich. State
UNC
Seton Hall
Minneapolis:
Tenn.
Nova
Wisconsin
Nevada
BC
Wisc-Mil
Florida
Georgetown
Ohio

Sweet Sixteen:
Duke
CUSE
Iowa
Texas
Memphis
Kansas
Gonzaga
UCLA
UConn
Illinois
UNC
Tenn.
Nova
BC
Florida
Georgetown

Elite Eight:
CUSE
Texas
Kansas
UCLA
UConn
UNC
Nova
Florida

Final Four:
CUSE
Kansas
UConn
Nova

Final Game:
CUSE
UConn

Syracuse wins 86-84

your input

So over the next month or so I'm gonna vamp up my blog and hopefully start a podcast. Of course, this is contingent upon a lot of things, but still. It's a big fat goal I have.

Whatchoo people want? Please let me know what you think would be cool. Any suggestions welcome.

Thanksers!

just kidding, south dakotes

Yesterday I compared you to Puritan New England, based on your recent banning of abortion. I didn't mean this as a complete insult (there were some good/fun things about Puritant NE), and I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate what you're doing out there on the prairie.

You see, our system is designed for this kind of thing. So just as I have the right (well, at least for now) to go get my uterus gutted, you have the right to try not to let me. We battle it out--exchange words and perhaps slap one another with gloves or silly-sloganed picket signs--and then we hire our best minds to take it into the courtroom for final review.
And so far, you're up.

And you know what? You just might win. We did in the 70's and...I understand the ebb and flow of victory. I mean, just three years ago the Orangemen were on their way to winning the national championship and...well, let's not talk about that right now.

The point is, you have every right to try to ban abortion. Good for you, if that's what you believe in. And if you win I guess I'd come over and shake your hand.
Of course I'd then wash mine of any responsibility for turning back the clock of modernity. But still, "Good job," I'd say. "You deserve it."

Because you'll deserve the back-alley abortions, the unwanted children, and the financial backlash and strain on your one-zip-coded system that comes along with such an antiquated law.

misc. wednesday

-I think that if a relationship starts out complicated, it will exist as such.
On a related note...if it starts out easy, it will exist as just that.
And it is.

-My new favorite Mozart song is Symphony No. 40 in G Minor: Andate

-A good passage:
"Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate."
-Bernard Mickey Wrangle, aka, The Woodpecker

-The rest of that quote to follow at the appropriate time.

-The more I do sudoku, the more I can't stop doing sudoku. It's a vicious cycle, much like sudoku itself.

-Is it just me, or does the L Word completely suck this season? And the Oscar DOES NOT go to the chick that plays Moira. Are you f-ing kidding me?? Any Moira scene last week was like a horrible afterschool special.
That being said, I always look forward to the next episode with mucho delightio. My prediction is that Tina will end up with sex-changed Moira/Max because T-Bone's fiending for the magic stick. [Credit for this prediction given to my L-Word watchin' crew as a whole]

-I think I have a two-year plan. I've never had a two-year plan.
It's exciting. Inquire within.

-Ali Lee's in town...woohoo!

-Not sure if you caught Marketplace yesterday, but about 23:30 into the program they played a 10-second snippet of a song by the South African band 'Freshly Ground' related to a story on the SA clothing company Loxion Kulcha. Mmmhmm...song suggestion courtesy of yours truly and Kar-Bear Weidert!

-Today's Compare and Contrast: South Dakota and 17th-Century New England
Same.

darcy o'brien

When someone so young passes her time on Earth, I think it hits every single person right smack in the heart with the fact.
That life is precious.


Even though Darcy was not my immediate friend, Colleen and her family were integral to my life since I first plopped down in Carlisle. Their steadfast and down-home hospitality, friendship, and support were unprecedented blessings after having grown up constantly on the move, and I've never lost my gratitude for how they have enriched my life.

And so I grieve hard, but simply, for the loss of Darcy.

Simply.
I simply cannot imagine how it must feel to lose your daughter.
I simply cannot imagine what is like to have your only sibling taken away from you.
And I simply cannot fathom losing your best friend, just as your adult lives were taking off and you were going in different directions with different ambitions.
Knowing that you would always have your best friends by your side--step by step--until the day was done.

And suddenly that day comes for one of you.


To Colleen, Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien, and the rest of the O'Brien family and Darcy's friends--many of whom are also my own best friends' younger sisters--
I am so, so sorry for your loss and I offer my deepest sympathy and love for you during this time.
You are in my thoughts and heart.



"And so we know we're all right;
life will come and life will go.
Still we feel it's all right
cause someone gets a letter to your soul.
When your whole life is on the tip of your tongue,
empty pages for the no longer young,
the apathy of time laughs in our face...

Each life has its place."

-IG, 'virginia woolf'

misc. wednesday

-I have developed a strange affinity for english breakfast tea with sugar and cream, thanks in part to my co-worker Margarete. A regular coffee drinker, I sometimes tried my hand at teas, but usually ended up feeling like a poser.
Either that, or I would just secretly want it to be coffee the whole time.
But with the english breakfast, I feel naturally satisfied. Not like a pretentious herbal tea drinker that I sometimes "want" to be after listening to Jewel (I do not listen to Jewel! I just mean, that feeling of thinking about Jewel and how it made you want to be all cute and sensitive) or when I see the Yoga Journal in the check-out line at Whole Foods. No, english breakfast tea skips all that secret confidence/inconfidence and just...does it for me. Of course, I get an afternoon coffee anyway.
But for the morning hours, I'm refined, classy, and British.

-Anne Taintor is brilliant.

-Also brilliant:


-Go see Emily Morrison in her new play--showing for the next two weeks!

-I am addicted to Sam Cooke's greatest hits album.

-5 fun things about last weekend:
1) out-of-town visitors
2) grey's anatomy/L-word party
3) "westwood!"
4) The Maids play, starring Linnea Wilson
5) laughing for 4 days straight

-This point does not have a point.

-Today's Compare and Contrast: burritos from different places
I was recently discussing with my good friend Molly H., how if she came to visit me in SF, that she would never be able to once again eat at Taco Bell. Of course, knowing Molly H., I should have expected that she would quickly stop me dead in my pretentious-SF tracks, which she did. Tracks, I must point out, that I didn't even know I was in and still don't think are part of my overall being...but that's not the point. The point is I live in SF and I thought, for a split second, that something I know as true and good about SF is better than something outside of SF, which has historically given SF a pretentious reputation it finds hard to shake, and which also pisses off my grandmother.
She says: "T-Bell cannot be compared to other Mexican places. There are different levels of Mexican food, and one cannot compare, say, a T-Bell with a Chipotle, just as one cannot compare a Chipotle with a decent sit-down Mexican restaurant." She continues to say that to do so would be to compare "apples and oranges."
At first this seems like an admirable point--simply admitting that they are all in different leagues and thus why create a headache for yourself?
And I agree that each one 'is what it is,' and to go into a T-Bell with Papalote-like expectations would be merely foolish, if not depressing.
But one must wonder--nay, SHOULD wonder--aren't they all shooting for the same Tex-Mex moon? And if so, is it really that ridiculous to suggest that a bean burrito from one sucks, when compared to one from another?
I guess the trick is not to compare at all.
And I guess I can do that if I throw all my principles out the window, toss my beliefs aside, and settle for mediocrity.

Or just get really drunk.

misc. wednesday!

-Congratulations to Ms. Leigh Carter, who today got a job. All I have to say is it's about freaking time someone hired your smart and talented ass!

-I really should work on eating more slowly. I just killed that whole thing in like 5 minutes.

-5 favorite local foods and who introduced me to them:
1) super bean & cheese burrito from Papalote (me)
2) an It's It ice cream thingy from the corner store (leah)
3) chicken wings from Capital in Chinatown (karen)
4) falafel deluxe from Truly Med (nicole)
5) the cheap beer that keeps showing up in our fridge (?)

-At the current time, I'm not affiliated with AudioLuxe. The details aren't important, but I just wanted to "announce" that, so when you hear about me volunteering/taking up new activities/etc. you don't think I'm completely crazy for doing a "billion things."

-On that note, I'm really excited about starting a second life as a volunteer. More to come, I'm sure.

-Kelli Johnson was a damn good friend; she is still missed greatly.

-I'm really enjoying this nice weather (70s & sunny), but it's weird not having to have earned it by enduring months of gray winter. Don't fuck with me, California.

-Places I want to go in the next five years:
1) Oktoberfest (beer + Germany = ja voll)
2) Hawai'i (it's so close!)
3) Anywhere in Latin America already...jeez!
4) Yosemite NP
5) grad school

-"3 Feet High and Rising" is still one of the best albums ever made.

Today's Compare and Contrast:
-I think I prefer four-tined to three-tined, forks.
Why? Well, when it comes to tines, it's all in the food-stabbing ability. Obviously the fourth tine allows for a broader bite than one with just three. That's obvious.
In addition, I find my eating is more assertive when I eat with a four-tined fork. With three, it's like, the food could just jump off the plate and eat me! That's not a way to enjoy one's dinner.
Oh yeah, and a four-tined fork makes a more muted "dook" sound if it actually finds its way to the plate without having caught any food. Which sometimes happens. Sometimes I miss the food on the plate. The last thing I need is a fork that's always pointing it out.
To three-tined fork's credit, though, at least it's better than a spork.
OK, well, a three-pronged spork.

-Mr. Cheney:
Love hurts and all, but at least Ennis didn't shoot him.

valentine's day

misc. wednesday will return tomorrow, but in the meantime I just wanted to say that I just had the best Valentine's Day in my entire life...and it's only 11:30 am.

a good proverb

"with money you can buy a house, but not a home.
you can buy a clock, but not time
a bed, but not sleep
a book, but not knowledge.
with money you can buy a doctor, but not good health
you can buy a position, but not respect
sex, but not love.
And you can buy entertainment, but not happiness."

misc. wednesday

-I just met author Amy Tan and brought her to Studio A. On the way up from the lobby, she told me all about her new orthopaedic shoes, which looked like lunch-lady shoes with one big spring as the heel.

-After giving it a lot of thought, I would have Kraft Spirals 'N' Cheese and a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice as my last meal.

-The world is celebrating Mozart's 250th birthday this week, and suddenly he's all popular and crap. All I can say is...who had THEIR favorite part of Sonata for Piano No. 11 in A Major-Rondo Alla Turca: Allegretto this time one year ago?

-Yeah, that's right.


-

-I think "the Epic of Gilgamesh" is more important to read now than it ever was. I mean, it's the first written story in human history and is from the Middle East.

-I have a new girl in my life. Her name's Leah and all I can really say is that she is completely awesome.

-Although they smell quite similar, I think I prefer Bath & Body Works' Coconut Verbena Lime body lotion over their Rich Citrus Cream. Why? Well, for starters, the word "verbena" is fun to say...even in one's head. I mean, mostly just in one's (ok, 'my') head because it's not like I talk a lot about these kinds of things out loud.
Secondly, the coconut offers a beach-ful and buttery quality unmatched by simply adding a "cream" chemical to the 'rich citrus' make-up of Rich Citrus Cream.
Additionally, I find the focus just on lime to be theoretically more classy than simply bunching all of the citrus fruits together, as if they aren't individuals. Essentially, if you treat them all the same, that's how they'll end up.
In conclusion...whereas Coconut Verbena Lime is a more-focused and deliberately-scented product, I find Rich Citrus Cream to be simply a haphazard and lazy afterthought of a body lotion.
Good thing they were two-for-one.

public radio and me

OK so as far back as I can remember...or atleast since my family returned to the states in '93...family car trips meant two things: my brother and I fighting over the arm rest, and public radio.



Ten years later, I've gotten over the arm rest thing, for the most part. Despite its convenient placement for a road-weary head (when pulled out slightly upright) or just a practical wall between you and the Scum of the Earth As You Know It (one's younger brother), I can actually say with confidence that I'm at peace with arm rests.
But if you know me, I'm far far away from being, in any sort of way, over public radio.
As of today, this 23rd day of January 2006 A.D., my career in public radio officially begins at KQED, Inc.

I can't really describe--especially on this silly blog--how good this feels. To be dramatic, I feel like I've been working my entire life for this to happen. Let me explain...

It all started, as I said, on family car trips. My parents would constantly scan the air waves for the local NPR station--easy to find on the lower half of the dial and marked by boring classical music and interrupted by the even-more-boring news.
I would literally stare out the window, envious of roadkill, and complain that "we already heard this."

I don't really know when it was that I realized I had it better than the roadkill and that this "NPR" stuff was actually interesting, but I did.
Throughout high school, I found an outlet for my explanatory tendencies (at one point, I had a very bad 'explaining habit') and love for putting stories together, at Herd TV--Carlisle HS's weekly student-run, school district news program. While most of my classmates were in Herd TV for the freedom (we were able to leave school to 'go out on assignment'--which usually meant going to Sheetz for a Schmuffinz or Rita's for a Mist-O shake), I was there for the thrill of the deadline!
The late-breaking news about Lamberton's MS's latest art project!
The intriguing way in which Cumberland County ran its waste-water treatment plant!
And Mooreland Elementary School's steel-drum concert!
Whoa!

In college I was a news slut, majoring in BJ. While we learned the 'commercial' way of doing news, I was the dork asking my professors if I could please do a 5-minute piece on gay adoption.
Please?
OK.
And while most of my classmates thought of Radio News Reporting (RTN345) as an annoying step toward our year of TV, I briefly mourned the passing from audio to video.
I say briefly because, quite frankly, who doesn't want to be on camera every week? But I knew in my heart that was all just fun and games and that the real stuff of life can be collected by microphone only.

This isn't to say I hold any disdain for TV peeps, nor my commercial news-minded counterparts; in the end, it's all part of the same waxey ball.
I guess it's just that I prefer ear wax.


So now, more than two years later, it's finally happened and it feels pretty cool.




This one might take a little longer than the arm rest thing.

misc. wednesday

This misc. wednesday's theme is "why I haven't been blogging."
by Emilie Cole

-the holidays. Or is that hollydaze? I can't remember, really.

-As of now, I'm still technically a 'temporary' staff member here at KQED. They are beginning the interview process soon, so I should have some closure as to my immediate employment future in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I'm in this weird state of suspension and do not feel appropriate letting my creative juices flow. I'm not sure why this is--I guess I just need stability to be witty, funny and stuff.

-I'm over my own thoughts before I get to blog about them.

happy holidays, California style:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, best wishes for an environmentally- conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling and medically -uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.



Or, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tookie

As of 26 minutes ago, Gov. Schwarzenneger denied clemency for Stanley "Tookie" Williams, which means he will be put to death by lethal injection tomorrow morning at 12:01.
One of our reporters is a media witness.

This case has been very controversial, especially here b/c San Quentin Prison is only an hour away, due to the fact that although he murdered 4 people in the '70s and started the Crips, in his 24-year incarceration he has written numerous children's book denouncing gang life and violence and has even been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. So many people, including Tookie, say that he has proven rehabilitation and should not be executed.

Here's what I think...
What say you?

Dave Eggers and me

Yep.
That's right.
I just met Dave Eggers.
Met him in the lobby.
Took him to Studio D to record a piece.
Yep.

DC, or, The District of Contradiction

Recently Ren said she has this thing about moving to DC in her lifetime and when I went to comment about the city on the post it made me think to write my own post on DC.
Like, duh.

Living near DC all through high school it seemed like just another big city but a big city that had "all of this important stuff there, too." I didn't know what to expect when I moved there. Well, that's a lie. I thought I was going to get a job at NPR, finally securing a paying job in public radio.
But I didn't know what to expect out of the city itself.

Going in, I had two conflicting opinions...each from friends who are very hip in an unhip way, very aware of music and pop culture, and whose views on 'what to do' I would generally trust. One was convinced DC was lame and that it 'hasn't been cool since the '80s.' The other told me it was one of her favorite places ever.**

Needless to say, DC ended up kicking some major ass and I would totally move back later in life once I get California out of my system.
And it wasn't just because they get good shows, have fun bars, have cool people, blah blah blah; those are things I could find in any city, or even a small, one-horse town, which I have done many times before. (sans the horse).

Nope, you. DC, in my opinion, was cool because:

-Unlike, ahem, San Francisco or Berkeley, DC isn't heavy on the diversity self-promotion. Like, they don't have a "We're SO Diverse, It's Fuckin' CRAZY, Man" Day. That being said, I lived in the one of the top 3 most-diverse zip codes in the whole country (20009).

-When you think of America, for whatever reason (school, history class, car commercials) you probably think of: The Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial and the Viet Nam War Memorial. If not, you're just not an American, goddammit.
JK, of course, but the point is that DC is THE quintessential symbol of the US of A. Funny thing is...it looks more like a European city than, well, most European cities. (Oh, you know...circles with fountains in the middle, neo-classical architecture on every street, bridges, rivers, etc.)
Take that, you RW&B-Tshirted rednecks!

-Despite being the nation's capital--the hub of international and domestic news and policy--I frequently forgot that that whole part was even there. Then once in a while it would strike me, like, "oh yeah! I live in the hub of international and domestic news and policy!"

-That whole taxation-without-representation thing.
In the world's center of modern democracy.

I worked in a French bistro right across from where Abraham Lincoln was shot. I saw the cherry blossoms--a gift from the Japanese earlier last century--in full bloom. I lived blocks away from every embassy from every country you could imagine, big or small.

Thing is, I've never felt more...American.

blog launch!

Hello, Dear Reader.
I have decided to create a secondary blog.
It is more of a 'rant-and-rave' space than anything else.

Due to my Gemini nature, I wanted to keep all of that separate from the work I do here at emilie. In this way, I can feel a little bit of distance from my more-confident self who is able to form an actual opinion once in a while, and be able to continue functioning as the girl you are more familiar with: the one who gives equal weight to all points of view and feels guilty if she gives her two cents and, not only that, but immediately feels a change of heart and feels like she just shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but then after that realizes she's probably being too hard on herself (she's not quite sure, though) and feels glad she said something, but then recognizes it might have come out wrong (not 100%, though) and then doesn't know what to do so she just thinks of something inappropriate and laughs out loud and moves on.

I can also be judgmental there (not "mean"...just judgmental!), which is better for society as a whole because then I can just get it all out of my system instead of subjecting loved ones to my impulsive-conclusions which I sometimes mask as "honesty."
(See "Lives" at the end of this past Sunday's NYTimes magazine for more details on that concept.)

Perhaps one day I will be able to merge these two and not feel guilty about it. For now, though, it's best to keep them separate. And please realize that they both come from the same loving and compassionate heart.

Oh, and feel free to join in...it is a safe space to rant and rave about anything.
Just remember, it's mine.
So in the end, I'm always gonna be right.

Maybe.

Sorry.

Thanks.