18.6.05

i'll just admit it right now: i don't have any major things figured out yet

[Back in Carlisle for the weekend...having a good time chillin' with friends and dad (a lot of people are back in town). Today we drove around in the country, went canoeing did a small hike, bbq, beer/deck, etc. It's such a pastoral place--lush and untouched.]

Today I was giving a lot of thought to my peers and friends who seem to think they know what they're doing with themselves/their lives.
I just don't understand how you have all of the major questions answered already. Perhaps I'm far behind, or maybe it's that they are getting ahead of themselves?
People are getting married (and divorced), some know their calling and others have done complete 180's in just the past six months alone. Either going from being attached at the hip to a complete player, or the opposite: declaration of no desire to settle down/fear of commitment/mover&shaker type to all of a sudden settling down/committing/docility (not in a negative way).
It's not bad, just interesting to observe.
I know that, at a certain point, the "writing's on the wall." It's hard to ignore reality/fate slapping you directly in the face.
But sometimes I wonder how much of that we make up, or which "signs" we construct just to feel some sort of stability for once. Or which conclusions are hasty. Or maybe we're sick of the old ways, so "this will do" "because it's not bad" and "mostly good."
Or how much we are turning into our parents and the older generations we sometimes chided for thinking that everything that happens is somehow "proof" of what we believe; everything we come across is somehow evidence that we've made the right decision or that our opinions are the right ones. (Like Belly said, "Feed the tree").
I would just hate for us to be wearing the blinders already at such young ages.

5 comments:

withknivesout said...

hey! im getting divorced! fantastic!

Brad said...

Emilie--Happy Birthday!

If it gives you any consolation I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to be doing with my life.

Here's my theory about college graduates in their early 20s: For 22 years (minus a few at the beginning) we were in school of some sort. School gave us a very definite and distinct goal - to graduate. It was a goal that seemed inevitable for most of us, but also safely distant. Sucess, both social and "professional" was determined by our performance in various cirlces of academia. Now that we've all graduated we've entered this unkown world where there's not some magic future date towards which we are moving. There's no measuring stick (unless you place a lot of importance in being rich or famous, etc.) So people need to find stability and definition from some other source.

My solution to the whole conundrum? Well, I'm planning on going back to school until I'm 30!

Merry said...

nice belly reference.

allie said...

hmm this one makes me think, as i have a feeling you're doing some lumping here when i don't expect my emilie to make such assumptions.
i believe that "settling down" is a phrase that others put on people/situations which are fear-inducing. if you are one that is labeled that "settled down: married and career-established despite youth" as i am, i can't help but cringe and think of how many risks and difficult choices that it takes to live such a life. having a belief in something (like longtime love or choosing a career) is one of the most significant risks one can ever take. its those who do not have beliefs (regardless of their basis) who are lost and uncertain.
of course, beliefs change (people get divorced, people change careers) and things move on. but its that initial risk which is so frightening yet so exhilirating and confirming all at once that we are indeed, all just human beans in the same delicious soup. ;)

emilie said...

first of all, mer bear...you can't just come back from a 3-month blogbattacal and think you can get away with these one-line comments.
...or maybe you can.

allie,
i completely agree with you that making decisions/following/establishing one's beliefs is one of the biggest risks one can take. however, i'm very wary of once that is happened, people thinking everything that happens later is 'evidence' that one has made the 'right' decision.
not so wary that i worry, but i see some people closing themselves off to simple, peripheral 'options' just because they have made a decision. it's like, "i'm glad you've made a decision or come to some sort of realization, but in doing so, why feel threatened/scared/angry about side things? if you've made a decision/realization then, in my limited opinion, you *should* be able to 'deal' with minor roadblocks."

...this might not make any sense; it's sorta vague.
i know what i mean, lol