11.1.05

job interviews

As I attempt to show the world how smart I am by getting a real job, surprisingly I am met with significant opposition. Lately this has been in the form of the group interview. This is when a potential employer finally calls me for an interview, we set up a date/time, and I show up. At this point I am led into a small conference room and suddenly 2+ people are on one side of the table and I am on the other. After a barrage of names is tossed my way, "we" then engage in a round-table discussion about, well, me. Thing is, it feels more like an inquisition than a conversation. Just as they have questions for me, I have some of my own:

-Should I be bringing a PowerPoint presentation with me? I have some very good charts and graphs which lay out my qualifications.
-When the inquistadors laugh at inside jokes, should I laugh along? If I do, I'll look weird. If I don't, also weird.
-When answering a question, should I do a round of eye contact like a 3rd-grade teacher, or just speak to the question-bearer and give the others that "ya know?" glance of recognition?

I probably should just stick with being myself. Afterall, that's what all the employment gurus say. But how to convince a clique of boring yuppies that I'm one of them?

Hold on, let me get this fax...

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