24.1.05

Cheers to MMA!

"A friend is a present you give yourself" -Robert Louis Stevenson

Well happy pre-mature birthday to me!

Bored with talking about myself (I know!), today I am kicking off a series (or at least posting on or around the person's birthday) titled "Cheers to _______!" This toast can be used when you are drinking and don't have anything to toast, in which case you might want to start seeing someone about that. In any case, most of my posts from here on out will be dedicated to my dear friends, in no particular order. These are the people who have helped shape the colloidal mass that you refer to as Emilie. Of course, this series might appear as a way to simply rattle off a bunch of inside jokes with people you don't know, but I don't really give a crap. Plus, you'll have your turn and you'll like it.

On that note I present to you Meredith Miten Andews. She also goes by Merry or Mer Bear, usually the latter being against her will.

Merry came into this world singing. At the time it just sounded like a baby screaming, but this was later identified as musical talent. And boy was it! From church ensembles to the lead role in our high school musical to the a capella group at Kenyon College, she has delighted the world's ears for over two decades now. (Meredith is available for parties, weddings and Bar--only Bar--Mitzvahs.)

These talents were recently showcased in "Harrisburg Idol"--a lame, local version of the beloved TV show. Merry reluctantly agreed to such a ridiculous melee as a birthday gift to her mom. Her mom then revealed a psychotic side Merry had never, ever seen before. I mean, this psychotic side was completely unheard of prior to the "Harrisburg Idol" competition. This wasn't uncalled for given the fact that ever since she came into this world, all her parents have wanted was for this fragile china doll of a daughter to be rich and famous. They almost got their wish as Meredith finished in the top 12 of more than 300 participants. You can read more about it at our laudable daily, The Sentinel:

-First round article: http://www.cumberlink.com/articles/2005/01/14/news/news03.txt
-Second round article: http://www.cumberlink.com/articles/2005/01/17/news/news07.txt

In the days since not becoming rich and famous, Merry has developed a horrible crack-cocaine habit and won't come out to play. She has vowed to move to New York City and sing pop songs on rooftops, at the same time hopefully moving up to just regular cocaine.

Even so, I appreciate what Merry has contributed to my life: sarcasm, TiVo and more laughter than I could ever need in my time on His earth. We have lived at the beach together and at other places not together (like now, when I live in DC and she lives in Carlisle). We've eaten a lot of food, drank a lot of alcohol, and one time she threw up the former on my bedroom floor after having too much of the latter. Another time she made me cry by telling me she wasn't my chauffeur. Later we laughed when we realized that yes, she was my chauffeur after all. Merry is also severely allergic to everything on the planet and therefore will never have a pet. On this note, Cheers to Meredith!

1 comment:

Merry said...

emilie is a big fat liar. i am not her chauffeur goddamnit! i am more like her personal volunteer taxi service. yes, there is a difference- i haven't been issued a snappy/dapper uniform. What's that em? you want me to pick you up at Jiffy-Lube again?