blog, by me

This Blog is Mostly Now Defunct

2010-04-06T22:04:00.003-05:00

Hi.

Thanks for stopping by what used to be a place where I dumped my younger twenty-something thoughts. While I don't feel the need to erase this piece of history from the Interwebs, I also don't really do a lot here anymore. It's also funny. The stuff that used to prompt me to share and write is now distilled into 140-character status updates elsewhere.

If you really want to read this stuff, then I will offer some curation of my favorite bits, below. So have fun browsing - and go easy on some of my more ridiculous posts, usually fits of some strong emotion or another.

-Eulogy/dedication for my grandma (March 07)

-family vacation with my Army Ranger uncle (July 05)

-running my first marathon (Nov 05)

-buying some boots (Feb 05)

I'm scared, but not for the reason you may think.

2008-09-26T12:17:00.001-05:00

Wow.

The economy is really going down the tubes (duh). I believe in economics as a science, as a study, as an art...and I believe that there are really smart economists and economic and social scientists out there who can probably fix it. I picture them squirreled away in their ivory towers, oaken studies, corner offices, and government cubicles reading and computing and rubbing their smudgy glasses on their ill-fitting oxfords.
We really need to be focusing on finding these people, kidnapping them, and setting them up in some high-tech collaborative Google-like campus so that they can debate and figure and FIX our economic shit day.

And then it dawned on me, and when it dawned on me, it scared the bejeezus out of me:

The person who has to be in charge of doing this round-up and making it happen via real policy manifestations -- bless his heart -- will either be John McCain or Barack Obama. Now before you think I'm going to say, "so I'm scared that neither is qualified"...hold on a sec.

That's not my fear.

My fear is that they CAN'T actually focus on this issue as much as they need to because their priority is actually not fixing the economy...it's getting elected. Sure, they sincerely want to lend a hand. They want it to get better. They really, really do gosh golly gosh gee!

But, they can't.

Getting elected and fixing the economy are two very time- and energy-consuming undertakings, and I really don't think either one of them (or, um, any human being for that matter) is the kind of multi-tasker who could tackle them both at the same time.

The person who has to fix this economy, who has to be RIGHT NOW dedicating 20 hours a day with a panel of experts and scientists, is instead roaming around the country talking in dumb third grader's language about abortion and trying to get elected. What this means is that it is almost guaranteed that the economy will not get the attention it needs.

Scary.

it's true what they say about assumptions...

2008-09-11T10:31:00.002-05:00

Please, can anyone give me one example in which an assumption that was made that was:
A) correct
2) healthy
III) productive

and, last but not least....

NECESSARY??

It's really frustrating living in a world where assumptions drive everything. Assumptions are...NOT FACTS. So WHAT THE EFF are we doing running around basing everything off of assumptions? If NASA built a spaceship and assumed it worked, that would be ridiculous. The same logic applies in life.

So why do we live our lives, do our jobs, engage in relationships (friends, family, whatever), eat our food, vote for candidates -- everything -- based on assumptions? Assumptions produce every single negative thing I can think of.

It makes no sense to me and I fear that I am doomed and/or cursed to tread water in a world driven by assumptions.

That's all. Happy Thursday.

next time, making Baggio proud

2008-04-09T09:58:00.050-05:00

Between the recent college basketball season and the current baseball season, I've been watching something sports-related almost every day of 2008. I thought yesterday would be an exception, since the Nats had an off-day...but around 9pm I needed to unwind, so I turned on the ol' boob tube and started scrolling around. When I noticed the NCAA Women's Baskeball Championship was on, I hit "enter" on my remote and settled in to catch the second half of the game.

The last time I watched women's basketball was in early March, when a friend was visiting and we were flipping through the channels during the commercial breaks of the Syracuse/Marquette men's game. I changed it deliberately to whatever women's game was on and he -- although not a mean or sexist person -- snickered lightheartedly a little and said something to the effect of "isn't it ridiculous how much sloppier girls' basketball is?"
While I hadn't noticed on my own, once he mentioned it I guess I could see what he meant, and he being someone with whom I enjoy a great deal of laughter and who frequently makes these kind of over-the-top remarks in general, I ended up laughing a bit as well.

This sillier mindset carried over to last night, when I was discussing the championship game on the phone with a good friend. I lightheartedly repeated the earlier comment but soon realized how serious the words actually were. In fact, what I thought was funny actually went against not only an entire lifetime of my own experience, but also a century of hard-fought progress by political and athletic heroes alike.

###

Since I can even remember, there was only one thing I wanted in the entire world: to be the first woman to play on the U.S. men's national soccer team. I was obsessed with guys like Pele, Maradona, and Baggio (as well as our own Lalas and Jones) and since there was no women's team, I figured I would just have to step up to the plate and join the fellas.
Fast-forward to 1989. That's when FIFA finally established the Women's World Cup (almost 60 years after the men's!), and Miss Akers & Co. brought the first gold medal home from China in '91. I simply couldn't believe the good news! With this, my mission had been tweaked and my new goal was to instead join the likes of Akers, Hamm, and Lilly someday out there on the pitch. Yes, I still cried myself to sleep when Baggio missed his kick in '94 (I also vowed I would never bring my country that kind of over-the-crossbar shame), and I still wrote fan mail to that red-headed defender of US fame all throughout middle school, but my new dream -- and the dreams of entire generations of girls -- finally had its own place.

Now, more than a decade and a half later, that place is more stable than ever, according to the latest study by two Brooklyn College professors. In fact, in 1970, (prior to the 1972 enactment of Title IX under the Carter Administration), the national average of women's sports teams per school was only 2.5. Currently the number sits at 8.65 -- an incredible total increase of 346%. Additionally, there are now more than 180,000 female athletes competing on more than 9,000 sports teams in our country's colleges. These three figures are historical highs.

While this is all fine and dandy on a pretty bar graph, what does this mean in blood, sweat, and tears?
It means that more young women will spend hours after school kicking a ball against a wall hoping to improve their first touch, because they have more forums in which to pursue their dreams.
It means that more young women will have access to team sports because youth leagues and high-caliber development programs are forming and growing stronger every year to support these dreams.
And it means that The Worldwide Leader in Sports will broadcast on national television every game of the tournament in which one team will end up realizing its ultimate dream, as the Lady Vols did last night.

###

Unlike a free throw or a penalty kick, there really are no extra chances in life, and mistakes and regret cannot be mollified by a gigantic "re-do." Nope, them's the breaks of the real world...um, just like the fact that I never even made the varsity squad in college.

But there is always a next time, an off-season, another game.

So next time I hear a comment like that, rather than laughing I will look my friend in the eye and tell him that what he just said is disgusting. That if the play was, in fact, "sloppy" at all, it sure as hell has nothing to do with the fact that it's "girl's" basketball. I will tell him that even comparing one to the other is like comparing apples and oranges, from which no rational juice could ever be gleamed, and which for such a smart guy is quite the dumbass remark.

I know this isn't the same as a game-winning goal scored at the buzzer, but at least it's not over the crossbar on the final shot.
And sometimes it takes one bad game to come out on top next time.

"Good" Friday

2008-03-21T10:17:00.007-05:00

It's Good Friday, party people!

Actually, I could care less (no offense) about the religious thing. But I just felt like making a list of things I think are good.

Things I Think Are Good, by Emilie Cole:
-beer (except Fat Tire. Blech.)
-sarcasm
-the practice of following one's gut (by practicing the policy of following one's gut, one will inevitably learn lessons (yes, some very hard). As a result of this learning, one's gut will evolve to include more and more "right" decisions, which in turn will arm one with an even better gut to follow)
-the resulting redevelopment of Southeast DC due to the new Nationals Stadium
-saying "please" and "thank you"
-moderation (itself in moderation)
-laughing until you can't see or breathe, whichever comes first
-having bad days and hard times
-Kraft Mac-n-Cheese Spirals, preferrably with a hot dog cut up
-true alone time once in a while
-feeling exhausted from physical exercise
-Web 2.0 and Google
-extreme right- and left-wingers. Both are a beautiful part of our collective dialogue
-doing nothing sometimes
-if you have kids, to have more than just one
-Cat Stevens
-equality in marriage
-use of the serial comma
-Bush's vegetarian baked beans
-Syracuse not making the tournament (you got to earn it to own it, kiddos)
-the Classical Renaissance
-onion rings with ranch dressing
-trying new things and even retrying things you didn't like before once in a while
-The Wire
-serving in the military (I didn't)
-spending a little more for green products
-these Girl Scout cookies: Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs
-the Ten Commandments, as read secularly
-immigration
-the people in my life
-the American system of checks and balances, especially the idea of three separate branches of government
-immigration reform
-knowing how to drive manual transmission
-knowing Spanish (I don't)
-direct-service non-profit organizations and huge internationals banks
-the fact that The New Yorker just exists (I don't necessarily need to read it)
-pub appetizers, especially pub appetizer sampler plates which include lots of fried things
-bacon
-All, It's

home, spring, whatever

2008-03-10T09:24:00.002-05:00

...And that's to say, yeah I'm leaving...But I don't have to go there.
I don't have to go to Spring Street.
Because its spring everywhere.

I thought my spring involved leaving. I was happy with my plan, and too angry to look back. Hindsight is 20/20...and I guess I'd rather eventually see 20/20, no matter how frustratingly-timed, than to never see it at all.

I thought my spring hinged on this move...on this new beginning, and the way I was raised it was ingrained in me to turn to 'new beginnings,' so I never questioned that. Now for the first time in my life I sense home, and I know where it is. And it's not where my family is, although I thought that may have been the case. And it's not where the majority of my family thinks I "should" be. And it's not "less" home because it is far from them.

And it's not the familiarity or the memories. It's not the sound of the Muni, the farmer's market, the sparkling bay on a sunny day, or the freedom to feel glum on a foggy one. It's not calling Papalote and having them know my voice, or sitting in my kitchen with the ravished spread laid out on the table and offering Karen the last bite of my rice and bean super burrito 'cause I know she wants one last bite. It's not merchants of 24th; the Fernandas or the Jules or the Joes. It's not the exhilarating thigh-burn I get when I walk anywhere, nor the fun disdain for the Marina. It's not cheering with Random Dave at the Dub on an autumn Sunday morning, or Karen hearing the homeless guy ride his shopping cart down 24th Street at 11pm and hurry up and look or we'll miss it this time. It's not the obnoxious sound-making knick-knacks lining Mission Street storefronts, or posters of leather-clad beefcakes lining Castro Street. It's not the spot on Fair Oaks where so many nicely-potted plants have been arranged by a bench and I look down toward my house and everything feels good and the sunlight peeks through to the sidewalk and I can hear the kids over at the Adda Clevenger playing during recess. It's not donuts on Christmas morning or Bart's ravioli on Thanksgiving. It's not fixed-gear bike riders, or riding my own bike across the bridge, dodging the Blazing Saddles renters, and around and then up to the tippy top of the Headlands with my calves on fire and my heart pumping and my lungs heaving, and looking back on the city and getting goosebumps.

No, all those things are just nice memories I feel lucky to have like all the other thousands I'm forced to keep in my mind from the myriad of places I've lived.

Home? Home is where the heart is.

And I want to come home.

misc. wednesday

2008-03-05T16:04:00.005-05:00

-I can't believe it's been a year. I don't want to die without doing what makes sense. I don't want to lose important things due to stuff I could have changed. I don't want to sell myself short.

-I won't.

-Hey there...what's that in your sky
With all the pretty lights
You think I can get that high?
Hey you man, where's your motivation
And why the celebration
You've gotten nothing done here.
You wanna live until you
Die alone and will
Fly alone and will
I'm not so far below
I live beneath your sky
With tainted eyes,
I've made my mind
To live until I die
Run run run catch me if you can can can
Come and hold my hand and I'll be your biggest fan
Followers living in your hollow words
I have seen your nine to fives
Wash away your dreams

misc. wednesday

2007-12-05T18:37:00.001-05:00

-Because it's that time of year, here is your fool-proof Bar Bible

-On a similar note, I really do believe that we will beat the P-Bags on Sunday

-If you know me at all (which would be creepy if you didn't), then you know that right now I am in a literal Holly-Daze. The period between Thanksgiving and the New Year is my absolute favorite time of year. Thank you for bearing with me.

-There's recently been some discussions surrounding "good beer." As such, I will go ahead and list my top-ten favorite Winter beers (list subject to change upon new discoveries):
10. Old Dominion Winter IPA
9. Sam Adams' Winter Lager
8. My friend Alex Porcaro's home-brewed Wassail
7. Anderson Valley Winter Solstice
6. Sam Smith's Winter Welcome Ale
5. Sam Adams' Cranberry Lambic
4. Sam Adams' Old Fezziwig Ale
3. Tuborg Christmas Brew
2. Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
1. Anchor Steam Christmas (with a candy cane in the glass)

-Timing, as they say, is everything.

lyrics

2007-11-27T18:00:00.000-05:00

You've got so much to say...
Say what you mean,
Mean what you think,
And then think anything.
-Cat Stevens, from "Can't Keep It In"

I'd say that's a fool-proof way to go about life honestly and sincerely. Wouldn't you?

television

2007-10-30T11:44:00.000-05:00

For some reason I've been having lots of conversations about television lately, and have found myself actually watching the ol' boob tube as well. As such, I just thought I'd list my top-ten favorite shows/series (including one miniseries) of all time, followed by an attempt to qualify the ranking:

10. The L Word (Showtime)
OK, OK...this one made this list for obvious reasons. But after living in an annoying "shadow" of a prominent stereotype of lesbians (softball), it was great to see a new image crammed down premium cable subscribers' throats. Even if the new stereotype is now getting stale.

9. Band of Brothers (HBO)
No, I didn't pick this just because it came out when I was an Army ROTC cadet and all of the other nerd-alert cadets (of which I was not one) were obsessed with it. [They were really, really obsessed with it]. I actually thought - even as the more-non-Republican person that I am - that it was a beautiful portrayal of the type of unit morale indicative of WWII and the Modern Era. A well-delivered, wonderfully-directed account of the soldiers and the war.

8. Friends (NBC)
Always hailed by sitcom experts as a look inside the post-Gen-X-but-not-quite-Gen-Y generation (you know, the one in between Reality Bites and Grey's Anatomy) -- the scripted peek inside what happened to My So Called Life's characters once they developed better social skills and moved to the Big Apple -- Friends (whether you hate it or not) DID change the scene for sitcom writing and innovated what has now become "formulaic" comedic timing...what you see in the likes of Scrubs to Grey's...something all of these lame-ass shows (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, What About Brian?, etc.) would never innovate. But even without higher thinking, I always found myself laughing hysterically at the really-for-real situations encountered by the affable Friends, and their realistically-portrayed attempts at getting out alive.

7. Twin Peaks (ABC)
I'm not going to lamely repeat all of the high-brow prose surrounding Lynch's incredible show; in fact, I'm not completely read up on it to this day just because I could really give two craps anyway. Alls I knows is that his style translated brilliantly to the small-screen, and every single scene -- even the comedic ones -- gave every last inch of my body the creeps. This show wins for eliciting the most physical reaction!

6. Disney's Adventures of the Gummy Bears (Disney Afternoon on ABC/NBC)
Dashing and daring, courageous and caring...this was one of those staple shows of my childhood. But aside from its catchy, motivational theme song that made me feel like I could do anything, it really impacted the way I thought about life and the power of teamwork. Overall, I gained a significant amount from the Disney Afternoon (which also included Chip-N-Dale Rescue Rangers, DuckTales, Goof Troop, and Darkwing Duck).

5. Six Feet Under (HBO)
Never has death been portrayed to me as such a meaningful and meaningless occurrence.

4. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)
I remember watching The Daily Show with Craig Kilborne and thinking how it couldn't get any better than this. And then it did. Seriously, if Jon Stewart ran for president I would vote instantly. I rely on this show in so many ways, it's kind of embarrassing. Well, not really.

3. Jeopardy! (Sony Pictures)
The simplest and classiest show on TV. One of my life's dreams is to be a contestant.

2. TIE!
Seinfeld (Fox)
Again -- please don't turn to this schmuck of a paragraph for anything "new" about Seinfeld's role in TV and pop history. But this show was instrumental in the development of my sense of humor, which is a crucial element of my personality (did you think I didn't know that?). Its contributions go beyond reminiscing with friends about "the one with...." to some serious borrowing of joke-delivery inflections, humorous concepts, and all the rest of it. And as a high-schooler, I was drawn to this foreign world of selfish adult life in Manhattan in a fascinating anthropological way: it was so foreign from my then-Wal-Mart-centric existence, and it armed me with the ability to take people I meet now like Elaine Benis with a grain of salt.
Absolutely Fabulous (BBC)
Edina Monsoon is one of my heroes (and so is Jennifer Saunders) because she just does whatever the hell she wants.

1. The Wire (HBO)
Here's how good The Wire is: I'm only finishing up Season 2 (Season 5 starts in January 2008), and it's my favorite show of all time. So I guess that could disqualify it if you're going to be all nit-picky. Which you probably are because you never cut me any slack anymore.
Maybe it gets really bad and I'll regret this decision. Maybe not. I don't really care, yo. The show's writing is, hands-down, the best I've ever experienced, thanks to writer/creator Edward Burns' real-life experience as a career BPD cop. It is so real -- so true -- that you literally want to move to Baltimore and at the same time never want to move to Baltimore. Nobody wins and nobody loses -- just like real life. There is not one single cheesy or obvious moment -- as of yet -- and there is not one instructional scene or dialogue to make you "get it." In watching the true reality of Baltimore play out, though, you just do.

misc. wednesday

2007-10-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

Well THAT was a long hiatus!

-all the hoopla in my life right now stems from the World Series. I think, though, and at the expense of being dumped by my Beantown-born girlfriend, that the Sox have a tall order ahead of them (see: Starks' ESPN article from today for more substantive analysis than I could ever give) and could probably end up losing. The good thing is that at least the Sox regain their underdog status heading into the Big Run according to the info given in Starks' piece.
My own prediction lies not in who will win, but how they will win: if the Rox lose, they'll be in such shock that they probably wouldn't be able to recover. If they win, however, it will keep up their amazingly-victorious momentum to drive them to a sweep-like routing of the Sox.

- One of my favorite movie sequences:
Clark: "I can't wait to meet our relatives, in person." "Dipplestrabe." "What are we looking for?"
Audrey: "Sechs."
Clark: "That will do, Audrey."
Audrey: "That's German for six."

-I still don't have any beef with Mike Tomlin's performance so far.

-I went to San Diego this weekend (before the fires started raging). I think it's a really interesting place. It has beautiful weather year-round, and it makes me wonder what the absence of rainy and gloomy days could have on a mass society. Usually rainy/gloomy days result in boredom, introspection, even creativity. Because of the endless sunshine and, thus, distraction, do San Diegoans have, en masse, a generally-less-developed sense of self? Are they in touch with their emotions at all? What do they consider the meaning of life? What IS the meaning of life?
This thought briefly crossed my mind on our way to go surfing.

-Sometimes I just really like Ace of Base.

-And sometimes I don't. Those are the darker days.

complete douchebag makes baseball "history"

2007-08-08T01:31:00.000-05:00

OK, OK...so a lot of people out there might consider the fact that I scored $25 tickets to tonight's Giants game and ended up seeing "history" quite an envious fact. To be honest, I'm just glad to have seen my boys from D.C. rock the house. A very impressive performance by my beloved Nats.

What's less impressive to me is how a doped-up/genetically-altered super-human athlete "beat" an actual athlete's sporting record. When Bonds slammed his 756th homer this evening, I may have been the only one among 46,000ish people who could not only care less, but who actually felt contempt and slight anger at the hoopla surrounding this ridiculous "feat." I mean, how hard is it to beat something that's 33 years old...especially when you've basically been cheating to do it? That's like me bragging I can send an email faster than someone in 1974 could send a fax.

And even less impressive to me than Bonds is the SF Giants fans in general. Way to be so maniacal about the "Road to History" (as the immediately-rolled-out banners proclaim) that as soon as the inning in which this so-called "history" was made, you pack up and go back to your organically-carpeted TIC condos. Because, of course, you saw the "moment"...what does the rest of the game even matter? Seriously, I think about 20,000 left the stadium within 30 minutes of #756. For as much as I think Boston fans are some of the most obnoxious people in the entire world, I admire them for that very same quality. You just know Fenway would have somehow added butts to seats as opposed to this pathetic AT&T Park attrition I saw tonight.

Last but not least. Least impressive than the above: the actual SF Giants themselves. After including in your ballgame one of the singular moments in baseball history, you can't even win the damn game. Pathetic.

I hope this doesn't sound like I didn't have a fun time -- I love baseball and I loved this evening. Just had to get some irritation off my chest. Go Nats...I'll be there tomorrow, too!

a fortnight in New England

2007-07-11T17:25:00.001-05:00

Ahoy hoy! What a marvelous trip I just had with my boo to her old NE stomping grounds. Let me tell you all about it (mainly so I can relive the past):

Arrive in Boston after a wonderful non-stop flight on JetBlue. Honestly, JetBlue is one of the best things happening to America right now, and even the red-eye is bearable, nay, enjoyable. Leave that afternoon for friend Carrie's Maine lake house, where we spent 5 nights on the waterfront. Daytime activities include canoeing, swimming, laying, eating, laying, and swimming. Nighttime: grilling, watching scary movies (both "Cape Fears," for example). It was a big, gay time.

Back in Boston for a night then on to a solo NYC trip (briefly leaving official New England). As many know, a NYC trip means non-stop, short visits: lunch, coffee, dinner, drinks. Somehow it's never stressful for me because I'm seeing people I like and I don't care if a cross-town bus is involved. Stayed with the wonderful Mer-Bear (Merry Andrews) who introduced me to her world of arts and crafts at her newfound love, Little Shop of Crafts, for which she will be the Upper-West Side store manager. (See very early postings on this blog for more about Merry). One of the highlights was dinner at Amy Ruth's near her Harlem apartment. Let's just say I've never had honey-dipped fried chicken before, and now I can't imagine my life without it.

Met up with Leah and her family to leave NYC for their place in the Berkshires...a small but kick-ass wildnerness house. Got to see two renowned performances, one at the dance venue Jacob's Pillow and the other at Tanglewood. I'm definitely not a modern dance fan (I feel like I could run around in gentle circles waving my arms and call it 'art', but the venue was cool). Heard lovely Beethoven Fuges via Emerson String Quartet at Tanglewood which was nice, although taking all of the retired "Berkshirians" sprawled out on the grass with a grain of salt. Day we left I got some awesome goat cheese from a po-dunk farm and had breakfast at a cafe that rehabilitates and employs adults with mental-health issues (as Carrie, who works with this sector, would say: adult retards).

That day we drove back to Boston for a baseball-filled evening. We walked from Leah's house to Fenway...just her dad, the girls and me. As you may or may not know, I'm relatively new to baseball and consider myself a loyal Nationals fan, but there was something differently-exciting about going to Fenway for the first time, including the seriously-obnoxious Sox fans, including Leah's own dad. I mean, is everyone a bum??

After that is was off to Cape Cod for the Fourth. Leah's family lucked out and moved to Brookline 35 years ago; I'd consider them about as blue-collar as you'd get in that part of the city. Necessarily, though, a lot of her friends from Brookline HS have different experiences and lawyer/doctor-type professions. Needless to say, for whatever reason, they've got Cape houses. So we got to go to the Cape.

A beautiful hike on the bayside to a sandbar for swimming, a walk-up raw bar, a fun-filled BBQ with the necessary (and, on this end, quite missed) summer thunderstorm...it was a really fun time.

Now I'm back in SF and realizing that the east coast is definitely where my heart is. I'll be back eventually!

yelp

2007-05-30T12:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't really been blogging very substantially lately -- the occasional list or random thought aside. But I've really gotten into the Yelp lately. I think it's pretty sweet that you can write a readable review on anywhere you've ever been. Check it out, dudicals.

mem day

2007-05-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

I'm very excited, for tonight I leave for DC and northern Virginia for a fun-filled weekend of canoeing, weddings, and seeing so many people I haven't seen for the past year. Hurray for Memorial Day weekend!

feel-the-love Friday

2007-05-18T12:52:00.000-05:00

Here are some things I love right now and why:

-Gone With the Wind:
Because it has been a nice story to get into after an evening full of logical reasoning, and because I love reading about the South.

-The Washington Nationals:
Because it is baseball season.

- Studying for the LSAT:
Because it is making me a better person.

-My bike:
Because it is waiting patiently in the hallway until I'm done with the LSAT. And because it is off-white in color.

-Radio Deliro (French Internet radio station):
Because it plays a variety of good stuff, from sun-themed Beatles song sets, to 20s big band classics, to Parisian jazz circa 1935, to the Mozart standards, to American blues, to the wonderful group Le Grand Orchestre du Splendid (right now it's some French boogie version of "Swanee River.") Or maybe it's just because it makes me want to drink a Manhattan, and even thinking about drinking a Manhattan makes me happy.

- Leah Tuckman:
Because she "lets" me be myself, without letting me be myself in a bad way. Actually, I think being myself in a bad way is literally impossible given the inherent truth I've discovered that I am always necessarily good with her.
Also, she's a math teacher and she likes to introduce me to really bad hip hop.

happy about the Nats

2007-04-17T18:00:00.000-05:00

I am very happy about the Nats winning "streak." What makes me more proud is that they're doing it in their crappy stadium and in the worst spring in memorable baseball history. But, for the Nats, it's a chilly spring of bonding.

Ontario native and pitcher Shawn Hill, however, isn't quick to take the compliment:
"We played baseball when it was hailing and it was minus-15 degrees. Until there's snow on the ground and the wind's blowing it sideways, it's not cold."

grow up, DCist

2007-04-10T22:36:00.000-05:00

From the DCist's recent article, "In-Nat-equate":
Well, Nats fans, what's there to say? What can we add to the criticism leveled by so many others?
What can we say about an opening week where the Nats have yet to lead for a single pitch? When the pitching has spotted the opposition leads of 6-0, 6-0, 5-0, 4-0, 7-0, 6-0, and 3-0? When the lineup needed 30 at bats to finally get a hit with a man in scoring position? When the defense has a worst-in-the-league eight errors?

This article makes me sad. Boo hoo. How, in our nation's capital, are you actually THIS fickle that you cannot enjoy America's original pastime??? I lived in D.C. when the Nats came to town and spent three hours on eBay trying to get opening day tickets. The daughter of a career officer, I had never had baseball in my life before, and I welcomed the chance to root for the home team and follow the boys through ups and downs. Even though a year later I had moved across the country to San Francisco, I still get excited when the Grapefruit League starts and my Google "Nats" Alerts roll in by the dozens each week. Well, except when crap like this comes to my inbox and I wonder how people like the author are able to enjoy life when they're so focused on the negative and can't just sit back and enjoy what it means to be a fan.

misc. wednesday

2007-03-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

-Things are pretty much back to "normal" now; just getting into work again and looking forward to the spring and summer. It's different without the three-minute voice messages hounding on the Democrats or updating me on the weather, but in more ways than one, Grandmere is definitely still alive in spirit.

-While I'm still not sure how I feel about the hyper-personalization of news (that, essentially, we "miss out" on important information if we simply tailor every publication toward our liking), I have to say that Google News Alerts have become the solution to my sports-team ignorance. I've always been so flustered about not being able find my way through the sports-journalism labyrinth, that I simply give up within the first few weeks of the season. Then I feel like such a poser not knowing what's going on when I watch the games! Thank god that now Google simply delivers, right to my inbox, a list of links matching "washington nationals." I think I'm actually going to be able to form an opinion for once -- my first one ever in the history of sports. Maybe I'll try it out on my next posting.

-Congratulations to my roommate and pal Karen for winning this St. Patty's Day "Romancing the Island" 25k run on Angel Island here in SF! (Yours truly, on the other hand, could barely finish the 12k without my knee exploding in pain. A year and a half after the MCM, it's still fucked up.)

-Good ol' Brad is coming to visit this weekend and I couldn't be more excitamundo. Lineup of events includes trip to Napa -- got a free pair of 10-cent tasting passes for 10 wineries. Coupled with the super-cheap $20 ferry/bus pass, I'd say we're gonna be making out pretty frugally. Maybe we'll go to a nice restaurant and just ask for water and bread.

-$10 to anyone who can tell me what he's saying.

-Joined a women's flag football team with Leah. After my first game, I can say with confidence that it's probably the gayest thing I've ever done. Even more than working for the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

-Some pop-meta-critic will probably write (or perhaps has already written), a treatise on spelling, punctuation, and grammar in the digital age. I would like to go on record as the first person who said that hyperlinks are the new parentheses.

grandmere

2007-03-09T21:11:00.000-05:00

Velma "Vicki" Jean Wilburn Strickland

1929 - 2007

My Grandmere passed away this Monday after a courageous battle with brain and lung cancer. I wanted to share my remarks from the services with you few blog readers, for no reason other than why the heck else we throw anything upon these blogs: it means something to the author.

Given at Edenton (N.C.) United Methodist Church, 3/8/2007:

It is very hard to relay to you all what Grandmere means to the seven of us grandkids. But hopefully, I can share a fraction of that with you today.

I think I can say with tremendous confidence that Katie, James, Brooke, Caleb, Lauren, Zach and I sure had our work cut out for us. I bet we had to explain ourselves more than any other set of grandchildren out there:
“Grandwho?”
“What-meer?”
Proudly, and as if it was everyone else who was odd, we’d reply, “You know – Grandmere, silly.”
We’d never let anyone get away with, “Oh, your grandma.” And by the end of the conversation, they would have adopted the word “Grandmere” right into their own vocabularies. “Grandmere” was like saying “Velma” or “Vicki”; it was her name.

Many of you still might be a little confused, so let me quickly explain.

Hardly a bedtime passed when she would not read to us. One night we came upon a French fairy tale of a little girl named Nanette who lived with her grandmother. She left their cottage on a journey to visit a creepy, old chateau.

“Now a chateau in France was a castle…built of gray stone and had many high round towers, and underneath there were dungeons. Happily, Nanette trudged along, watching the towers come nearer and nearer. The tall towers reached right up into the clouds. Her wooden shoes clatter-clapped, for they were going to the Chateau, too. Now Nanette began to climb the steps that led to the Chateau. There were many steps to be climbed—the Chateau was far above the stone cottage where Nanette and Grandmere lived.”
-From “Nanette Visits the Chateau” by Esther Brann Childcraft books, 1949

In French, “Grandmere” is pronounced “grahn-mare.” But in her loving, South-Western Virginia accent, she was soon to pronounce the grandmother’s name...well, in her loving, South-Western Virginia accent.

Following directions, I repeated what I had heard...and, just like that, “Grand-meer” was born.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve told that story. One of the more memorable was to my French boss when I was working at a French restaurant in Washington, D.C. He jokingly replied, “So…what do you call your grandfather? Grandpeer?”

Just like her name, Grandmere is an intersection of the true-blue American from the mountains of South Western Virginia and a well-traveled, worldly woman with an incredibly-deep talent of cultural and historical knowledge. No matter how far away my dad’s Army career took us, Grandmere – and Grandpapa – were there. In fact, there are only a handful of memories from the eight years I lived overseas in which Grandmere isn’t a major part. On the other hand, she didn’t think twice to set up her life here in Edenton when our family needed it. And even here, she has turned this small town into an international hub: Strickland Family Central, where relatives and friends come from near and far to what she has made into our family’s home.
But this dedication to family is only a sliver of a glimpse of who Grandmere was, is, and always will be.

A strong, courageous, independent – and, oftentimes respectably-stubborn – woman, Grandmere has given me and my cousins that same life determination and resolution to do what is right and honorable. What’s more has been her remarkable gift of confidence that we can do anything. Today she leaves us so many gifts, not the least of which are her conviction and faith, and so, so many more lessons. I don’t think Grandmere considered herself a teacher, but she was a great one. Indeed, it was especially in these past few years where we grandchildren have watched as Grandmere has stood by our Grandpapa, and have learned so many valuable examples of love and loyalty.

We WILL carry these lessons – and values – through our own lifetimes, and our grandchildren will do the same. It’s this kind of impact that we can only hope to pass down to the generations that follow us as much as Grandmere has done for this generation.

There is a quote that Grandmere never let me forget. Well, there are many things she quite successfully never let me forget; sometimes at the expense of my patience.
But she always told me, “Ems, there are three things no one can ever take away from you: Your vote, your faith, and your dignity.”

To this short – but powerful – list, I would add a fourth: Grandmere herself.

about reading

2007-02-22T12:52:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have been a part of a few different conversations about reading: what people read, how, when, etc. I've always thought of myself as a reader, but now that I think about it, I guess I should really fess up that I'm not necessarily that. Readers make time to read, and, well, I don't.
On the other hand, I really love reading when it's actually happening...and usually, I get annoyed that I have to stop to, say, sleep. But I'm admitting, after these conversations, that I'm not "a reader" at this point in my life.

One problem I have is that I feel really ignorant about books, authors, "classics," and overall literary history. I'm not quite sure why such-and-such book is considered classic of this or representative of that, but instead of picking it up to read it, my ignorance makes me want to not read it "yet" until I've learned the basics of literary history. I feel that I wouldn't "understand" the book as well as I would if I had some context in which to place it.
In the end, I end up not reading it because I don't have that knowledge, that results in not reading, and I'm "stuck" in the same position I was in before. It's a vicious cycle, really.

Don't get me wrong: I've taken steps to remedy this. I copied my friend's syllabus from Columbia, bought The Illiad and just tried to start plugging away. Eventually, I couldn't get past the dense list-of-battle-groups section. I moved on.
Another time I bought the Oxford Anthology of Literature and was determined to conduct my own survey literature course with it. Well, that wasn't the lightest summer reading (literally and figuratively), so I left the project for another time.
Other times I just read a book randomly, highly enjoy it, but feel like I didn't "learn" as much as I could because of my lack of understanding of literature.

Part of this is my stubborness about knowing as much as I could. Part of it is motivation/lazy issues. A lot of it is availability. One thing's for certain, though...I don't like the fact that I'm not a "reader," and I'd like to find -- or make -- the time to change that.

Maybe after this whole LSAT thing...

my update posting

2007-02-10T20:40:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like I've slipped a bit (O.K., a lot) in my blogging duties/obligations. Sometimes that just happens 'cause of life. Speaking of, though, here are some of my updates since November.

j-My brother came to visit me for Thanksgiving. It was, I'd say, a turning point in our adult sibling relationship.

@-I took a job at the National Center for Lesbian Rights, a national non-profit law firm working towards equality under the law for all gay people. Some of our major cases include the recently-settled Harris v. Penn State and the upcoming Woo v. California (California's version of the Massachusetts ruling. Basically, if we win, gay "marriage" will be legal in California.) We're lead counsel in these cases and more, a role which most people think is reserved for the ACLU, Human Rights Campaign, or Lambda Legal. It's actually NCLR -- kinda cool, huh? I started this past Monday, so I witnessed the media barrage that was the Harris case (Google-news it). It's a great organization and my co-workers are awesome!

G-I've decided to apply for law school for '08.

Y-My girlfriend Leah and I celebrated our first anniversary. Looking forward to year #2.

b-I'm the proud owner of a new road bike.

h-Grandmere has stage four lung and brain cancer. Not so great. I went to visit her for a week and let's just say that cancer is a real eye-opening disease. If I were you I would stop smoking...um, NOW.

borat sucked

2006-11-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

You guys know me; I don't shy away from offensive and awkward humor. That being said, I think the movie "Borat" was a complete piece of crap, dim and stupidly written, and, well, bad. Definitely spend your ten bucks on something else!

wtf thursday

2006-11-16T18:56:00.000-05:00

The only WTF I have is about my own musical taste between 1998 and 2000.

If I EVER would have thought that my favorite late-nineties women musicians would end up as Starbucks poster children or obscure public radio program showcased artists (read: Sheryl Crow, Shawn Colvin, fuckin' Sarah McLachlan [you can find her debut holiday standards album next to the after-coffee mints]), I may have been going to Lollapalooza instead of Lilith Fair.

That being said, I did enjoy my grande gingerbread latte.

misc. wednesday

2006-11-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

-Love this bridge:

-Public radio bias aside, I think npr.org has the best interactive election website, hands-down.

-In response to how President Bush plans to handle the likely Pelosi House leadership, he began his reply with "This isn't my first rodeo..." I just think that's hilarious. On a related note, I think he's doing a good job overall with this particular news conference...very candid and sincere sounding. Actually, it's almost stand-up-comic-like.

-I'm kind of sad the California cigarette tax proposition failed. It would have been interesting to see what, if anything, it would have done for public health.

-Is there something wrong with me for being so antsy with my job? Am I cursed with an insatiable work ethic? Seriously...it's not "ungratefulness"; I know many would give anything for my setup and thinking back to my initial hire, I thought I was the luckiest gal in the whole wide world. But while those theoreticals fly about in the flourescently-lit air, I'm managing to trudge through the days, completely out of ideas for how to make it better, and it's kinda taking a (albeit sporadic) toll. Maybe my lifetime of moving around, and then four years of college involved with every activity under the "sun" (Syracuse joke) has made it even more difficult to find a corresponding job. But I'm OK with that challenge, even if it pains me daily to not be there yet. I would rather work nonstop from 8 - 6 than stroll in here at 9 and wrack my brains thinking of how to contribute until five. (By the by...it's not that the work I do is 'easy,' it's just that there's not enough of it, it's getting super repetitive, and I've completely outgrown the skills required to complete the duties). The good things are that I've realized this about myself (this need to be completely engaged and challenged on the job), and I have enough time on my hands to apply to other jobs.

-On an ironic, but similar note, there was what I consider an amazing essay this past Monday on Morning Edition's weekly "This I Believe" series. A woman explains why you have to live with what you do every single day, so it might as well be exactly what you want. Amen to that - and I'm workin' on it!

-Hyperlinks are the new parentheses.

-I think I'm going to go home for lunch and make macaroni and cheese. My favorite kind of mac-n-cheese is Kraft spirals.

-I'm very excited about Friday night! Going to see Michael Tilson Thomas conduct the SF Symphony...and they're playing my favorite, Mozart!!

-Karen leaves for her much-anticipated return visit to South Africa today. We'll miss you!

weekend edition: boo's mom

2006-11-06T13:46:00.000-05:00

A great weekend overall! Well, except for this:

At 2-6, I'm not sure if Ben and the boys will be seeing much playoff action. But with this kind of thing, maybe they're getting all the "action" they need.

OK, maybe that was a tasteless joke. But I didn't take the picture, for god's sakes!

Regardless of their record/propensity for compromising positions, I'm still looking forward to Heinz Field on Christmas Eve.

Moving on to more pressing matters, as I mentioned above I had a lovely weekend, mostly due to the visit of Mrs. Tuckman ("Jan"). Raised in a Southern-slash-military household, I still have a hard time calling her Jan.
But I should really self-actualize my 25 year-old-ness and get on with it.

Jan's Visit 2006 began after work on Friday when the three of us (Jan, Leah, myself) met up at Limon...a yummy Peruvian restaurant specializing in ceviche, which I will officially label as the 'bomb diggity.'
Last weekend some guy dented Leah's car while it was parked in my neighborhood. He left a note, Leah called him, and he offered to get her a gift certificate for dinner somewhere when Leah said the dent wasn't a big deal. By the end of the day there was a $100 credit towards Limon in the mailbox!
Nice guy, huh? So San Francisco.
But that was last weekend and this is supposed to be about this weekend, so I continue. Limon...awesome.

Saturday met boo and boo's mom down at the Ferry Building for some wonderful market-browsing which resulted in the purchase of some green tomatoes, rainbow chard, and a sugar pumpkin for a Sunday of cooking and baking. Afterwards we took an afternoon trip to the secret beach, the location of which remains a secret to many, save a sprinkle of San Franciscans and a handful of nude-prone gay men. It's located off of Lincoln Blvd via Langdoon Court in the Presidio (closer to the bridge more than Baker Beach).
Post-Pacific Ocean sunset we headed back to the cit-ay and caught the latest Killing My Lobster show: another hilarious sketch comedy by the crew and I highly recommend checking it out! If you do, you'll know why after the performance we high-tailed it over to Taqueria Castillito for some much-needed Mexican fare. After saying farewell to a lovely Saturday with the ladies, went home and watched the first three episodes of Six Feet Under, season 5.

Sunday-day the Tuckmans had their own time; I went on a bike ride and tried my hand at running right afterward (weird sensation). I then commenced what would be a five-hour baking/cooking spree, culminating in a Sunday-evening dinner for me, Leah, and "Jan" consisting of fried green tomatoes, sauteed chard and some butternut squash soup, as well as pumpkin bread and oatmeal cookies. Pleasant time all around with the Colts ending a Pats win streak, 27-20.

Happy Monday!

autumn? autumn!

2006-11-02T14:16:00.000-05:00

And now for a cheesy post about autumn, so typical of east-coasters who would never THINK of leaving the paradise that is the Bay Area...except during this time of year:

To be frank, I used to HATE autumn. Not sure why. I think part of it had to do with the omninous flute music and earthy color scheme of (boring) 1970s television reruns. Also, because I lived overseas for so long, I never grew up with those American autumnal staples like football, pumpkin-based foodstuffs, and sweatshirts with turtlenecks underneath. In fact, I used to dislike the fall because it basically meant that I would have to wear sweatshirts with turtlenecks underneath.
And I hate sweatshirts!

OK, not really. It just meant that playing outside was coming to a close end and then I'd be stuck inside with my family.
Um, no thanks.
But somewhere along the line, I began to like the fall.

Well, not just "somewhere." I know where this deciduous decision began, goshdarnit, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It started with high-school cross country. Yes, cross country. I know that sounds really dorky...but whatevs, yo. Cross country is dorky! But that's where it started and you're going to have to accept that about me.
You see, after months of training in hot weather, the season quickly changed to cool, brisk afternoons which made running 70 minutes of hills much more bearable--nay--enjoyable.

Then came the races themselves. Set against a brilliant backdrop of red, orange, and yellow, the meets were both exciting and familiar. Exciting because you never knew where your legs would--or wouldn't--take you that day. (At least that's my definition of "exciting." You?)
Familiar because there was always the coolness and the colorfulness by your side.

My falls at SU came with significant bruises, and were mostly due to drinking.
Just kidding.
My falls at SU came both with and without running, mostly due to knee injuries, impairments and issues. But Central NY provided an awesome substitute for the glory days of Carlisle XC with its most beautiful trees and many an apple festival.
Probably too many an apple festival, now that I think about it.
The point is, I had to mentally and emotionally separate fall from running, which was tough, but, like most college 'experiences,' it is something I wouldn't trade for the whole wide world and for which I am now a better person who can share my experience with, and provide support for, others who are also going through this difficult challenge related to knees, autumn, running and apples.
I am here for you.

Since healthily separating fall from running, I have come to love its other above-mentioned American adornments: football, pumpkin-based foodstuffs, and...well, call me a party pooper, but you'd still be hard pressed to find me wearing a turtleneck. But I can say with unwavering confidence that autumn has slowly made its way to the top of my favorite-seasons list.

Well, if I was on the east coast.

misc. wednesday

2006-11-01T12:46:00.000-05:00

---Today is the official one-year anniversary of me, Karen, and Leigh living in San Francisco (pictured below on lease-signing day 2005.) Holla!

---On a related note, it's also the 251st anniversary of the Lisbon earthquake and tsunami.

---Yesterday's Project Read session went very well. Mohammed has now officially completed the phonics chapters for the letters 'A' and 'U' and has a box of handmade flash cards to show for it. This means he's mastered most three-letter words containing those vowels in the middle, such as bat, jab, and mug. Along the way he's accidentally mastered a few four-letter words, but those weren't through my teaching. Well, most of them. I'm just really proud of the guy; six months ago he swallowed his 33-year-old pride and came to the program at a zero-literacy level. Now he can read more than one hundred words and figure out even more on his own. Yeah, buddy!

---Blogger Beta is for some reason not allowing me my typical double-space between sections, hence the triple-hypen denotation.

---I'm really into this Forum episode right now; professor Richard Dawkins of Oxford U. is in studio talking about why religion is delusional. It's a very interesting viewpoint, and is one of those which really makes me think about all of the religious people I know. It doesn't make me think they're "stupid" because that would mean that I agree with Mr. Dawkins and am taking it one step further into some sort of judgment. But if, for the sake of thinking, I did agree with Mr. Dawkins, would that mean that I would have to consider all of these folks "stupid?" How could you share his viewpoint and not live cynically in our widely-religious world?

---I've decided that I will continue to use commas the way I was first taught, which is to put one before the conjunction in a series ("eats, shoots, and leaves" instead of "eats, shoots and leaves") There has been some nonsensical talk in the grammar world of removing this stalwart of syntax, but that's just ridiculous to me.

---Here are what I consider two of the most wittily-written phrases in modern popular culture:

1) "That's the statement of the great mint in Doublemint Gum."

-Wrigley commercial, ca. 1995.

2) "I don't know how you do the voodoo that you do so well. It's a spell, hell...makes me wanna shoop, shoop, shoop."

-Salt 'N' Pepa, Shoop (Very Necessary), 1993

---I'd like to congratulate my friend Ren on getting her graphic-design/intelligence dream job at the CIA. Your New Hampshire hermitage paid off and I'm so happy for you, girlin!

the ghosts of halloween: past, present and future

2006-10-31T13:11:00.000-05:00

Today is Halloween, yay. In what will be a few posts about my evolving relationship with autumn, today I will explain that of me and Halloween:

When I was a kid, Halloween never became for me what Seinfeld once referred to as "every child's dream to get candy." Don't get me wrong; I loved candy and I had dreams...but growing up in Germany on American bases, I didn't feel this universal/cultural push to dress up over the whole thing.
I mean, I did dress up and I was glad that in the end I got a big pumpkin head full of the stuff for doing it, but I really didn't get excited about it like I did for Christmas or, say, Veterans Day.

Living back in the States where Halloween hit the grocery shelves in August, I tried to wonder what I was going to "be," but could never, for the life of me, come up with what I considered a good costume. I didn't really think any superheroes--from the more-traditional Superman to the then-popular TMNT (Heroes in a Halfshell)--were that worthy, nor the likes of princesses or witches (which, in my opinion, were the same thing anyway.) And I was sick of being an "army man," and so was my dad.
Thankfully I had motivated friends and was able to annex myself to their themes--cowgirls and such.

High-school cross country provided a relief for what had then become an actual Halloween aversion/phobia, no irony intended. We'd usually have an important race the following day and that gave me an excuse to stay at home, eat pasta, and watch Absolutely Fabulous reruns on Comedy Central. Either that or I could usually make some "clever" play on my uniform: Zombie Cross-Country Runner, Fat Cross-Country Runner, etc.
My senior year, however, I felt I owed it to the class of 1999 to put some effort into my presence at our Annual Spooky Ball and decided on a bumble bee because I could try to be cute while also looking like I gave a crap. What happened, though, is that my then-boyfriend and I broke up a week before and I just ended up looking like the girl from the Blind Melon music video while Andrew danced with his new love, Schuyler Reese.
She was a synchronized swimmer.

I warmed up to Halloween in college, which can initially be credited to the addition of beer. I also had matured artistically, and came up with some good ideas, one of which actually won me a $50 beer tab, completing the metaphysical cycle which had brought me to such creative heights in the first place. What was this inventive idea, you might -or might not- ask? A tree.
I came in second only to a swarm of Hooters Girls.

Since then I've had some peaks and valleys in my All-Hallows landscape; Margot Tenenbaum and Brownie #3 of Girl Scout Troop 826, to name a few. Last year I was off the Halloween hook since I was runnnnnning a marathon the next day. But all in all, I've come to embrace this silly day as an opportunity rather than avoid it as a big pain in the ass.

This year's plans, you might -or might not- ask? Well, it was a toss up between joining my roommates as Snakes on a Plane or my girlfriend as St. Pauli girl (her) and Sam Adams (me). Given my evolved appreciation for Halloween (as well as its intoxicant-inspired origins), I went with the beer-themed choice...which proved seredipitously successful when I came across a gallon-sized pewter beer mug while shopping for the rest of my costume at the thrift store. Granted, without this prominent prop I kinda look like Beethoven, but still...

It is on this note that I leave all (three) of you readers with Happy Halloween wishes and the following now-cliche, yet always-brilliant, quintessential American Halloween passage:

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more."

Or is it?

happy tuesday!

2006-10-24T12:16:00.000-05:00

I just can't seem to get enough of this clip:

weekend edition: Li Wu

2006-10-17T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's Tuesday and, yes, the weekend's update is now two days old, but still. I'm going to go ahead and tell you about it...or at least the cool part.

For a few months I've been chatting occasionally with Li, the evening janitor at KQED. She's a 55-year-old Chinese immigrant from Guangdong Province who speaks very little English but who is always so friendly when she comes around that, despite the language barrier challenge, at a certain point I couldn't help but get to know her. (I should state here for the 'record' that I'm not usually someone who shies away from getting to know someone -and I've never once seen her as any different than my other co-workers just because she's a janitor- but the nature of her job is "in-and-out," and that's made it difficult to have any lengthy exchange.)

I wanted to know what her home is like, how frequently she gets to go back, how she is finding the U.S., whether or not she has a lot of family here, and, most importantly, if maybe one day I could have the privilege of joining her on her weekend trip to San Francisco's Chinatown so I could finally know what all that weird dried stuff in those bins is and how the heck you use them for cooking.

So we made a plan: October 14th. Every week since early September we'd remind one another that we had a 'date' for Saturday, October 14th. Plans began finalizing with the exchange of phone numbers (and when I broke her phone trying to enter my number and then had to try to explain that I didn't actually 'break' it; that you just have to take out the battery); the rudimentary map to my house that I drew since she offered me a ride; the Sharpy-ing of our big day into my day planner.

The date approached quicky and in the meantime I had rounded up some peeps to join me. After about ten phone calls that morning, Li found her way to our place and we got in her car and right as I was about to introduce everyone, I laughed out loud at the linguistic ridiculousness that was about to transpire:

"Li, this is Leah. Leah, this is Li."
"Li, this is Leigh. Leigh, this is Li."
"Li, this is Jeffrey. Jeffrey, this is Li."

Li: "O-K. ...Lee-ah. ...Lee. (points to herself)...Lee. ...Em-ah-lee. ...Jeff-lee."

Once we all were able to stop laughing at the irony of Jefflee, we made our way through the city to Chinatown.

She was an awesome guide and took into some stores I probably wouldn't have even known to visit. She told us all about the dried sea cucumbers and black fungus...and why we should eat them. And how.
She told me not to buy that wok because, at $12.99, it was way overpriced.
She took us to an amazing restaurant and ordered us our own personal buffet of Dim Sum.
She expanded our horizons.

I've been to Chinatown many times, but it wasn't until this time that I had actually been to Chinatown. Thank you, Li.

bob thompson

2006-09-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I randomly remembered Bob Thompson right here or right now, but I did. As one of my top-3 favorite professors (I can't leave out Steve Davis or Peggy Thompson), I felt lucky to have had the chance to talk, study and learn from him. So I Googled him today and found this great article from Salon, written a few years ago.

keith urban plucks at urban heartstrings

2006-09-06T15:31:00.000-05:00

OK so this time last week I mentioned my infatuation with the latest hip-pop, but by the end of the week (thanks to iTunes radio) I had worked my way over to what might be the opposite genre: Country.

(Now I'm by no means a music critic or pop-culture analyst so if you're one of those people who are--or who at least steep yourself in the literary waters of Rolling Stone and the like--then you may find this posting either A) obvious, B) cliche, or 3) both.)

I've always been a tepid off-again/on-again fan of Country music, even though bluegrass grazes the pasture of my CD collection (huge AKUS fan over here) and Ropin' the Wind was one of the first CDs I ever owned. Sure, I'd get passively sprinkled with the other stars thanks to my high school friends, or I'd occasionally turn the radio dial on a leg of a cross-country drive thanks to the boredom that is Nebraska. But other than that...I can't say I've ever been a Country music 'fan.'

Well, until the past few weeks.

Who knew how clever this stuff was??
For example Jo Dee Messina's "Heads Carolina, Tails California" suggests:
I've got people in Boston/Ain't your daddy still in Des Moines
We can pack up tomorrow/Tonight let's flip a coin
Heads: Carolina, Tails: California
Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer
Up in the mountains, down by the ocean
Where it don't matter; as long as we're going
Somewhere together/I've got a quarter...
Heads: Carolina, Tails: California.

Or Tim McGraw's "Something Like That" laments:
I had a barbeque stain on my white T-shirt/
She was killing me in that mini skirt/
Skipping rocks on the river by the railroad tracks.
She had a suntan line and red lipstick/
I worked so hard for that first kiss/
A heart don't forget something like that.

Yes, it's simple...but somehow literarily-brilliant. These stories are touching and I would argue that they can resound within even the coldest cynic's heart.
Ambition of moving forward in life.
Freedom of the road.
A special, yet sheepishly-embarassing, interaction with your first heartthrob.
This is the stuff of most American comings-of-age, and technically applies to thugs, nerds, rednecks, preps, and all 'races' alike, regardless of whether they were actually skipping rocks on the river by the railroad tracks.

Now enter Keith Urban. His song, "Better Life," is a simple call for providing the best for you and your main squeeze, and can easily win over hearts single and married alike, indie hipster or gangsta apart. This song is especially applicable to myself and what I would consider my urban peers. The video, obviously set in a city, shows the sweet, albeit watered-down story of young love:

Bad video aside (I recommend just listening), can you really tell me you weren't a least a little "into" this song? Regardless of where you're at, I think we all recognize, perhaps unlike our parents and quite possibly with the advantage of social awareness, how important a good relationship is. Indeed, we are more aware of (or are trying to be) ourselves and our needs than any other generation, and this translates to a sometimes-complicated, sometimes-effortless dedication to finding a good companion. Why do you think so many mid-30-year-olds are still single? It's simply not worth it to hunker down with the wrong person. I'd say that Urban's song even resonates with single-for-lifers. They don't want it for themselves, but they recognize its importance and hope their friends have the good relationships they deserve.

Take that appreciation of a good relationship and add to it the undeniable desire to ensure a happy and 'better life' for you and your boo--even if it's already 'good'--and this country song is pretty much a musical formula for success with me and my peers.

Cheesily, I'm sold.

WTF thursday

2006-08-31T13:42:00.000-05:00

Welcome to what probably will be just another short-lived/failed attempt at a weekly posting..."WTF thursday." As you may have noticed, the only regular posting I make is "misc. wednesday," and even that has become "sort of" irregular.

So I'm going to try, every Thursday, to come up with some things that I think warrant my generation's version of "gee williker!"

Here goes...but don't hold your breath.

OK, hold your breath.

Well, actually I don't care what you do.

-When I was growing up my dad was deployed. A lot. So when I saw THIS in the news today, I finally realized why today, at 25, I'm still coping with the emotional-distance issues between me and him. Seriously, if only I had a flat daddy growing up, I could have had many more of those intimate father-daughter conversations that make most of my peers so close to their dads. I feel gypped.

-I still haven't heard from Jeopardy!

-Who knew that turning your back to fill out some paperwork would result in the death of hundreds of people?

-So long, Gutenberg: Our generation's version of the printing press.

misc. wednesday

2006-08-30T16:13:00.000-05:00

-All of my U.S.-residing life I have listened (at first, reluctantly and later, enthusiastically) to NPR. Many of you know that at more than one point in my life, I may have been an unhealthily-avid listener. But for some reason, now that I work at one of the country's pivotal NPR stations, I have pretty much zero desire to tune in (or, rather, push this button on my desk telephone that lets us listen). Additionally, the lack of a driving commute and at-home stereo prevents me from listening to two of my favorite shows: Morning Edition and All Things Considered. So while my occupational life is steeped in all-things-public radio (do you know how many times I have to email NPR or PRI or American Public Media on a weekly basis because they can't write clear program information?? They should be ashamed of themselves), I have been missing that feeling of excitement-through-listening for a few months now....and I don't know how I feel about it.

-On a related note, I am absolutely addicted to Hot108Jamz on iTunes Radio. I think I've heard Chamillionaire's "Ridin'" ("they see me rollin'/they hatin'/patrollin' they trynna catch me ridin' dirty) three times already today.

-I am finally facing what was previously only the potential situation of frequently running into my ex-girlfriend. Nicole is from the Bay Area and has been living back here only a few months since after I made the move myself. In my mind there are no "territories," but then again, I am semi-naive about that kind of thing...which doesn't work when there might be potential for the other person to go territorial on you. And having a current girlfriend who I love very much, Leah, but also Nicole now living only a few streets away and being tangentially...tangent...to the social scene I find myself in, well...it's definitely an interesting tightrope to now be walking and a list of priorities to potentially have to soon be making. For now I am trying to just be my normal, naive self and have fun with the people I like. But I sense that the real world will soon descend upon my pollyanna ass.

-Diamonds on my neck, diamonds on my grill.

-I guess I should release a thought that has been weighing on my mind for more than a month now, and which I can hardly contain sometimes during my current workday: I really, really want to work at Google. (I've had a phone interview so far).
Google, if you're out there because you got this blog address from my writing portfolio, please know that I'd be the best damn online editor you've ever brought on board.

-I recently bought my first road bike (which I previously called the ram-handle-bike-thingy). It's a classic (I guess) red Bianchi ten-speed with the shifter tabs on the down tube (that tube that goes from front to back in a diagonally-downward motion). And I LOVE it! I've only had it about a week and already I'm addicted. It opens up so much of San Francisco for exercising...or even just cruisin' around. As a runner, I could only make it so far before my knees decided they were, in fact, 70 years old, and I would have to turn around. But now I can actually go all throughout the Golden Gate Park, down to the ocean, up to the bay, over the GG Bridge and up the Marin Headlands, or even around the East Bay hills. It's great!

-I also joined the Y. I love the Y....there's something about little kids and senior citizens alike accompanying you in your quest for physical fitness that makes it so much better than Gold's Gym. Especially getting out of the pool because one of these groups made a poop.
Just kidding...that doesn't happen at the Embarcadero Y.

-'Member last year how you helped me to raise all that money and I ran that marathon? Well my good friend Christine is doing the same thing this year...and if you have a spare ten or twomp, send it her way via (that's Spanish [and Latin] for "way"):
http://www.active.com/donate/tntnca04/LeMieux Even though I already think you're pretty cool, I'll think you're .09% cooler if you gave her some moolah.

whoa

2006-08-15T13:13:00.000-05:00

Well that was a long hiatus! Blogging is so...weird. I used to have a bagillion things to say about a bagillion things, and now I feel as though I don't. It's not that I don't have the same amount of musings or cerebral stimuli, but I must be getting it all out in my daily life rather than finding respite here at Blogger.

While I'm hesitant to make this post a mere 'update,' I'm sure all you readers (OK, reader) out there might want to know what the heck I've been up to since whenever it was I last wrote. Or maybe you don't. But that's the beauty of a blog.

This summer was pretty awesome. I went back east for two weeks, once again fulfilling role of daughter, granddaughter, cousin and niece. Oh, and bridesmaid. My cousin Katie got hitched to her new husband Andrew. It was a beautiful, southern wedding replete with multiple luncheons, bruncheons, receptions, rehearsals and Edenton, NC history. It was also the first time my mom and dad were both happily present at a family function since their seperation a few years ago...and, not that things had ever NOT been amicable between them, but this time they seemed very liberated. It was really nice to see them that way.

The rest of my trip involved some home time in Carlisle, another wedding in Syracuse, visiting Leah's hometown of Brookline/Boston, and spending the Fourth of July in our nation's capital. Needless to say, when I turned the rental car in at 2200 miles, I realized I had done what I set out to do.

Being back in SF the rest of the "summer," I've really been moved to search for a new job. I know it's important to stay somewhere for at least a year, but what to do when you have A) gotten your own job down to a "T" and B) know there's little room to "move up" at your company? And I've tried figuring out ways to help and collaborate more with my coworkers, but things move really slowly around here and people are hesitant to make changes. I feel that, at this point in my young career, I need to find an innovative place where there's a symbiotic relationship: I am challenged, engaged and therefore thriving, and the result of that contributes greatly to the company itself with the kick-back being more challenges and engagement.
It's in this way that I know I'm a good worker...I just haven't found my employer-counterpart. Maybe this is slightly idealistic, but even so, that's what I'm going after. Oh, and a writing/web-heavy job would be nice since, well, that's what I'm best at.

But it's all good. If we've talked on the phone lately you might be sick of hearing me say that I am absolutely in love with San Francisco. This city is full of so many beautiful things and awesome people; even a simple walk to a friend's house has at least one amazing view and a smile from a stranger.

Dear lord...I should probably go now on account of somehow being remarkably cheesy today. But I don't anticipate such long breaks between postings, so be sure to check in again soon. I promise I'll write something sarcastic.

bay to breakers

2006-05-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

Boston has the marathon, yes this is true, and I've heard all about the crazy time that day entails. But after yesterday, I'm pretty sure that San Francisco's Bay to Breakers 12k Run takes the cake when it comes to America's No. 1 street party.

Sunday morning rolled around and upon waking up at 6:30 I was having second thoughts. Even though I was registered and everything, first glance out the window looked ominous (it seemed on the verge of raining), I was warm and comfy in bed, and so going out to run 7 miles just didn't seem that palatable. I went into Karen's room and we agreed not to go.

Ten minutes later I hear someone knocking about the apartment so I get up and it's Karen, all showered and eating breakfast. "I think we should go," she said over some porridge, her hair wrapped in a towel.

"Me too."

Done. We got into our running clothes and headed towards BART where we sat alongside other runners, pirates, a giant chicken, and someone dressed up like a Muslim lady drinking a latte with a straw threw her burqa. We got off BART at The Embarcadero, greeted by tens of thousands of the other participants. One look down the wide boulevard yielded crazy people, naked people, floats, kegs, hooting, costumes...oh, and the sky was filled with flying corn tortillas.
FILLED with flying corn tortillas.
Karen and I looked at each other with that unwritten gleam that meant, "Holy shit! We're really glad we got out of bed for this!"

We crossed the start line and it's probably no surprise that someone had to pee, and that someone was NOT Karen. Of course, we had passed a row of port-o-potties like 2 minutes ago. But there's no turning around at Bay to Breakers; there's just too much fun stuff always ahead.
So we decided to hop into a bar so I could go...and of course, that became the secondary reason for being at the bar. We downed a pint and headed back out there.
Time? 8:15am.

And by 11 we had been treated to numerous free jello shots (some with whipped cream!), a dance party, beer from a giant red Smurf mushroom hut, another dance party, an old man's wrinkly penis, a ski shot (shot glasses attached to a ski--a group activity), people holding signs of lists of stuff that "God hates" (including, apparently, fun), the world's smallest penis (I swear to God), a marching band, balloons, beads, a lot of stuff I can't remember and...another dance party. We literally couldn't believe it wasn't even noon yet, and at the same time literally impressed that we had even made it 4 miles. (To our credit, we insisted that any sort of forward motion must be "on the jog.")

We eventually met up with the whole gang and preceded to set up camp somewhere in Golden Gate Park (the exact location of which escapes me) where, well, lots of stuff happened, none of which can be best described on a silly blog. Let's just say it seemed that the entire city of San Francisco thought making out in "the woods" was a good idea.

By 2pm things were winding down as a whole and the course had been closed; it started drizzling and most people decided to head home.
But not the ladies of 3646! Karen, Leigh and I decided it just wasn't "right" not to finish the run...what with how far we'd come and all. We said goodbye to the crew and headed, on the jog, to the Pacific Ocean.

Drunk, delirious, and down-right dirty we made it to the beach--the literal edge of America--and hopped in the frigid water, celebrating all we had accomplished. We washed our spirits clean and baptised ourselves in the merry attitude of California, finding joy in every thought and so thankful to be in a place where...

Then the beach police made us get out. In hindsight, I suppose it just wasn't "safe" for us to, well, be playing around in the freezing cold ocean drunk.

That was this year. Who's down for next??

finally, an answer?

2006-05-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

Growing up moving every 2 years has always made it hard for me to answer the normally-easy question, "So, where are you from?"

But after this survey, I think it's pretty darn clear:

"You know you're from Pennsylvania if:
-You refer to Philadelphia as only "Philly."
-You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-ay).
-The first day of buck and the first day of doe season have always been school holidays in your town.
-You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
-At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long.
-You know what a "Hex sign" is.
-You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart or beer at the grocery.
-It wouldn't be weird if you owned only three condiments: salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup.
-Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "red-up", "pierogies" actually mean something to you.
-At least five of your friends' last names end in "-baugh" or "-berry."
-You've not only heard of Birch Beer, but know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.
-You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), Ring Bologna and Hot Bacon Dressing.
-You know the difference between a cheese steak & pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
-You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
-You know what Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are.
-You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
-You identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
-You know that a traffic jam in Lancaster is ten cars waiting to pass an Amish buggy on the highway.
-You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
-"Yous guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
-You know how to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Monongahela, and Susquehanna
-You actually understand these questions and are you sending them on to other Pennsylvanians.

miscellaneous...thursday?

2006-05-04T16:49:00.000-05:00

Here are the big updates in my life:

-I got a new cell phone. No, not a new number. Just a new phone.

-I am working on a life-plan map chart.

-Brad came to visit last weekend and we had a great time. We played tennis, went to a Giants' game, laughed, went to Zeitgeist, saw a movie, went to the Secret Beach (where, accidentally, there were about 100 naked gay men lying around with their asses sticking up in the air. Sorry, Brad!), laughed, drank bloody marys.

-I am obsessed with tennis.

-Mohommed has almost got his vowels down pat.

-Spring lacrosse coaching is done.

-I changed my sheets to spring linens.

-Zacarias Moussaoui got a life sentence and oil prices continue to skyrocket.

Here are other miscellaneous things:

-This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life.

Ok, it was just one.

Sorry I haven't blogged as much lately!

is the golden rule ridiculous?

2006-04-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

The Golden Rule sucks. No, for realsies.
Sometimes it just gets the best of me.

Not that I'm some angel of niceness, but unfortunately I was bestowed with an awareness of how to lend a helping hand to--or to be thoughtful for/mindful of--others, most of the time. And so I find it difficult sometimes to deal when I'm confronted with others' inability to do the same.

I know, I know.
This seems like a silly thing to get frustrated about, and perhaps a smidgen contradictory to the underlying premise of the golden rule (which I will now de-capitalize out of disdain)--which is to simply do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.
No strings attached, right?

Well, psychologically I think it is impossible to do good without a nano-percentage of that being "for you." Even if it's the feeling of gladness for doing that thing, helping that person, or saving those whales, you still got gladness in return. So, admittedly, actions of good have personal rewards.
I don't think, however, that that necessarily affects the sincerity of the action(s), nor does it make them selfish.

On top of that inherent 'goodness,' I can't say I don't want a taste more in return...say, understanding. To be more specific, it's nice when people don't act like your requests are ridiculous.
For starters, do you really think I'd ask something "ridiculous"?? If so, why? And what is ridiculous, anyway?
Also, don't you think that if I am asking such things, that I would be OK with a similar request from you?
Get off of your fucking high-horse about things and try to see why I might even think to ask you...or suggest to you...or request...or say...whatever it is that you've deemed "ridiculous."

And so I hate the golden rule. Sometimes.

Maybe I just hate when people are so quick to label me/things about me as "ridiculous."
If you're actually being serious, then to me that's the ultimately most-uncompassionate thing you could ever say to me.

misc. wednesday

2006-04-05T16:11:00.000-05:00

-I feel like the only real blog posts I do anymore are misc. wednesdays...I wish I had more in me than that.

-Today on my lunch break I went to Old Navy (yeah, there's a shopping "complex" near my work. mer bear would be jealous. I shouldn't tell her there's also a ROSS.) I bought myself a pair of bermuda shorts (I might go there some day, so I thought I'd be prepared) and a self-proclaimed "sun-kissed polo." I mostly sat in the dressing room laughing to myself at the sun-kissed polo tag. When the hell did polo shirts need to be sun-kissed, and who thought of that anyway?? It conjures up a fresh field of polo shirts blowing in the breeze, bees buzzing around the collars trying to pollinate in vain, and small asthmatic blonde children sneezing their small asthmatic blonde-children sneezes. I mean, is this the next step in the evolution of clothing nomenclature, begun by those wizards over at J. Crew who invented another color spectrum, the likes of which include "mariposa" and "creme fraiche-nougat balsa"? Even L.L.Bean ca. 1993 seems ghetto with polo-shirt lines such as "sun-kissed."
Sure is soft though!

-Speaking of marketing gimmicks, another thing I noticed was the lotion industry's obsession with both Scandinavia and/or Switzerland, which begs the question: Are the Nords really better at lotion-making than, say, Africans? And at which point did we all start accepting this as truth?
St. Ives boasts "original Swiss formula" and includes one special "whipped silk" in its product line, which claims the ancient power of...moisturizing?. Neutrogena has a navy-and-red-schemed design on a field of pure white decking out its straight-forward, no-nonsene, super-efficient-and-humorless bottle for its "Norwegian Formula" ('DRY-ROUGH SKIN ONLY!!!). Then there are all the wittle generic bwands on the far ends, meekly waving paper versions of their Aryan counterparts' national flags. "Compare to Neutrogena!" and "Same Active Ingredients As St. Ives!" they shout at the top of their water-logged lungs. But they're not fooling anybody except...well, mayhaps a few deal-sniffers or coupon-clippers.
Personally, I went for the Neutrogena.

-I once knew a man from Nantucket.

-R.I.P.: Carlisle HS German class's annual gingerbread-house-for-a-whole-month building. 1990-2006.
I guess the administration finally figured out that spending the whole month of December having students build a gingerbread house "just because it's kinda German-ish" wasn't the best use of time. Es tut mir leid, Frau Dete.

-Best pick up line ever, by Lizzy Wilmarth: "So. Slavery. How fucked up was that??"

-I'm gonna have to go ahead and say my favorite animal is the gibbon.

-What are you people doing this weekend?

-Today's Compare and Contrast: immigration debate and taxes
The ongoing immigration debate is interesting; taxes are boring.

I need a drink

2006-03-28T14:00:00.000-05:00

emily meehan's latest installment of "Act One" in the wall street j

somehow, my point about having a budget came across more as me having a drinking problem.

misc. wednesday

2006-03-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

-Went to Belle and Sebastian last night. I had great company, it was a great show and they are one of my favorite bands, but I must say that, save those of independent hip-hop or music festivals (OK, OK, or Indigo Girls), I'm a tad over concerts in general. They are fun and it has nothing to do with the music, but sometimes it's weird to just stand there and watch the people perform. I like going to concerts and hanging out, but it gets odd when you can't really do that because the venue or crowd mood and you're just kind of standing there watching from a distance a band that is playing pretty much the exact stuff on their albums. With the hip-hop, the bluegrass, the music festivals, (and the Indigo Girls), there is usually improvisation and crowd engagement/dancing. But especially the indie rock I've noticed, it's a hilarious bunch of indie hipsters standing like statues facing forward, kind of swaying. Cracks me up.

-Song Du Jour: No More Drama by Mary J
"It feels so good/when you let go of all the drama in your life/Now you're free from all the pain, free from all the games/free from all the stress/to find your happiness."

-Started coaching lacrosse at Mercy HS. It’s so interesting to see how new the sport is out here on the west coast, but how enthusiastic kids are to learn it despite the fact that it was never one of those sports they grew up with, like soccer or softball. The girls are so excited to learn even though they've lost their first few games and keep getting called for rules they don't know yet. I'm looking forward to their progress.

-Also finishing up training this week for ProjectRead, the adult literacy program at the SF library. I really can't believe how many adults out there can't read or write, and, even more interesting, how they got to that point. Some just fell through the cracks and made it through the school system--diploma and all--but can't read above second grade. Others never got to go to school past third or fourth grade because of family problems or moving. Whatever the reason, they've decided to get help, which is where PR comes in. We work with the learners as their learning partner to get them to where they want to be. That could be as simple as wanting to know enough just to fill out a job application, or as long of a journey as getting to college.
Just in the training, which has been a few weeks, 6 hours a week, we've learned so much ourselves. From how and why the learners are where they are, to how we fit in to getting them to achieve their goals, to seeing how complex reading and writing actually is when taken in the context of someone who can't. I've learned that there are a million things I take for granted everytime I read something as simple as a menu or write an email. Good stuff.

-Congratulations to Brad who got into a lot of his top choice of grad schools, including Yale and the Fletcher School at Tufts.

-I was talking to my friend Molly from home yesterday and she's been back there for about a month just chillin' as a Carlisle townie for a bit. She was telling me all about her townie life and how she hangs out with some guys from our high school class--they were never 'best friends' or 'not friends'--just friends. She said her and one of them "go on bike rides." I was laughing out loud because only in Carlisle would two people who happen to be there at the same time start hanging out regularly and go on bike rides through the country.
I can't say I don't miss it:)

-When two people created between them, over the years and perhaps unknowingly, a crappy, unhealthy and untrusting relationship, it is really hard for them each to get to the point where each of them is comfortable and wants to establish a friendship. There is no fault; it just happened that way. To some, it might be 'sad' that it is that way, but that is not the way I see it. I see it as a huge learning experience that couldn't really have happened either way. In exchange for the heaps of personal lessons gained, a friendship may have been sacrificed. A friendship is carefree, loving and fun. I feel none of these things. At least not yet.

-Today's Compare and Contrast: Apples and Oranges
Apples are either red, green, yellow or a combination of the three. Oranges are orange or red, and can also be a combination of both. Apples can be sweet, tart, or both at the same time. Oranges can claim the same flavor spectrum. Apples and Oranges are both juicy and have seeds and stems, but Apples have cores, which Oranges don't. I've never come across a mealy Orange though. Both have peels, but it is easier to remove an Orange peel than that of an Apple.
Underpaid Central-American migrant workers usually pick both, sometimes within the same year.

um, yeah...not so much.

2006-03-17T12:25:00.000-05:00

That was one of the worst basketball games I've ever seen in my life.

And I only got to see the last five minutes.

I'm sorta torn between my loyalty to Syracuse and completely dissing them for one of the --if not THE-- most pitiful and lame performances in their entire history.

Moving on, though...

Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

my bracket

2006-03-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

Atlanta:
First Round:
Duke
George Wash.
CUSE
LSU
West Virginia
Iowa
Cal
Texas
Oakland:
Memphis
Bucknell
Pitt
Kansas
SDSU
Gonzaga
Marquette
UCLA
D.C.:
UConn
UAB
Utah
Illinois
Mich. State
UNC
Seton Hall
Minneapolis:
Tenn.
Nova
Wisconsin
Nevada
BC
Wisc-Mil
Florida
Georgetown
Ohio

Sweet Sixteen:
Duke
CUSE
Iowa
Texas
Memphis
Kansas
Gonzaga
UCLA
UConn
Illinois
UNC
Tenn.
Nova
BC
Florida
Georgetown

Elite Eight:
CUSE
Texas
Kansas
UCLA
UConn
UNC
Nova
Florida

Final Four:
CUSE
Kansas
UConn
Nova

Final Game:
CUSE
UConn

Syracuse wins 86-84

your input

2006-03-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

So over the next month or so I'm gonna vamp up my blog and hopefully start a podcast. Of course, this is contingent upon a lot of things, but still. It's a big fat goal I have.

Whatchoo people want? Please let me know what you think would be cool. Any suggestions welcome.

Thanksers!

just kidding, south dakotes

2006-03-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I compared you to Puritan New England, based on your recent banning of abortion. I didn't mean this as a complete insult (there were some good/fun things about Puritant NE), and I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate what you're doing out there on the prairie.

You see, our system is designed for this kind of thing. So just as I have the right (well, at least for now) to go get my uterus gutted, you have the right to try not to let me. We battle it out--exchange words and perhaps slap one another with gloves or silly-sloganed picket signs--and then we hire our best minds to take it into the courtroom for final review.
And so far, you're up.

And you know what? You just might win. We did in the 70's and...I understand the ebb and flow of victory. I mean, just three years ago the Orangemen were on their way to winning the national championship and...well, let's not talk about that right now.

The point is, you have every right to try to ban abortion. Good for you, if that's what you believe in. And if you win I guess I'd come over and shake your hand.
Of course I'd then wash mine of any responsibility for turning back the clock of modernity. But still, "Good job," I'd say. "You deserve it."

Because you'll deserve the back-alley abortions, the unwanted children, and the financial backlash and strain on your one-zip-coded system that comes along with such an antiquated law.

misc. wednesday

2006-03-08T19:07:00.000-05:00

-I think that if a relationship starts out complicated, it will exist as such.
On a related note...if it starts out easy, it will exist as just that.
And it is.

-My new favorite Mozart song is Symphony No. 40 in G Minor: Andate

-A good passage:
"Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate."
-Bernard Mickey Wrangle, aka, The Woodpecker

-The rest of that quote to follow at the appropriate time.

-The more I do sudoku, the more I can't stop doing sudoku. It's a vicious cycle, much like sudoku itself.

-Is it just me, or does the L Word completely suck this season? And the Oscar DOES NOT go to the chick that plays Moira. Are you f-ing kidding me?? Any Moira scene last week was like a horrible afterschool special.
That being said, I always look forward to the next episode with mucho delightio. My prediction is that Tina will end up with sex-changed Moira/Max because T-Bone's fiending for the magic stick. [Credit for this prediction given to my L-Word watchin' crew as a whole]

-I think I have a two-year plan. I've never had a two-year plan.
It's exciting. Inquire within.

-Ali Lee's in town...woohoo!

-Not sure if you caught Marketplace yesterday, but about 23:30 into the program they played a 10-second snippet of a song by the South African band 'Freshly Ground' related to a story on the SA clothing company Loxion Kulcha. Mmmhmm...song suggestion courtesy of yours truly and Kar-Bear Weidert!

-Today's Compare and Contrast: South Dakota and 17th-Century New England
Same.

darcy o'brien

2006-02-23T19:28:00.000-05:00

When someone so young passes her time on Earth, I think it hits every single person right smack in the heart with the fact.
That life is precious.

Even though Darcy was not my immediate friend, Colleen and her family were integral to my life since I first plopped down in Carlisle. Their steadfast and down-home hospitality, friendship, and support were unprecedented blessings after having grown up constantly on the move, and I've never lost my gratitude for how they have enriched my life.

And so I grieve hard, but simply, for the loss of Darcy.

Simply.
I simply cannot imagine how it must feel to lose your daughter.
I simply cannot imagine what is like to have your only sibling taken away from you.
And I simply cannot fathom losing your best friend, just as your adult lives were taking off and you were going in different directions with different ambitions.
Knowing that you would always have your best friends by your side--step by step--until the day was done.

And suddenly that day comes for one of you.

To Colleen, Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien, and the rest of the O'Brien family and Darcy's friends--many of whom are also my own best friends' younger sisters--
I am so, so sorry for your loss and I offer my deepest sympathy and love for you during this time.
You are in my thoughts and heart.

"And so we know we're all right;
life will come and life will go.
Still we feel it's all right
cause someone gets a letter to your soul.
When your whole life is on the tip of your tongue,
empty pages for the no longer young,
the apathy of time laughs in our face...

Each life has its place."

-IG, 'virginia woolf'

misc. wednesday

2006-02-22T16:55:00.000-05:00

-I have developed a strange affinity for english breakfast tea with sugar and cream, thanks in part to my co-worker Margarete. A regular coffee drinker, I sometimes tried my hand at teas, but usually ended up feeling like a poser.
Either that, or I would just secretly want it to be coffee the whole time.
But with the english breakfast, I feel naturally satisfied. Not like a pretentious herbal tea drinker that I sometimes "want" to be after listening to Jewel (I do not listen to Jewel! I just mean, that feeling of thinking about Jewel and how it made you want to be all cute and sensitive) or when I see the Yoga Journal in the check-out line at Whole Foods. No, english breakfast tea skips all that secret confidence/inconfidence and just...does it for me. Of course, I get an afternoon coffee anyway.
But for the morning hours, I'm refined, classy, and British.

-Anne Taintor is brilliant.

-Also brilliant:

-Go see Emily Morrison in her new play--showing for the next two weeks!

-I am addicted to Sam Cooke's greatest hits album.

-5 fun things about last weekend:
1) out-of-town visitors
2) grey's anatomy/L-word party
3) "westwood!"
4) The Maids play, starring Linnea Wilson
5) laughing for 4 days straight

-This point does not have a point.

-Today's Compare and Contrast: burritos from different places
I was recently discussing with my good friend Molly H., how if she came to visit me in SF, that she would never be able to once again eat at Taco Bell. Of course, knowing Molly H., I should have expected that she would quickly stop me dead in my pretentious-SF tracks, which she did. Tracks, I must point out, that I didn't even know I was in and still don't think are part of my overall being...but that's not the point. The point is I live in SF and I thought, for a split second, that something I know as true and good about SF is better than something outside of SF, which has historically given SF a pretentious reputation it finds hard to shake, and which also pisses off my grandmother.
She says: "T-Bell cannot be compared to other Mexican places. There are different levels of Mexican food, and one cannot compare, say, a T-Bell with a Chipotle, just as one cannot compare a Chipotle with a decent sit-down Mexican restaurant." She continues to say that to do so would be to compare "apples and oranges."
At first this seems like an admirable point--simply admitting that they are all in different leagues and thus why create a headache for yourself?
And I agree that each one 'is what it is,' and to go into a T-Bell with Papalote-like expectations would be merely foolish, if not depressing.
But one must wonder--nay, SHOULD wonder--aren't they all shooting for the same Tex-Mex moon? And if so, is it really that ridiculous to suggest that a bean burrito from one sucks, when compared to one from another?
I guess the trick is not to compare at all.
And I guess I can do that if I throw all my principles out the window, toss my beliefs aside, and settle for mediocrity.

Or just get really drunk.

misc. wednesday!

2006-02-15T17:11:00.000-05:00

-Congratulations to Ms. Leigh Carter, who today got a job. All I have to say is it's about freaking time someone hired your smart and talented ass!

-I really should work on eating more slowly. I just killed that whole thing in like 5 minutes.

-5 favorite local foods and who introduced me to them:
1) super bean & cheese burrito from Papalote (me)
2) an It's It ice cream thingy from the corner store (leah)
3) chicken wings from Capital in Chinatown (karen)
4) falafel deluxe from Truly Med (nicole)
5) the cheap beer that keeps showing up in our fridge (?)

-At the current time, I'm not affiliated with AudioLuxe. The details aren't important, but I just wanted to "announce" that, so when you hear about me volunteering/taking up new activities/etc. you don't think I'm completely crazy for doing a "billion things."

-On that note, I'm really excited about starting a second life as a volunteer. More to come, I'm sure.

-Kelli Johnson was a damn good friend; she is still missed greatly.

-I'm really enjoying this nice weather (70s & sunny), but it's weird not having to have earned it by enduring months of gray winter. Don't fuck with me, California.

-Places I want to go in the next five years:
1) Oktoberfest (beer + Germany = ja voll)
2) Hawai'i (it's so close!)
3) Anywhere in Latin America already...jeez!
4) Yosemite NP
5) grad school

-"3 Feet High and Rising" is still one of the best albums ever made.

Today's Compare and Contrast:
-I think I prefer four-tined to three-tined, forks.
Why? Well, when it comes to tines, it's all in the food-stabbing ability. Obviously the fourth tine allows for a broader bite than one with just three. That's obvious.
In addition, I find my eating is more assertive when I eat with a four-tined fork. With three, it's like, the food could just jump off the plate and eat me! That's not a way to enjoy one's dinner.
Oh yeah, and a four-tined fork makes a more muted "dook" sound if it actually finds its way to the plate without having caught any food. Which sometimes happens. Sometimes I miss the food on the plate. The last thing I need is a fork that's always pointing it out.
To three-tined fork's credit, though, at least it's better than a spork.
OK, well, a three-pronged spork.

-Mr. Cheney:
Love hurts and all, but at least Ennis didn't shoot him.

valentine's day

2006-02-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

misc. wednesday will return tomorrow, but in the meantime I just wanted to say that I just had the best Valentine's Day in my entire life...and it's only 11:30 am.

a good proverb

2006-01-27T13:18:00.000-05:00

"with money you can buy a house, but not a home.
you can buy a clock, but not time
a bed, but not sleep
a book, but not knowledge.
with money you can buy a doctor, but not good health
you can buy a position, but not respect
sex, but not love.
And you can buy entertainment, but not happiness."

misc. wednesday

2006-01-25T15:59:00.000-05:00

-I just met author Amy Tan and brought her to Studio A. On the way up from the lobby, she told me all about her new orthopaedic shoes, which looked like lunch-lady shoes with one big spring as the heel.

-After giving it a lot of thought, I would have Kraft Spirals 'N' Cheese and a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice as my last meal.

-The world is celebrating Mozart's 250th birthday this week, and suddenly he's all popular and crap. All I can say is...who had THEIR favorite part of Sonata for Piano No. 11 in A Major-Rondo Alla Turca: Allegretto this time one year ago?

-Yeah, that's right.

-

-I think "the Epic of Gilgamesh" is more important to read now than it ever was. I mean, it's the first written story in human history and is from the Middle East.

-I have a new girl in my life. Her name's Leah and all I can really say is that she is completely awesome.

-Although they smell quite similar, I think I prefer Bath & Body Works' Coconut Verbena Lime body lotion over their Rich Citrus Cream. Why? Well, for starters, the word "verbena" is fun to say...even in one's head. I mean, mostly just in one's (ok, 'my') head because it's not like I talk a lot about these kinds of things out loud.
Secondly, the coconut offers a beach-ful and buttery quality unmatched by simply adding a "cream" chemical to the 'rich citrus' make-up of Rich Citrus Cream.
Additionally, I find the focus just on lime to be theoretically more classy than simply bunching all of the citrus fruits together, as if they aren't individuals. Essentially, if you treat them all the same, that's how they'll end up.
In conclusion...whereas Coconut Verbena Lime is a more-focused and deliberately-scented product, I find Rich Citrus Cream to be simply a haphazard and lazy afterthought of a body lotion.
Good thing they were two-for-one.

public radio and me

2006-01-23T13:59:00.000-05:00

OK so as far back as I can remember...or atleast since my family returned to the states in '93...family car trips meant two things: my brother and I fighting over the arm rest, and public radio.

Ten years later, I've gotten over the arm rest thing, for the most part. Despite its convenient placement for a road-weary head (when pulled out slightly upright) or just a practical wall between you and the Scum of the Earth As You Know It (one's younger brother), I can actually say with confidence that I'm at peace with arm rests.
But if you know me, I'm far far away from being, in any sort of way, over public radio.
As of today, this 23rd day of January 2006 A.D., my career in public radio officially begins at KQED, Inc.

I can't really describe--especially on this silly blog--how good this feels. To be dramatic, I feel like I've been working my entire life for this to happen. Let me explain...

It all started, as I said, on family car trips. My parents would constantly scan the air waves for the local NPR station--easy to find on the lower half of the dial and marked by boring classical music and interrupted by the even-more-boring news.
I would literally stare out the window, envious of roadkill, and complain that "we already heard this."

I don't really know when it was that I realized I had it better than the roadkill and that this "NPR" stuff was actually interesting, but I did.
Throughout high school, I found an outlet for my explanatory tendencies (at one point, I had a very bad 'explaining habit') and love for putting stories together, at Herd TV--Carlisle HS's weekly student-run, school district news program. While most of my classmates were in Herd TV for the freedom (we were able to leave school to 'go out on assignment'--which usually meant going to Sheetz for a Schmuffinz or Rita's for a Mist-O shake), I was there for the thrill of the deadline!
The late-breaking news about Lamberton's MS's latest art project!
The intriguing way in which Cumberland County ran its waste-water treatment plant!
And Mooreland Elementary School's steel-drum concert!
Whoa!

In college I was a news slut, majoring in BJ. While we learned the 'commercial' way of doing news, I was the dork asking my professors if I could please do a 5-minute piece on gay adoption.
Please?
OK.
And while most of my classmates thought of Radio News Reporting (RTN345) as an annoying step toward our year of TV, I briefly mourned the passing from audio to video.
I say briefly because, quite frankly, who doesn't want to be on camera every week? But I knew in my heart that was all just fun and games and that the real stuff of life can be collected by microphone only.

This isn't to say I hold any disdain for TV peeps, nor my commercial news-minded counterparts; in the end, it's all part of the same waxey ball.
I guess it's just that I prefer ear wax.

So now, more than two years later, it's finally happened and it feels pretty cool.

This one might take a little longer than the arm rest thing.

misc. wednesday

2006-01-11T17:50:00.000-05:00

This misc. wednesday's theme is "why I haven't been blogging."
by Emilie Cole

-the holidays. Or is that hollydaze? I can't remember, really.

-As of now, I'm still technically a 'temporary' staff member here at KQED. They are beginning the interview process soon, so I should have some closure as to my immediate employment future in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I'm in this weird state of suspension and do not feel appropriate letting my creative juices flow. I'm not sure why this is--I guess I just need stability to be witty, funny and stuff.

-I'm over my own thoughts before I get to blog about them.

happy holidays, California style:

2005-12-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, best wishes for an environmentally- conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling and medically -uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Or, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tookie

2005-12-12T16:34:00.000-05:00

As of 26 minutes ago, Gov. Schwarzenneger denied clemency for Stanley "Tookie" Williams, which means he will be put to death by lethal injection tomorrow morning at 12:01.
One of our reporters is a media witness.

This case has been very controversial, especially here b/c San Quentin Prison is only an hour away, due to the fact that although he murdered 4 people in the '70s and started the Crips, in his 24-year incarceration he has written numerous children's book denouncing gang life and violence and has even been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. So many people, including Tookie, say that he has proven rehabilitation and should not be executed.

Here's what I think...
What say you?

Dave Eggers and me

2005-12-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

Yep.
That's right.
I just met Dave Eggers.
Met him in the lobby.
Took him to Studio D to record a piece.
Yep.

DC, or, The District of Contradiction

2005-12-01T16:15:00.000-05:00

Recently Ren said she has this thing about moving to DC in her lifetime and when I went to comment about the city on the post it made me think to write my own post on DC.
Like, duh.

Living near DC all through high school it seemed like just another big city but a big city that had "all of this important stuff there, too." I didn't know what to expect when I moved there. Well, that's a lie. I thought I was going to get a job at NPR, finally securing a paying job in public radio.
But I didn't know what to expect out of the city itself.

Going in, I had two conflicting opinions...each from friends who are very hip in an unhip way, very aware of music and pop culture, and whose views on 'what to do' I would generally trust. One was convinced DC was lame and that it 'hasn't been cool since the '80s.' The other told me it was one of her favorite places ever.**

Needless to say, DC ended up kicking some major ass and I would totally move back later in life once I get California out of my system.
And it wasn't just because they get good shows, have fun bars, have cool people, blah blah blah; those are things I could find in any city, or even a small, one-horse town, which I have done many times before. (sans the horse).

Nope, you. DC, in my opinion, was cool because:

-Unlike, ahem, San Francisco or Berkeley, DC isn't heavy on the diversity self-promotion. Like, they don't have a "We're SO Diverse, It's Fuckin' CRAZY, Man" Day. That being said, I lived in the one of the top 3 most-diverse zip codes in the whole country (20009).

-When you think of America, for whatever reason (school, history class, car commercials) you probably think of: The Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial and the Viet Nam War Memorial. If not, you're just not an American, goddammit.
JK, of course, but the point is that DC is THE quintessential symbol of the US of A. Funny thing is...it looks more like a European city than, well, most European cities. (Oh, you know...circles with fountains in the middle, neo-classical architecture on every street, bridges, rivers, etc.)
Take that, you RW&B-Tshirted rednecks!

-Despite being the nation's capital--the hub of international and domestic news and policy--I frequently forgot that that whole part was even there. Then once in a while it would strike me, like, "oh yeah! I live in the hub of international and domestic news and policy!"

-That whole taxation-without-representation thing.
In the world's center of modern democracy.

I worked in a French bistro right across from where Abraham Lincoln was shot. I saw the cherry blossoms--a gift from the Japanese earlier last century--in full bloom. I lived blocks away from every embassy from every country you could imagine, big or small.

Thing is, I've never felt more...American.

blog launch!

2005-11-22T14:36:00.000-05:00

Hello, Dear Reader.
I have decided to create a secondary blog.
It is more of a 'rant-and-rave' space than anything else.

Due to my Gemini nature, I wanted to keep all of that separate from the work I do here at emilie. In this way, I can feel a little bit of distance from my more-confident self who is able to form an actual opinion once in a while, and be able to continue functioning as the girl you are more familiar with: the one who gives equal weight to all points of view and feels guilty if she gives her two cents and, not only that, but immediately feels a change of heart and feels like she just shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but then after that realizes she's probably being too hard on herself (she's not quite sure, though) and feels glad she said something, but then recognizes it might have come out wrong (not 100%, though) and then doesn't know what to do so she just thinks of something inappropriate and laughs out loud and moves on.

I can also be judgmental there (not "mean"...just judgmental!), which is better for society as a whole because then I can just get it all out of my system instead of subjecting loved ones to my impulsive-conclusions which I sometimes mask as "honesty."
(See "Lives" at the end of this past Sunday's NYTimes magazine for more details on that concept.)

Perhaps one day I will be able to merge these two and not feel guilty about it. For now, though, it's best to keep them separate. And please realize that they both come from the same loving and compassionate heart.

Oh, and feel free to join in...it is a safe space to rant and rave about anything.
Just remember, it's mine.
So in the end, I'm always gonna be right.

Maybe.

Sorry.

Thanks.

an update

2005-11-14T15:56:00.000-05:00

So I haven't been too good at blogging for the past month or two; what with moving and all, it's been a bit hard to sit down and think of some good posts.
I'm definitely starting to feel the creative daily-life observation juices flowing once again, but in the meantime, here's a brief update.

-The XC trip went fantabulously...definitely one of the best times of my life! Karen (college friend and a current roommate) and I decided to see This Great Nation--or as much as we could fit in 10 days, and mission accomplished. Starting in her hometown of Buffalo/Niagara Falls, we headed west, staying in Chicago, Mnpls/St. Paul, the Badlands, Boulder, Moab, Grand Canyon, Death Valley, LA and finally up the coast to the City by the Bay.
You can see pictures from the trip here.
One of the conclusions I made after the trip was that we live in an awesome country.

-I'm working at KQED as web audio/on-air promotions; I put KQED's shows on our Web site and I write the announcements that the on-air guy reads about upcoming shows.
This is my day job, and so far it is kicking ass as such.

-We are making mucho progress with AudioLuxe, the non-profit radio production company I helped/am helping co-found. This weekend we went to a conference in LA on portable media and made a lot of head way; we also found out that no one else is doing what we're doing and that is a nice feeling.

Besides that, daily SF life is great. Our apartment is cheery and fun...my roommates are fellow East-coasters, so there's none of the California sissy-pants tiptoeing around feelings thing.*
The neighborhood is awesome; in the Mission but slightly up the hill and a short walk from beautiful Dolores park. And, of course, there's tons to do and discover, people to meet and things to learn, which is what generally makes life life.
Life's good--come visit anytime.

*The California sissy-pants tiptoeing around feelings thing is actually a real thing, thus worthy of note in this post. It is a weird thing, not good or bad, just weird, and can take its toll on you if you are from the more-thick-skinned parts of the country outside of California. I will probably have a post on just this topic in the near future.

and done

2005-11-03T21:05:00.000-05:00

The starting line was awesome; ahead of me a sea of jittery, colorful dots as far as the eye could see--and I was only in the first 2,000 of 30,000+ runners! After a jump-in from some airborne Marines, the gun went off and all of those moments of training, laughing, and stretching manifested themselves in this single 26.2-mile course in front of me.

And what a course! From the Pentagon alongside the Potomac, down to the Lincoln Memorial and up to my old neighborhood in Adams Morgan, back down to the Memorials, along the National Mall, around the Capitol, down around East Potomac Park and Haines Point, across the 14th Street Bridge, into Virginia around Crystal City and finishing up Arlington National Cemetary...

It's weird how one can form a relationship with the ground so quickly.
I mean, it's just a set path made up by some committee, supported by thousands of water/food station volunteers and lined with even more thousands of spectators. These are landmarks that mean different things to different people; built by ancestors, forebears, and historical societies; and seen by millions each year.
But on that Sunday they were ours. Us runners'.

The miles flew by at first. I looked down at my watch and it had already been and hour and a half...Mile 10.
My group--some similar-aged TNTers--and I were still in a relatively close group. We weren't completely together, but it was fun to keep running into each other here and there. Not really running into each other, but, you know. Har?

I swerved around the Mall, my chest pounding with patriotic excitement (I'm a sucker for American civics, people!) as I passed every major landmark of public education, information, and history we grow up learning about. Smithsonian. National Gallery. The Statue of Freedom which tops the Capitol's dome and peers down from her apex as we dilly about our policies and ideologies. I couldn't believe that I was running on Constitution Avenue for godsakes! How f-ing sweet is that??
My civic daydream was interrupted when I heard some cheers coming my way and I looked up to see a group of my friends on the sidelines, and who aptly prepared me for the dreaded and isolated Haines Point. This is a peninsula that sticks downward into the Potomac River...basically 2 miles down and 2 miles back up. It was also to be the site of an immense and debilitating pain: My 'good' knee decided to start hurting. I'm not sure why; perhaps years of being the default work horse took its toll. This must be it because I hadn't had any prior problems and I wasn't running any differently this day.

This meant that starting at mile 18 I had to jog/stretch/sometimes walk at least once per mile. This was OK, though, because the slight walk breaks refreshed certain leg muscles for the next segment of running; I think I would have had a slower time if I had tried to run straight through the next 8 miles, actually.

Miles 20-23 were the weirdest. We crossed the huge 14th Street Bridge, which was bright, dry, and sort of eerie. The finish felt like eons away, so it was a weird feeling to know we had already run 20 miles. While there was no "worst part," this was the toughest mentally. Not that I wanted to stop running the race, but there were times in this portion where I doubted my ability to finish. It was also weird to run under the big, huge highway signs. We fly by them so quickly in our cars, and it was taking forever to reach the next one in my line of vision. And I mean forever. I finally knew what that whole "wall-hitting" was referring to, and I came pretty damn close on that isolated stretch spanning the Potomac between the District and the Commonwealth.

But once that was all behind me, things definitely peaked up. I was almost at the finish line and it was kind of hard to fathom. I mean, I had been running for 3 and a half hours and in that time I experienced the same amount of emotions I do in a week--or sometimes month--and much more exaggerated for that matter. To think it was going to be over within another half hour was a unique feeling. It was at this point when another friend joined me in the run for a few minutes...definitely a nice and motivational gesture, especially her sign that read "Emilie smells really bad right now." She had expressed concern the day prior that she wasn't going to be able to keep up with me; I'm sure she was surprised to find me merely shuffling along!

And I should mention here that, yes, the "marathon shuffle" is a real thing. Some people actually train that way...I was simply reduced to a shuffle by the end, which was totally OK since that was literally the fastest I could run. It wasn't like I was pissed or frustrated to be going this slow, I was actually very accepting of the fact that I could only go this fast.

And, for the most part, it was at this pace that I made my way up the end hill and crossed the finish line at the Iwo Jima Marine Memorial Monument . My final time was 3:56 and I later found out that I was the 641st woman to finish (out of about 15,000). I didn't make Boston (sub 3:40) but that is OK. I couldn't have made Boston...like I said, I was truly at the point of running exhaustion.
First marathon aside, it is this point that is truly a "first" for me. In all my years of running, I've always had the feeling that I could have gone a little faster, a little harder. Years of competitive running will do that to you every time, and seconds can always be shaved. But it was here that for the first time I walked away knowing that I left it all out there on the course.
It's a nice feeling, and I was proud to honor my late uncle Ed -- a career Marine and leukemia victim -- with all that I could for Team in Training, his legacy, and myself.

7 Lists of 7...

2005-10-24T17:30:00.000-05:00

...Things about the 7 Days Before the Marathon

It's the last week before the race and I have tons of things on my mind. Here are some of them:

7 Things I'm Doing Differently this Week:
1. Not drinking alcohol
2. Not drinking caffeine
3. Running very little
4. Stretching in the mornings
5. Eating an egg a day
6. 'Focusing'
7. Trying to stay away from sweets

7 Gross Things about Running:
1. Bloody nipples (guys)
2. Peely, blistered feet
3. Inner thigh chafe-age (some girls)
4. Snotrockets
5. When people's deodorant gets frothy and collects in their rear armpit
6. On-site race port-o-potties
7. When people throw up at the end

7 Things I'm Thinking About:
1. My uncle Ed
2. Miles 18-22
3. The right ratio of Gatorade to water
4. Haines Point (apparently the hardest part of the course because there are no spectators)
5. Qualifying for Boston
6. Socks
7. This quote: "Sometimes you have to let go of the person you are in order to become the person you would like to be."

7 Things I Love About Running:
1. Thinking
2. Hills
3. Exploring the area
4. Sense of accomplishment
5. Invigorated feeling afterwards
6. You don't need lots of equipment
7. The post-run beer

7 Favorite Running-Related Memories:
1. Carlisle cross country pre-meet cheer (It went like this: Coach Travis: "Who are we?" Us: "Carlisle!" "Who ya gonna run for?" "Carlisle!" "Who's gonna win?!" "CARLISLE!"
2. Aww Boo, our stuffed vampire mascot, and corresponding jingle
3. Kendor Summit hill workout
4. Autumn leaves, anywhere
5. Sweeping Districts
6. Rutty peeing in Gatorade barrel on the bus
7. Penn State

7 Favorite Race-Related Things:
1. Finish line!
2. Pinning on number (takes a good 10 minutes to get it right)
3. Jumping up and down to stay loose before starting gun
4. The crowd and volunteers
5. Big pace clocks
6. Long-sleeve race T shirt
7. Congratulating the people around you in finish line stall

7 People Who Were Extra Supportive and/or Inspirational:
1. Charlotte Cole, my mom (her first running event)
2. Dean Karnazas (ultra-ultra-distance runner. Is attempting a 350-mile run soon.)
3. Nicole LaCount (endured 5:45am alarms, non-stop TNT talk, events...)
4. Coach Harold Travis (HS XC coach for 35 years.Ran every workout, despite being 60)
5. Molly Schmelzle & Christine LeMieux (put simply, amazing athletes physically and mentally)
6. Wilma Rudolph (OK, a little typical. But she had polio and won the Olympic Gold Medal)
7. Dan Vaughan (started walking for his health this year. I just think that's really cool)

**Bonus List!**
7 Ways Running is Like Life
1. It's not always easy
2. But the harder you go, the easier it gets
3. You never know what you're capable of
4. And, as it turns out, you're capable of a lot
5. You learn a lot from the times where you didn't give up
6. You learn even more from the times where you did
7. You're going to be OK

some things I've learned over the past 2 years, 5 months

2005-10-20T20:56:00.000-05:00

-say what you mean
-mean what you say
-assumptions hurt (both ways). they also create situations.
-realize your effect on others. however, sometimes you won't know what the long-term effect is until it happens. then you feel a mixture of silliness/apologeticness. but there's really nothing you can do because the damage has been done. this is a tough one.
-when you feel sorry, say so.
-when you don't, don't.
-if you love, love unconditionally. otherwise, what's the point?

made it

2005-10-18T19:54:00.000-05:00

I'm in SF.
I have a good job.
I hope to have a good apartment.
Peeps are cool.
I'm in SF.

Oh--and I love this city!
I just wanted to mention that, too.

Fall and me

2005-09-26T09:34:00.000-05:00

"It's that time of year again."

OK. So I actually don't really use that phrase too often, but still. What I'm trying to say is that the first trees are changing and I can no longer deny that with every fluttering leaf that drops, the flora and fauna of my heart be...no, no, no.
Let me start over.

Even though it's hard for me to pick things out and label them as "favorite" and "best," I've decided that Fall is both the best and my favorite season. I don't know how it came to be that way; I never grew up with those American autumnal staples like football, apple cider or sweatshirts with turtlenecks underneath.
In fact, I used to dislike the Fall just because it basically meant that I would have to wear sweatshirts with turtlenecks underneath.
And I hate sweatshirts!
OK, not really. It just meant that playing outside was coming to a close end and then I'd be stuck inside with my family.
Um, no thanks.
But somewhere along the line, I began to like the Fall.

Well, not just "somewhere." I know where it began, goshdarnit, and I'm not ashamed to admit it! It started with cross country. I know that sounds really dorky...but whatevs, yo. Cross country is dorky! But that's where it started and you're going to have to accept that about me.

You see, after a month of hot weather, the season quickly changed to cool, brisk afternoons that make running 60 minutes of hills much more bearable
--nay--
enjoyable.

Then came the races themselves. Set against a changing backdrop of red, orange and yellow, the meets were both exciting and familiar. Exciting because you never knew where your legs would--or wouldn't--take you that day. (At least that's my definition of "exciting." You?)
Familiar because there was Mr. Bartoli, in the same spot, bellowing the same cheer, giving you that same feeling of pride and competitiveness. Or at least making you feel like The Thundering Herd wasn't such a bad mascot after all.

Saturday races--invitationals, mind you--were the best; hundreds of runners AND the chance to medal. The excitement here came from the large field and not knowing the other teams' ability, or even geography. I mean, I still don't know where exactly Emmaus is.
And I hope I never find out.

Oh yeah! And each team had a tent where ear-muffed parents diligently setup the post-race meal: steaming chilli, a cornucopia of chips and dip I'd have never found in my own pantry, fresh fruit and Gatorade galore...all this complemented with the menthotastic hint of Flex-All wafting through the air.
Can you feel it? No, not that. The burning chill inside your nostrils. Yeah! That's it!

By 1PM we were back on the bus, watching Nature's Change whiz by, on our way to Saturdee night's activities-which included, but were not limited to, a bunch of girliness, smelly markers, and, of course, more Flex-All.

My autumns at SU came both with and without running, mostly due to knee issues. Either way, Central NY provided an awesome substitute for the glory days of CHS XC with its most beautiful trees and many an apple festival.
Good enough!

Ever since that first Fall, I've found it impossible to disassociate the season with running.
The crunchy colors. The earthen air. The smell of tree bark changing--thickening for winter--but only when I'm running by it.
There have been times when I couldn't run, times where I just didn't, and times where I didn't know which one it was.
But now this Fall, as I prepare for the biggest running event in my life to date, I realize that over the past ten years running has never really left me.

Nor I running.

And this realization came on this Saturday's run when I noticed the first leaf fall on the trail before me. It was mile 8 of 14…

I'm going going, back back...

2005-09-19T14:28:00.000-05:00

...to Cali Cali!

Yep, that's right folks! San Francisco, to be exact.
In two weeks I'll be headin' out West--this time for at least a few years. It kind of came up fast but I'm super excited and have a weird calmness that everything will work out.

FAQs:

Why?
-After living there, around the world and in various East Coast locations, I've decided that the Bay Area is the place for me right now: chill/diverse peeps, lots to do, diverse array of outdoor activities, good food, big farmers' markets.
-I am starting a company
-I have good friends there

Do you have a job?
In short, no. I do not have a definite, already-existing j-o-b. However, the reason I am going there is to start a non-profit radio production company, called AudioLuxe (please disregard the shitty-ass graphics on this starter Web site) with my good friend Stacy. So that would be my main 'job.' There's also the prospect of getting the morning news director job at KQED, the NPR affiliate station where I interned and, if not, working my way into that station through filling-in.
And then there's always waiting tables...(preferrably with my East Bay crew, somewhere involving Guinness).

Do you have a place to live?
In short, no. Not yet. Two of my future roommates are already in the area scoping out the sitch...such is the relocation process.

I still have some more questions, but let me ask this one that I just thought of: Do you know what the F you're doing??
Yes.

Oh, OK. From the looks of your first two answers, it didn't seem to me like you have a "plan."
Well, I do. But thanks anyway, mom.

You're welcome. So how are you getting there?
I am driving cross country with my third roommate and fine SU-ski-team friend, Karen. We are going to have the most fun!

What about that marathon you were training for? I mean, we all gave you money and now wh...Actually, I'm flying back for the big race, which is Sunday, October 30th. After all this fundraising and training, I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Aren't you in a relationship? What's gonna happen with that?
Yes, and I'm not sure. Even though she's from there, Nicole is not moving back to that area at this time; she'll stay in DC a little while longer. However, I made the decision to do all this a while ago because I knew it was what I wanted to do. Whatever will be will be and I'm not worried about it.

Why are you letting your grandparents down like this? I mean, they really wanted you to move to Edenton and get a good job, plus they are the only ones who seem to know the real deal about San Francisco: that it's a dirty city full of crazy liberals, homeless people, drugs, gays and crime-ridden immigrants. Didn't you know that??
Until I see that San Francisco, I'll go on what I know. Which is that it's one of the best cities in the whole wide world.

tonight's the night

2005-09-08T16:03:00.000-05:00

"la la la la laaaaaa
la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaa
la la lalala
la la
california, here we come
right back where we started from
caaliforrrrrrrrrniaaaaaaaaaaaa"

O-C
season three
bay-bee

misc. wednesday

2005-09-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

-Went over to the SCOTUS yesterday evening to observe/pay respects to Mr. Rehnquist. For me it was nothing political (I mean, obviously). Just something I feel was important because I appreciate our judicial system, the Constitution and the people who spend their lives working in those realms.
Sometimes I go down to the Supreme Court and marvel at not only the white marble pillars, statues and frieze but what the place stands for. Lady Justice holds the scales blindfolded and "Equal Justice Under Law" reads the classically-chiseled font above the massive entrance.
Maybe it's not that way in the real world (yet) and maybe special interests have their greasy hands in the dealings of our government and everyone's corrupt and just trying to exploit their power for the back-alley money mongers lurking in the darkness of racism, classism, et. al.
Or maybe not.
Maybe these people devoted their lives to an idea begun in Babylon, developed in Rome and continued today, which is that people have inalieable rights that no one should ever be able to take away. There's a lot of inherent controversy and debate into what these rights are and how they can be protected, but in the end it's people realizing they are important and trying to do something about them.
Thanks, Mr. Rehnquist. You did a good thing with your life.

-On a related note, the California Assembly yesterday passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, defining it as simply 'between two persons.'
Obviously there is controversy about this topic and whatnot, but the thing that struck me the most was that Gov. Schwarzenegger (who doesn't know if he'll sign it into law yet) stated: "This matter should be settled by the courts, not the legislators."
WTF??????!??????????????!
Didn't opponents cry foul play when the Massachussetts court "actively legislated from the bench" in that state's same-sex-marriage controversy?! I actually agreed with that point on its federalist/constitutional logic! Now a state has gone and passed it the "right" way (no pun intended) but--of course--it's no good. Honestly, people (and by "people" I mean "opponents of same-sex marriage"), make up your f-ing minds.

-On a related note. To my conservative counterparts: In light of recent disaster, war and world events, can you see how two people wanting to marry each other out of love and devotion is
actually not that big of a deal?

-I haven't hopped on the FEMA blame-game bandwagon...well, until today when I learned that a plane carrying evacuees headed for Charleston, SC actually went to Charleston, WV.
Come on guys.

-I forgot to mention that I had a really good Sabrett's kosher hot dog while waiting in line to get into the SCOTUS. Is that wrong?

-Some people have television, sports, etc.
Me, well, I day dream about winning the lottery. I know it sounds kind of silly and stuff. But it's not all the time or such that I don't live my current life. And, yes, I have a slight worry that doing so might actually "jinx" my chances of winning. But I just think the idea is so interesting, how your life can literally change in one moment of pure luck. I mean, I do it because it's fun.
If I won the lottery, I would first put 1/3 of it into an investment/trust--ya gotta protect something for the generations to follow.
Second, I would pay off any and all of my family and friends' personal debt...credit cards, mortgages, cars, student loans, whatever...and pay their monthly bills for 3 months.
Third-(a), I would look for a good charity with a good track record or which needs a good boost and I would give, give, give. Third-(b) I would start my own. Third-(c) I would volunteer the rest of my life. Third-(d) I would give random people money. I mean, it happened to me, right? Share the wealth is what I say. Third-(e) I would buy townhouses in DC, NY, SF & Chicago and let friends/fam there live in them rent-free.
Fourth, I would divide the rest up between family and friends. For example, if I won the MegaMillions this Friday, expected to be in the $200-million range, you can guaran-damn-tee that any and all good friends would be getting at least a mil in the mail...two if you helped me with Team in Training.
Fifth, this one was Brad's idea, but it's a good one, I would take my friends and fam on an all-expenses-paid, around-the-world trip that didn't have a clear ending date. We would just go and not come back until we felt like it was done.
Sixth, I would give the dude who sold me the ticket one million.
So go ahead. Indulge. What would you do if you won?

-I really hate days like yesterday where I'm just like "blah." I'm glad today it's back to my normal 99%-of-the-time goofy & laughing self. Boo-yah!

blech

2005-09-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

I rarely ever say, or feel this, but I think someone's got a case of the Mondays.
And even though it's Tuesday, that person would be me.
BLAH!

the irony of drinking

2005-09-02T09:09:00.000-05:00

In one of these stories, I get rewarded for drinking. In the other, I get punished for not.

-Wednesday night I was out at a dance club until 2:30 or so. I hailed a cab to take back home since it was kinda far and I was, well, really really drunk. Once in the cab I decided/realized that I was also really really hungry so I asked the cabbie if he could please drive up 18th Street, since that is where all of the late-night food spots are. Also, in my mind, I never really thought that asking cabbies to stop so you can get food is kind of not really allowed.
So we're driving up 18th St. and I'm like "hey, can you please stop at this place?" referring to Amsterdam Falafel Shop. He stops and I get out but see that AFS has closed for the night. So I get back in the cab and say "well it's closed. But there's pizza right up there..." pointing to the Jumbo Slice half a block up.
Looking back on it, I didn't really even think to myself, "this guy's job isn't to drive me around looking for food." I just assumed he was cool with it, yo.
Well we pull up to Jumbo Slice and I get out and go in but lo! and behold, they just ran out of pizza. WTF.
So I get back in the cab and tell the cabbie--Ali, to be exact--that they ran out of pizza! I then go, "but there's another place right there" pointing to two doors down to another version of Jumbo Slice. I also ask him if he wants some pizza as well.
We ride the 4 seconds further to the second pizza place...lol, kind of ridiculous I realize now...and I went in and bought a piece cut in half (still enough to feed a family of 5). Got back in the cab and then Ali and I ate the pizza outside of my building.
We also talked about Pakistan for about half an hour.

At the end of this all, I got kind of nervous when I realized I still had to pay the guy. What with all those stops and all, I was dreading a $30 cab fare.
"So, how much do I owe you?"
"Nothing." he says.
Rock on!

-Last night after work my bosses took us all out for a couple of drinks. They are nice, huh?
After a beer or two I left (I had to show my apartment). The rest of the evening was pretty chill---I just went over to Brad's to watch the hurricane coverage (I don't get TV so I hadn't seen any of the news really yet). I was there till, oh, 11. I fiddled around back at my place for another hour then went to bed.
Well this morning I was just really tired. I tried to get out of bed but it just wasn't happening for me. I slept until 8:30--the time I'm supposed to be at work--and called in and said I was running late.
I got to work about 9:30 and did the whole silent-serious thing because I hate being late and feel really really guilty whenever I am.
My co-worker, Nick, comes up to me and says, "James and Steve want to see you upstairs. They weren't too happy about you being late."
Of course my stomach drops. Like I said, I already feel bad and now I'm really nervous.
I went upstairs, into James' office, and started to apologize. He interrupts me and says "well, where were you last night?" Steve says "yeah. What did you do when you left Caddie's?"
"Well, I went home, cleaned and watched the hurricane coverage."
Steve says, "why don't you just tell us the truth?"
"I am."
"Sure" they both reply.
James then says, "well, we've had to give this a lot of thought."
Steve: "Emilie, this is the third time that you've come in either late or not at all after we go out after work."
James: "It's just not acceptable anymore."
There was a moment of silence in which I didn't really know what to say back.

James then goes, "In response to your behavior" [takes out large cardboard thing] "you have to wear THIS until we tell you to take it off:"

"PLEASE EXCUSE MY TARDINESS, I WAS DRUNK LAST NIGHT. -DRUNKIE GIRL"

So now I'm wearing this falsely-accusatory sign around my neck.

misc. wednesday

2005-08-24T09:38:00.000-05:00

--I don't really know what it takes to win the Tour de France(s) or hit thousands of home runs over one's career, but I do know what being an athlete is like, even if it's small potatoes.
My policy regarding doping would be simple: you dope and you're out. No ifs, ands or buts.
Deal with it.

--If I had kids, here are some of the things I would let them/allow them/encourage them to do (obviously pertaining to the appropriate stage in their lives):
-draw on one wall (designated) of the house
-make forts and sleep in them at night
-have little glasses of beer/wine at dinner and come up with a toast
-pick out their own clothes atleast once a week, regardless of what it ended up being
-let pet (gerbil, hamster, etc) run free around house or area of house at set times
-smoke pot, at least once, or provide safe space to do so
-have their own subscription to Highlights magazine
-pick out music/tapes/stories for car rides; also, help pack car
-have small garden of whatever they want to grow
-talk about curfew, come to mutual agreement thereof
-read a different newspaper once a week
-read Roald Dahl
-question authority in respective manner
-say their opinions and what they care about/how they feel

--Some things I would not let them do:
-watch TV/video games more than 1 hour a day, excluding PBS. Excessive exposure to media such as Nickelodeon/Disney/megacorporations with A.D.D-inducing programming=bad. (Old timey Disney movies and Looney Tunes=good).
-use calculators until algebra II
-throw away food
-drink soft drinks/sugary juices in the house. have conversation about why.
-call friends' parents by first names
-pout

--Some things I would make them do:
-make up their bed in the morning
-pick up after themselves before bed time
-share something once a day
-eat dinner as family then help as family cleans up after dinner
-go to the library (if they still exist). oldest takes younger by themselves once appropriate.
-go grocery shopping with me. help make list and then pick out items/make decisions based on nutrition and price when comparing two similar items.
-have an odd job or semi-job once 15
-extra-curricular activity
-have checking account (real or fake)

--Even if it's gotten silly and overrated, at least Cindy Sheehan is standing up for what she believes in.

--I think I'm getting sick of my 'swing' bangs. I'm thinking of growing them out.

--I recently saw the re-make of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. If you're at all familiar with my obsession with the original, you might be wondering why it took so long.
Well, I had made a pact with my friend Katie wherein neither of us would watch the movie without the other one (we share a long long historical love for the book and the original).
Duly, I made a personal pledge not to ever read any critics' notes or reviews so that my experience would be based solely on my own opinions, thoughts, and knowledge of Dahl's story ("CharlieATCF")/Mel Stuart's classic film ("WillyWonkaATCF").
I still haven't read any.
So here goes....
[I should add here that I'm not actually a "strict constructionist," of any sorts, when it comes to my beloved WWATCF. I am all about creativity and story "enhancement." However, I am strict when it comes to CATCF. ]
Let's just say that the only things Tim Burton's movie keeps true to the book are its title and the basic (very basic) premise regarding a kid and a factory. As such, here are some of the top things I found appalling with the new version:
-Charlie Bucket DOES NOT HAVE A FATHER! Dahl made Charlie fatherless for a reason.
-Willy Wonka DOES NOT HAVE A FATHER! Dahl made Willy fatherless for a reason.
-Oompa Loompas were supposed to be tortured and terrified creatures before coming to the Factory. All we see in the movie is that they live in a jungle that "sucked." Either keep their background out of the movie, or make it believable that they needed to be rescued by Wonka.
-The Great Glass Elevator's magic is supposed to be 1) relative to the times and B) special.
In the film, it was just a way everyone got around.
-Slugworth was in the story for a reason. Namely, to test the loyalty of the children. And, hello, that's why Charlie gets the factory in the end.
-The fizzled ending leaves you with no moral, no conclusion as to how you should live life. None.
In fact, at first Charlie reject's Wonka's offer because Wonka makes him choose his family or the factory. WTF??
-Burton's Charlie doesn't even do anything notable that should get him the factory. The kid basically walks through the tour with no challenge, no dilemma, and is randomly offered the loot for what seems like 'just because the tour is over'.
-And, finally, the biggest problem with the film according to Ms. Slocum and myself:
YOU SEE THE BAD CHILDREN COME OUT OF THE FACTORY IN THE END.
Must I really emphasize the importance of not knowing what happens to Augustus, Violet, Veruca and Mike??
Overall, I thought this movie was a thin and shallow version of the original story. Except for Mr. Depp, the roles were generically and unimaginatively cast to boring actors. (Although, I do like how the Oompa Loompas were all played by the same eerily-goofy, native-looking fellow.) Also, the factory tour itself was actually pretty dull, considering it's supposed to be the coolest place on the face of the Earth. I mean, the one scene that's supposed to take you to your highest indulgent fantasy--entering the Edible Park--is hurried and, quite frankly, bland.
As the tour continued, it seemed like you already were supposed to know the story and that these people on screen before you were merely going to half-ass it out for you just to get the job done.
And rather than being poor, down-and-out "good" people, the Buckets seemed like they were doing just fine, cabbage water and all. I never connected with them or their plight, and we never saw them in relation to others in their town. As such, the viewer could really care less whether they made the next month's rent or if Charlie even got the factory in the end. What's more is that you didn't even despise the other "bad" kids. Sure, they were kinda annoying, but the Schadenfreude of watching Augustus get stuck in the tube or Veruca fall down into the garbage chute was completely absent.
Then, like I said, seeing them emerge slightly altered was simply a slap in the face to Dahl's moral of the story.
And don't get me wrong--I'm not speaking as an adult here. Of course a 24-year-old will have a different opinion than a kid, and I realize that. However I was obviously surrounded by little kids and I frequently checked out their response to the movie. Looks of confusion and boredom glazed the audience, young and old.
Sure the effects were neat-o...Right when your mind started wandering to what you were going to make for dinner...er, which Happy Meal you were going to order at Mickey D's...a flashy spout of animation and a large, corresponding sound effect would snap you back into viewership.
But that's all it was. Moments of heightened, colorful excitement with none of the magic and wonder underneath. I could go on and on, but I won't.
To sum it up though, it didn't even leave you wanting a candy bar.

--At a news conference unveiling the administration's new plan to overhaul fuel economy regulations for light trucks (SUVs, pickups and vans), Secretary of Transportation Norman Mineta showed up in a Lincoln Navigator. WAY to lead by example.

--Google News is really, really awesome.

to a friend I once had

2005-08-19T08:42:00.000-05:00

people

PEE-OPLE, as my first-grade self used to phonetically think.
Sometimes I just can't help but wonder,, what the heck? We are people. I, you, we. It's weird. We're all just these animals doing all this stuff...making computer chips, having arguments over dirty dishes, blowing up busses, lying, flying, begging, giving, ending, starting commercial real estate development companies and making coo-coo clocks and then setting up coo-coo clock repair shops in the Schwarzwald. We made up words and then used them to describe other words and things, 'words' and 'things' being the very same oh my god those are words too. I mean, I know. Blah blah blah, in a sense...but which sense?
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it all. It's a mood thing, perhaps related to my period. That would be weird if it was, though, and I don't think it is. Sorry for talking about my period.
But when I start feeling overwhelmed I try to channel the overwhelmingness into a singular idea which mayhaps can represent the flurry of thoughtful dicta hurricaning around in my brainsies.
So thank god for Molly Schmelzle's recent post on friendship.

In life we (most of us) have parents/family, our significant other, and friend(s). One is tied to us in a way we didn't choose (family), another is sexual, but the third--friends--well...
How does it happen?

in the beginning there was...stuff.

"Even though friendship may seemingly be composed of universal principles, behaviors, and actions," writes Schmelzle, "in actuality it is a personal or relational conceptualization."
She further goes on to say that "creating a meaningful friendship is a long imperative process."

Essentially, friendships are these amazing relationships we form that, on one end, are really connected to our center beings--who we are, what we need, who we want to be, etc--and on the other end, touch someone else. It's like this ray we're shooting out of ourselves and everyone is shooting out these rays and when the rays cross, a friendship happens.
It could be ephemeral or eternal, but the lines have been crossed and it's taken a whole lifetime, whether you know it or not in "real time," just for that one instant connection. And, according to the Socratic idea of the dialectic, A + B must equal C. Thus the two people who crossed will necessarily be different after the crossing than before.

And what of a "meaningful" friendship? I would first say that every friendship is necessarily meaningful. But to avoid being nit-picky, which is not the point of this post or something I particularly like to pick, a meaningful friendship is obviously one that has impacted your life more than the Socratic synthesis of A + B = C. Rather, it's more like C + C Music Factory.
It makes you think
appreciate
apologize
cry
laugh
and
last but not least
go 'hmmm.'

a friend is someone who...well, just fill in the blank here with whatevs. it's all relative anyway

I don't feel qualified nor wanting to get into what happens once a friendship is est'd. The friendship is what it is to you and me and, really, who the hell cares to hear about it all?

so no one told you it was gonna be this way (clapclapclapclap)

Happy. Umbrellas. Fountains. Smiling.
Or not.
"Over the last couple of years I have slowly watched the links of a once cherished friendship break one by one. It is a painful and almost irrevocable process."
[sic. I know that "once cherished" should really be "once-cherished," since it's a compound adjective. But, again, I'm not here to nitpick my dear friends' blogs. Or am I??].
She finishes up: "What hurts the most is the one-sided realization of this occurrence. But we are both victims of each other’s new lives and seeming indifference."

There are two thoughts here: one is the pain involved with a friendship ending and the other is the idea that it's seemingly one-sided, but realistically two-sided. Both of these are interesting ideas to me.
I moved around alot. Like, a lot-lot. Like, every two years up until high school and then, after college (which involves a lot of moving as well), I moved a lot again. In 2003-2004 I lived in 4 different states and one district. However I rarely "lost" friends. There were some peeps who I grew out of touch with, but there was never a real ending to the relationship. Well, my best friend from 8th grade recently died in a car crash, but that's a totally different kind of ending. Indeed, if I were to randomly see most of my growing-up friends, I think we would just naturally pick up where we left off. Sans the sleepovers and whole light-as-a-feather-stiff-as-a-board thing.
So I don't feel, personally, what Molly writes about the ending of friendships.
Well, I take that back. I might be experiencing my first one of these endings as we speak, but even in the face of obvious signs as such, I am in a sort of emotional denial that it might be happening. Either way, that is something for another time, another place, or in the least, it's not pertinent to this particular post. Or maybe I don't feel like talking about it because it will make me cry.

Anywho, I am more interested in the idea that she is talking about the "one-sided realization of this occurance" as well as the simultaneous idea that the two are "both victims of each other's new lives and seeming indifference."
In a way, she is right. One person might be the only one who senses the friendship slipping even though circumstances mean that it's a team effort. But is this an acceptable occurance in the first place?
I don't really accept a friendship ending because of "new lives" and "seeming indifference."
To me, friends are the number one most important thing in life (because, also to me, "friends" include family members and partners) and being too lazy to check up on the friendship just 'cause you know the other person has had life changes and you think they don't care about you/the friendship anymore is a bunch of crap.
I'm not saying what Molly says is crap...I think what she is saying actually does happen, and that is what I think is crap. I should also add here that I'm not trying to be a 'hard ass' or something like that. This isn't about blame. In fact, it's the exact opposite of blame.
Of course there are times when once-friends just end up having nothing in common. [Kind of. I'm still if-fy on that one because if you had so much in common in the first place, how does that ever disappear? And that is also kinda my point] So I'm not talking about forcing a friendship to exist in the rare, RARE case that you actually have nilch in common anymore.
But except for that truly rare instance, I think most friendships can, and should, survive blase life-shifts, distance, and infrequent communication.
How? It's simply a matter of swallowing your pride.
Don't pretend like you've never felt that way--the seeming indifference stuff--before. How many times have you looked through your cell's phonebook, seen an old friend's number, but decided against hitting 'send' just because you figure that person is too busy or probably will think you're weird for calling out of the blue or just looking plain desperate?
Since when did calling a friend, even if you haven't spoken in forever, mean you were desperate? Sometimes I even feel that way for a split second. Even though I get the spontaneous urge to call someone I haven't talked to in a while, I get this weird hesitancy about it. But I realize that's just me and I hit 'send' and in the end I could care less what the person thinks. I'm not a hero or anything, but I do realize if I gave in to my fleeting moment about it all, I wouldn't have the strong friendships I have today. Sometimes it's just the way ya gotta do things even if you feel a little vulnerable for a sec. Because vulnerability inevitably makes you stronger and more compassionate--two of the most important personal assets involved in friendship.
On a similar note, I also think this is a bunch of crap:
"I'm just really bad at staying in touch."

[By the way, in all honestly, I am not thinking of anyone in particular here. So please don't get all worried or feel offended. I'm just sayin' how I feel about friendships and what they are and what they mean to me, which is a lot]

people, again

Because that's all we are, are people. We're silly people who have touched one another's lives in a significant way through caring, wondering, hurting, forgiving, sharing and knowing. And everyday I feel so lucky that I've engaged in this process with other people, with my friends.
For those to end so easily, well, I just can't accept it.

thanks to these people, I'll be doing something I'm not really "supposed" to do!*

2005-08-17T11:51:00.000-05:00

SO! I am officially entered in the 2005 Marine Corps Marathon!!! As many of you know, I decided to give running 26.2 miles a shot and joined Team in Training, a program run by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society which trains you for an endurance event of your choice and a spot in the race in exchange for you raising money for the Society. My minimum to raise was $1700 and with the help of my loving friends and family, I made my goal by last Friday's recommitment deadline ($1847, to be exact)!
Without being cheesy, I want to devote this post to the people who have made it possible for me to run in the race and, more importantly, raise this good deal of money to help fund research and patient aid for blood-related cancers. If you don't want to read about the people I'm smitten with at the current time because of their awesome support, I'd stop right now. I can understand a post of this nature can be kind of annoying.
Here are the people who made it possible for me to stay in the TNT program, what I have to say about them/our friendship, and how I think they would fare in the 26.2:

---Catherine Bartoli: a good friend from high school who has known me since I put on my first pair of running shoes. A true big sister of sorts whose outlook on life is constantly positive, she helped me through some times where I felt like giving up on running. (Can you say Kendor Summit??) a superb cook and currently a grad student of Urban Studies in Philadelphia.
-without training, could finish the course in/around 4:30.
---Keith Beam: a fellow ROTC cadet who always made me laugh even when we were supposed to be taking that whole Army thing seriously. And "beam" is such a cool last name! Currently a 1st LT in the Army, serving at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
-not counting his recent car accident and subsequent neck injury, Mr. Beam could do it under 4, no problem.
---Missy Bednarek: my dear friend and fellow Army brat who knows no limit when it comes to good old fashioned fun. She also has size 4D boobs and gets sunburned in the moonlight. Oh and she recently married a Venezuelan when she lived in Venezuela. Currently transitioning from living in Venezuela.
-Unfortunately, I don't think Missy would be able to run in a marathon given the size of her boobs.
---Amy Benson: a friend from college who I knew briefly (she graduated right after we started hanging out). Such a jovial person with that laid-back Burlington attitude many strive their whole lives to attain! Currently a physical therapist in Burlington, VT.
-Finish in 5, no sweat.
---Kelly Brown: One of my college roommates, Kelly never turned down an opportunity to get completely trashed or help me with Spanish syntax. Thing is, I didn't take Spanish and could have cared less about syntax! She also acted as my substitute for a date I had to cancel with my college boyfriend. Who does that?? Good ol' Kelly Brown, that's who. Currently event planner for a Boston-based company. Could I be more specific? Nope.
-Kelly's stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one. She lives in Boston, so she's in the marathon capital of the US. Thing is, the race starts at noon and she'd already be too drunk to ever participate. However, I'm sure she's OK with that set up.
---Barry Brumitt: Boyfriend of a high school friend. Barry's motto is "never stop" and, in saying that, he's referring to LIFE. He's a skydiver and DJ on the side from developing computer games for Microsoft in Seattle.
-Already ran a marathon. Time: 4:12
---Melissa Chadwick: A college friend who's one of the most reliable people I know, also quite pretty. She's a Republican and that's OK. Currently lives in nearby Silver Spring, MD and writes medical-industry newspaper/pamphlets but I see her being a star reporter for a major pape sometime soon.
-I actually see Ms. Chadwick doing a marathon sometime in her life. 5:30.
---the Clippingers: Family of my high school soccer coach, Greg "Clip" Clippinger, who was seriously one of the top two coaches I have ever had in my life. Currently high school soccer coach and Navy logistics coordinator and moved down the street from my family's house in good ol' Car-lisle, PA.
-the Clippinger family (all 5 of them) could come in under 3 if they worked as a relay team.
---Becky Collins (and matching gift from employer, Universal Music Group): She left SU and went straight to LA where she's been ever since. Before moving to UMG, Becky was Judge Judy's legal assistant. Yes, that Judge Judy (Or "JJ" as she likes to call her). Like, she had JJ's personal cell phone number. Look for her name on the credits:) Becky and I spent 2 days making the power hour tape for our college ski team, and four years making memories from our college shenanigans. We also got kicked out of the Robert Mondavi winery in Napa Valley.
-the beckster is quite athletic and I can see a finish of 5 with the right training.
---Elisse Collins (no relation to Becky, but the ditty is applicable): If you know a Collins, you're one of the luckiest people alive. I know all four of them--maybe I should go buy a lotto ticket?? Elisse lives in close by Alexandria and is an MPH candidate at the GW University.
-Elisse has already started running for cancer awareness in this year's Cherry Blossom festival. I see her doing the 'thon in under 5 fo sheezy.
---John Coppola: Seriously one of the top 3 nicest guys I have ever known and a stellar gentleman. When the rest of us had senioritis, John never missed an ROTC PT session! 1st LT, deploying to Iraq in September.
-a shoe-in at 3:15. WITH full BDU's.
---Emily Cummings: Emilie Cole : EmCole :: Emily Cummings : _______. Together we had a penchant for freaking out the opposing cross country team by acting out SNL skits, (admittedly, none of which are funny anymore). She was a staple of my Carlisle experience. Currently a promotions coordinator for a Tampa, FL-based radio station.
-EmCum could easily take the course in 4:45.
---Brad Decker: um, hello! BRAD DECKER! Currently a campaign finance analyst at the Federal Elections Commission and, like, stuff.
-Brad can't run longer than 10 miles with out getting bored.
---Karen & Paul Decker: Brad's loving parents who think I take him into the ghetto.
-Mr: 3:30/Mrs: -5
---Judy Denham: Triumph's fabulous accountant. 'Round here she goes by Juds and drinks Mike's, which is fabulously trashy and disgustingly glamourous at the same time. Currently an accountant at Triumph Development.
-She bailed on our company run, so I'm not so sure about her level of dedication to running. If she "had to" I'm sure -6.
---Maggie Dukes: Also a kick-ass last name. And her first name isn't a nickname. AND she's both an overachiever and supercool at the same time. AND she gave me this really pretty skirt this one time. AND she's part of Bo2, this extraordinary gang of people I met the second day of college, the memories of which are still some of my finest. Currently works in advertising in N-Y-C.
-Mags. MAGS. 5:30.
---the Duckerts: Nicole's friends' family who I've never met, but who are extremely generous and most likely very very nice.
-They would do their best.
---Moira Fratantuono: one of the most sarcastic people I've ever met and long-time friend from HS. About her senior year as an art student: "I'm having such a great time being a senior. I'm so happy that I can't think of anything to paint."
-too cynical to run a marathon
---Jeremy Greenberg: my roommate in London and super-Jew. The most well-travelled 20-something I've ever met. Helped start AEPi at tons of campuses around the country until moving to DC this summer. Is currently looking for a nice Jewish girl to settle down with.
-Not a runner type. Is really good at soccer and catchphrase though!
---Molly Harris: a recent friend (i.e., beginning of June) from the burgeoning lipstick lesbian scene here in DC. I actually don't know if it's burgeoning or not because I am not part of that scene, really. Neither is she, so that's weird, huh? I had actually never been to any sort of thing having to do with that before, so I was surprised to meet someone I would have become friends with anyway (funny, awesome, witty and nice.) Is the nice Jewish girl Jeremy's looking for, except that she is gay. Currently works for Sen. Kohl (D-Wisc.) on Capitol Hill and drinks beer out of a frisbee in her free time.
-All of Molly's free time is taken up by drinking so training for a marathon is not looking very probable. However I think she's a natural athlete so I'll go with sub 4:30 with the right training.
---Heather Hinckley: part of the 2A Crew. Senior year lived across the street and together our apts threw some classy beer pong tourneys as well as the 2005 Beer Olympics and Hot Tub Extravaganza. Ackerman Ave will never be the same. Our friendship has other aspects that aren't related to beer, but I can't remember them right now.
-Under 5 if she wanted to.
---Erin Hobday: Erin is from Tappanzee and that is one of the fun-nest words to say, and also to sing in a crescendo choral warm-up. We bonded especially our sophomore year of college when we felt just plain holed up in our 70's-era dormitory, Dellplain Hall, and fed up with the SU life. We watched The Graduate. We applied to other schools. We wallowed. And then we realized we liked it there and got over it. Erin is a kick-ass literaturist and writer with a terrific sense of humor, and I'm glad she exists. Period.
-One of the handful of people from SU who actually liked running. 3:30.
---Eric Hough: I have been envious of Eric's ability to do a helicopter on skis since our days of high school ski club. Of course, I tore my ACL the first time I gave it a shot, but that really has nothing to do with Eric. Eric is a complete computer nerd at heart and his forte, now that I think about it, is service projects. He used to go annually to the Dominican Republic to help out with a medical clinic. He also went every summer to build hay-bale houses in Montana for displaced Native Americans. He also went to Central America to build houses and even all the way to Africa to help set up community computer labs in villages. He also shares my passion for Blackalicious and beer. Currently a PhD student at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh and future Bill Gates-meets-Mother Teresa.
-Eric has already done a marathon: the Penn State 'Thon which is actually a dance marathon. He danced for 72 hours without stopping.
---Jen Iles: Jen is one of my (former) sorority sisters and a very snazzy lady if I do say so myself, which I do. I think it's 'cause she's a Cali girl:) Jen and I have very similar senses of humor which was imperative at a place like Syracuse. And even though I left Pi Phi after only a year of sisterhood, she made my experience with the whole thing, and especially my pledge class, unforgettable. For the years after that I saw Jen only occasionally--it's weird how you can not see people even when you're at the same school--but when I did have the good fortune of seeing her out at Darwin's or Faegan's it always ended up absolutely making my day to meet up with the hilarious Jenbino. I think she is currently building a retail empire in San Diego.
-Jen's a very determined gal and I think she would finish in under 6.
---Nicole LaCount: my loving girlfriend who had to donate or else I wouldn't talk to her. JK. As you can see below, she rallied the troops for sure! Currently a high school bio teacher at Bell "Multicultural" (i.e., Latino/African/Asian immigrant) HS.
-This is how Nicole goes running: jog. stop. walk. look at the flowers. stretch. jog. walk. As such, I'd say 10 hours.
---Lynn LaCount: Nicole's dad. Lives in the coolest house I've ever seen on the Pacific Coast of California. Knows how to retire. An amazing beach-sprinter.
-under 4:00.
---Jean-Paul & Allie LaCount: Nicole's brother and wife. One of the cutest couples ever. They have a neat cat named Hilo. Currently moving from the OC to Seattle.
-As a team, under 2:30.
---Christine LeMieux: a friend from college who I didn't know very well until she moved here to DC. Now we paint the town just about every week! Bonus points for: one day driving Nicole out to the airport at 4am. Then that afternoon braved DC rushhour traffic, came and picked me up from Annapolis where I was wasted on our company boat trip, then drove me all the way in the opposite direction back to the same airport she had been to 12 hours prior. All in one day. Volunteered. Currently works in a lobby firm.
-With very careful and detailed planning for a good two years, would finally actually run the race with an impressive sub 4. Her outfit would match perfectly.
---Allie & Erik Kochert: Allie is one of my bf's from high school and has been there through thick and thin as we gradually figure out this thing called life. She more than I, as she got married last summer and has recently bought her first house! I would frequently drop by her house and raid her candy drawer in the small-town life that is Carlisle. Then we would play You Don't Know Jack until it was time to go home. Also, a super-loving person with an equally-as-loving family. Recently got her masters' in therapy and got a therapist job.
-Allie would speed walk in under 4:30. Her mom would qualify for Boston.
---Lindsay Miller: Also of the fantabulous Bo2 gang. Lindsay and I had a special bond--she was the only other person I knew at SU who was from the boring and useless Central Pennsylvania region. As such, we had walkie-talkies for pretty much all of freshman year. How cool is that? Rather, how cool is Lindsay Miller?? Currently works in marketing in NYC.
-Linz already biked the Five Boroughs and I could see her running them in under 5!
---Nick Mira: In high school gym class volleyball games, Nick would steal the volleyball and punt it across the gym just to see what would happen. What would happen is that the ball would bounce around like a bullet trapped in a metal box and then he would get detention. Again. Currently works at a Boston architecture firm.
-Under one hour. On a skate board.
---Mom: My mom rocks!! I met my mom when I was born.
-My mom IS doing the marathon. She'll get her goal time of 12 min/mile, I know it!
---Kathy Mullaney: My former sorority big sister and the only person I know who's actually from Delaware. Inspired me to learn "Over the Hills and Far Away" on the guitar--I think it was my first non-Indigo Girls song? Now that's influence! Currently works at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center here in DC area.
-It would take some focusing, but she could do it in under 5.
---Carol Munger: another firend from SU who graduated before our friendship really blossomed. Along with Amy Benson, the blossoming took place last summer at our dear friend Erica Collins' (see: Elisse Collins, et. al.) kick-ass wedding in the upper lakes of Michigan. Currently a am-pro volleyball player, recently returned from France and is hopefully going back to pursue European professional volleyball.
-Under 4.
---Molly Nichols: Please see post titled "fallure" for Molly's outlook on life. Currently teacher at magnet school in Boulder, CO. I heart Molly Nichols.
-at sea level, easily under 5 hours.
---Colleen O'Brien: CoCo is the sassiest etepetetes I have ever known. You don't even know what that means.
-Under 4:30. Colleen's a great runner and XC pal.
---Mike O'Connor: The newest edition to Team Triumph. A jolly irishman who can drink the rest of us under the table and pretty much out the door. Currently development manager for our humble company.
-Playing 18 is similar to a marathon, right?
---Molly Peterson: A jolly irishwoman who drank the rest of us under the table and out the door. How do I keep befriending these types of people? One of the funniest people I've ever met. Likes bobbleheads. Got her JD just for fun. Currently freelance reporter and producer for NPR and former producer at NPR member station KQED in SF.
-Under an hour. In a kayak. That she built.
---Andrew Poolman: my highschool boyfriend and, along with John Coppola, one of the top 3 nicest guys I've ever met. One day last summer we spent all evening racing his automatically-reclining overstuffed chairs while drinking mint juleps. Thing is, racing automatically-reclining overstuffed chairs is pointless since they go the same speed and no one can win. Currently a teacher at a private school in upstate NY.
-Last I knew he wasn't too fond of running, but I think he could do it in under 4.
---Darya Porat: my freshman and senior year roommate. From dealing with a ton of army crap sprawled over our teensy room freshman year (and the M16 target I hung on our door without realizing it came across as creepy--hey, I was just proud of my shooting!) to senior year's debauchery which included many power hours, a caribbean cruise and crawling around the apartment mewing like cats, when I think of college, I automatically think of Darya. Who doesn't, really?
-Darya would win out of sheer cuteness. Barring that, I think she'd easily get in around 5:15.
---Ali Lee & Mitch Price: Ali Lee and her boyfriend, Mitch Price. I cannot begin to explain Ali Lee in this humble blog. It's just too humble!
-Ali: Boston mat. Mitch: I have no idea, I'm still getting to know him.
---Meghan Riley: the third and final senior roommate. Shares my Type-A (which I think is all but gone now, but back then...well...) side so I didn't feel like a weirdo organizing my grocery cabinet and having to do lists all over my computer monitor. Meghan bites off more than you think she can eventually chew. But she'll prove you wrong and wash it down with a beer to boot! Born, raised and currently a grad student at SU. Meghan: please leave Syracuse before you die.
-If she could actually fit 4 and a half hours into her busy schedule, she could do the 26.2. That's highly unlikely, though.
---Amy Savage: of the 2A Crew as well. No. 2 worst Boston-area accent I have ever heard in my entire life. Has replaced the ability to pronounce the letter "R" with an impeccable ability to party.
-Would be with Kelly on this one. Not so much running in the marathon so much as watching and drinking.
---Molly Schmelzle: see www.mcschmel.blogspot.com for more details. Currently lives in San Diego as a grad student and liver of life to the fullest.
-Will make Boston in her first marathon, whenever that happens.
---Adam Smith: a DC friend of Nicole's who will never be able to write a book on economic theory without coming across as silly. That sucks because he would probably write a book on economic theory if he wasn't a structural engineer.
-Probably can't do a marathon because of his knees. But if he could, under 4 for sure.
---Jack Somerville: the old dude that works in an office inside our office. Is obsessed with the mail and the weather. Calls from vacations to check in on the weather and mail. Calls Asian Americans "Chinamen." Currently on vacation, called earlier today to see how the weather was and if the mail came yet.
-8-9 hours.
-the Strands: family of dear friend Ellie Strand, my youngest friend to date (when I was senior, she was freshman, etc). Also one of my closest running friends--we've climbed a lot of hills, run a lot of miles, and won a lot of meets together. A great runner and even better friend.
-Boston or better.
---Marygrace Tilman: I met Marygrace on accident when she was visiting SU as a high shcool senior. Then, somehow, we both showed up randomly at SU XC preseason, looking to walk on the squad. Our friendship then quickly grew and running is truly at its core. Favorite run: the Quarry (that one trail, especially:). Marygrace has narcolepsy and when we roomed together I frequently made her brush her teeth and tucked her in to bed. She is now married and deployed to South Korea the other day.
-I think she randomly ran a marathon in Spain and did pretty well. Like 3:50-ish or something like that. Definitely Boston.
---Geoff Washburn: A fellow ROTC cadet who was as hardcore about the program as I wasn't. A dedicated and reliable chap who didn't mind hearing my liberal crap day in and day out. This guy was born a ranger. Thank god because he now is one. Currently stationed in Hawai'i. Boo hoo.
-Hates running but could do it in 2:30 if under enemy fire.
---Karen Weidert: one of my fondest memories of Karen (along with Ms. Becky Collins) is dressing up like "KISS" and hiding out in the lobby of Psi U for about 2 hours. Karen went to South Africa right after college where she taught prison inmates First Aid. Currently lives in Boston working for a South African organization but is moving with me to SF in the future (I still hope).
-Karen would come in exactly 5 minutes after me, regardless of the time. Hehehe, jk. You know you're the best at life and I'm just jealous.

THANKS TO ALL OF THESE GUYS FOR THEIR SUPPORT!!
If, after reading this, you'd also like to help, please consider donating to my mom's fundraising since I have completed my goal. Click here.

*According to my "doctor"

Rest in Peace, Mr. Jennings.

2005-08-08T12:04:00.000-05:00

"I have never spent a day in my life where I didn't learn something."
-Peter Jennings, 1938-2005

riddims

2005-08-08T08:29:00.000-05:00

I discovered something this weekend, practically in my own backyard, that is just absolutely fabulous! (I love when this happens; it takes a familiar place and makes it new all over again)
I don't know how I missed it for so long...it's really loud, tons of fun and crowds of people attend this thing: Every Sunday in Meridian Hill Park there is an African drum circle.
Not a drum circle with a bunch of white hippies (although there were some in attendance, naturally). No, this one actually had real, pure soul.
Around the circle there were a ton of people (like, 50), each with a set of bongoes, drums, cowbell-type things, or cymbals. There were a few 'leaders' who would reset the rhythym by playing a simple beat which meant to stop the current one they were playing. Once everyone would do the restart beat, the leader then tapped out the next one, and slowly everyone would join in.
Standing outside the circle, but still close to it, I closed my eyes and took in this makeshift orchestra's performance. I could hear every. single. individual instrument--even the small rain-trickley sound made by some hollow wooden rod--and, at the same time, one big instrument, one big song.
It was a whole and also the sum of its parts.

And it was so celebratory! Everyone was having a such good time! They weren't there for a demonstration or to raise money. They were there to get together, forget about everything on their minds. To make beats, to dance (people dance in the middle--not your hippies trying to look African, but the real deal- the real dancing with the flailing arms, the smiling faces, the stomping, the loose wrists) They were just getting together to beat on whatever they had for a good four hours in the sweltering DC summer heat.
Just cause.
I love it!

I thought about "race." Well, not race cause I don't really believe in race. But it made me think about cultures in a way which I haven't in the recent months.
The first was the history of this drum circle--not just here in DC but back in Africa. The tribal aspect. Standing there, my whole body felt taken over by the beat. I couldn't help it! The rhythym just coursed through my veins. I didn't want to dance--I enjoyed watching others do so. But my soul was dancing involuntarily at the sounds.
This is part of daily life for these people. Music and dancing are in their culture. (I also love this about Latin, and now come to think of it, most of the world's non-white cultures because of this). Here our celebrations are organized, purposeful and, when compared to this kind of stuff, kinda boring! I experienced the same, I think, when I went to one of Nicole's student's Quince Ano. It was a random attendence on my part and I didn't really know what it was. But in the basement of a local El Salvadorean church with its flourescent lighting, plastic decorations and erratic DJ, the family still danced like there was no tomorrow.
Getting back to the drum circle,
It made me think how the colonialists could ever think the same thing savage, beastly, barbaric.
This was something new to me--something I could never do, per se, and I felt so appreciative of what I heard. How could something like this not be seen as beautiful?? I thought of Waiting for the Barbarians by JM Koetzee. In reality, which group is the "civilized" one?

That being said, I also got some chuckles out of the white people in the drum circle. There were about 3 or 4 and they were focused concentratingly on the drum leaders, their lips pursed, their brow sweaty and their movements stiff...making SURE that they stayed on beat. I wonder if that's how blacks feel in our mostly "white" world: somewhat stressed out about getting it right, making enough to get by, and being able to stay in the game for atleast one more whatever it is that individuals measure their increments of life by.
But at the Meridian Hill drum circle it was the other way around, even if for a few hours on a hazy Sunday afternoon. This was their world.
We had to keep up this time.

misc. wednesday

2005-08-03T13:26:00.000-05:00

Hello somewhat-faithful blog readers! Hope everyone is doing well this fine August day! It's hot as whatever outside here in DC but you know me-I try to keep cool. Well, I actually have some thoughts this week. Of course there is no real consistency between them (summer does that. sunshine=less pensive=jumbled thinking) and so here's another round of miscellaneous wednesday!

-Once you've run 14 miles, suddenly running 8 seems like a walk in the park. This was the farthest I've ran to date!

-I know it's a tad late, but I think that the Bud Lite "Real Men of Genius" commercials are one of the top 5 advertising ideas of all time. My favorite: Mr. 80-SPF Sunblock Wearer ('don't forget the moonlight')

-Is there really a difference between simile and metaphor? I don't think there is. Isn't the "like" or "as" simply implied with metaphor?

-Another quote from my Uncle Thomas, which I forgot to put on that post is: "If you don't want to pull yourself out of the toilet, go ahead and flush yourself on down."
I think this could be applied to: welfare reform and the current Washington Nationals.

-I'd like to congratulate the following peeps in certain life milestones (that I know of!!):
--Katie Slocum: got a sweet teaching job at a private school in Fredericksburg, VA
--Brad Decker: was promoted to G-11, Step 2
--Erica Schulze, Allie Kochert, Marygrace Tilman: celebrated one-year anniversaries this summer
--Molly Nichols: got a sweet teaching job at a magnet school in Denver
--Sarah Schilling: entering grad school at Emerson
--Dan Vaughn: getting new apartment
--Doug Weck: full-ride to UPenn for JD/PhD
--Karen Weidert: deciding to move to Bay Area (with me!)
--Stacy Bond: quit KQED to pursue life dream, AudioLuxe
--Molly Harris: after years of penning legislation, finally got millions of dollars in appropriations for Wisconsin's roads in last week's Transportation Bill
--You: reading this blog

-Rahzel is one of the most talented vocalists who has ever lived.

-Marijuana greatly, GREATLY enhances watching The Transformers.
That is, if it is actually possible to enhance watching The Transformers.

-Communication=transmission + reception.

-A frisbee can hold more than 40 oz. of beer.

-I hate to comment on this 'publicly', but it's on my mind at least once a day, no jokesies:
I'll admit that I'm not the best one at taking hints. I don't like to assume what someone else is thinking and like the same done for me, which is why maybe I'm not the most tactful person you've ever met. You know? As such, I'll keep it brief.
I *think* that I have recently lost a friendship that was very dear to me. There's a combination of things that come into play here for me. One is that I'm accustomed to making and keeping friends, not losing them. Secondly, I really care about this friend and it will be weird and it is sad to me that it is possibly gone.
Another is that I really thought our friendship and relationship (i.e., what we've contributed to one another's lives, etc.) was important enough and strong enough to take anything thrown at it. Even if I might have done the throwing. (Did I??)
But I mean, come on. I'm a girl. My throw can't be that good.

-"Big wheels keep on turning and the Proud Mary keeps on burning. And I'm rolling on the river."

"Iraqi Boy, After Dream Trip to U.S., Hates to Go Home"

2005-07-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm hesitant to copy and paste articles here, but I thought this one was tres interessante:

NYTimes.com
By JEFFREY GETTLEMAN
Published: July 28, 2005
After two fairy-tale weeks of pampering, shopping, top-notch medical care and limitless Pepsi, Ayad al-Sirowiy, the 13-year-old Iraqi boy who came to the United States to get the tattoo of war removed from his disfigured face, is going home.

And - no surprise - he really doesn't want to.
"Ma arrooh, ma arrooh," Ayad shouted Wednesday afternoon, as he kicked and fussed in his hotel bed, a few hours before his flight. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go."
His face was shiny with burn salve, his lips were puffy and blistery and both eyes were swollen shut like a pummeled boxer's. It stung just to look at him.
Ayad has been quite a project. He was injured at the beginning of the Iraq war after his cow accidentally set off an American cluster bomb, which drilled tiny pieces of shrapnel into his face, blinding him in one eye and printing a map of pin-prick scars across his skin. The boys in Ayad's village call him "Mr. Gunpowder," and he was so ashamed that he dropped out of school.
But after a retired law professor in Miami Beach read about his plight and won him approval to come to the United States, a new hope was planted. Ayad began to dream of having his old face again. And he thought if it could happen anywhere, it was America.
During his time here he has seen a lot - the inside of the Pentagon, a senator's office, sharks in a tank, girls in tank tops, the view from the Empire State Building and the treasures of Wal-Mart.
"It was bigger than my village," said Ayad's father, Ali, who accompanied him on his visit.
But the miracle metamorphosis didn't happen. Ayad thought he was going to get a new eye; instead he got a contact lens. And the laser surgery that was promised to erase his facial scars will only lighten them, unless he can receive follow-up treatment in the United States or another modern country, which is highly unlikely once he leaves behind the silky sheets and first-class hotels for his mud hut.
Just the sight of an Iraqi flag yesterday, at the Iraqi mission to the United Nations, jolted his father back to reality.
"Can't I stay here and work?" he asked Ambassador Samir Shakir M. Sumaida'ie, Iraq's permanent representative to the United Nations.
When the ambassador gently shook his head, Ayad's father covered his face and cried.
Ayad arrived in New York on July 13, and soon began skin laser treatment by Dr. Tina Alster, a dermatologist in Washington, who zapped 2,500 ugly blue freckles on his face. His most recent treatment was on Monday, which is why his face is now so sore.
Ayad also saw a number of eye doctors in Baltimore. But he was unable to get the cornea transplant that was needed to restore his full vision because the optic nerve in his right eye was destroyed. Instead, doctors gave him a specially made cosmetic contact lens that turns his milky blue eye back to brown. He quickly lost it, though his sponsors hope to send him a spare.
A tiny piece of shrapnel was found near the retina of his good eye, which at first was thought to require surgery. But a retina specialist determined that the shrapnel was not hurting Ayad's vision and that it would be too risky to remove it.
Then came the V.I.P. treatment. Ayad and his father met Senator Patrick J. Leahy, Democrat of Vermont, who has worked to increase financing for civilian casualties.
Mr. Leahy told Ayad that he is blind in one eye, too.
"If I can be a senator with one eye, you can be prime minister," Mr. Leahy said. Ayad beamed.
They had lunch at the Pentagon with Robert Reilly, a Defense Department adviser who helped smooth the way for the visit. Ayad saluted a picture of the president, saying in English, "Bush, very, very good."
Meanwhile, his father was boiling inside. During an interview with an Arab television network, he went into a tirade about being promised money and gifts.
"I demand to face George W. Bush, and I have some things to say straight to him," he said.
On Wednesday afternoon, the two were more somber. They were scheduled to leave New York on an 11 p.m. flight for the Middle East and the sight of their suitcases stuffed with new clothes, cameras and Herbal Essence shampoo depressed them.
"I thought the Americans could do everything," Ayad's father said.
Ayad stared at the carpet and whispered, "I hope we come back."

donnie darko

2005-07-27T09:58:00.000-05:00

I finally watched Donnie Darko last night.

I haven't read anything about it (I try not to saturate my mind with other people's opinions cause it's fun to enjoy original thoughts) and the only thing I had really heard about it was from a friend who posits that it explores the feelings of "love" and "fear" and how they relate to life--an idea that the film makes clear anyway.
Before I go into my take on it, I should explain my take on movies/films--and any creation of human imagination for that matter--in the general sense.
People create these--things--from their minds and philosophies . Whether it's a painting, a book, a film, musical composition--whatever--someone thought of it and then made it.
And as the viewer, reader, listener--whomever--we experience the creation.
So during that experience, there are two things happening: there's the idea with which the creator created, as well as the idea which we project onto the creation itself. In this way, "art" is a two-way encounter that is different for every person and every time.

That being said, my "interpretation" of Donnie Darko is similar to my interpretation of Lola Rennt, Memento and Mulholland Drive: it's about living the life you want to live.

Darko took me into the mind of the character and how he resisted the concept of time through time travel and how he rejected one life path and accepted/chose another. To me, Donnie saw--lived, actually--one reality but ended up choosing another--death--in the end.
The details are fun; trying to piece together the chronology (if any) and what "symbolizes" what (if at all). Some of those questions are:
-Did he actually wake up the night of the jet engine crash, go outside to his lawn, see Frank, thus avoiding the engine crash and initiating his Frank-induced life? The way he laughs as he lies in bed right before the jet engine comes crashing down on him at the end to me implies that, yes, he lived out the Frank life and then went back and chose death to avoid that path/destroy Frank/choose a new life/etc. By choosing the portal in order to take back all of the events which panned out over the course of the movie, Donnie creates the very plane crash which leads to his death-by-jet-engine in the end--the same jet-engine crash from the beginning of the movie.

-Was Donnie's mom standing by the tree at the end real? In one brief clip it shows her returning from the Sparkle Motion StarSearch trip, hugging the family--which means the plane crash never happened, at least not with her on it. But in the end, as Donnie chooses the wormhole/time portal, that very same time portal causes the plane she is riding on to crash--or disappear, sans one jet engine. At the end she is seen standing by the tree as the rest of the Darko family stands at a slight distance mourning the death of Donnie but to me it was more of a spirit than a person. She's an aloof character throughout the movie anyway, but it is weird that she is just kind of smirking and smoking a cigarette while the others cry nearby.

-If Donnie didn't "meet" Frank until the end when Frank ran over Gretchen and Donnie shot him, then how was Frank a main character in the movie prior to their encounter? Thus, was Frank real (i.e., just a bad driver in a halloween costume), a figment of Donnie's imagination, or both? I think it's both: Donnie saw into the future/the car crash and then used that character, who his mind named Frank, during the mental process leading up to the car crash. He met Frank in the movie theater and saw his wounded eye before he actually shot him in the eye.

These questions segue into the cyclical nature of the movie itself, which, in turn, inherently questions the concept of time by playing with cinematic chronology. There's no clear end or beginning, and to me that seems to be one of the points.
Another one, as I mentioned above, is the idea of choosing the life you want to lead. It would seem that, through it all, Donnie is controlled by different forces...Frank, coincidence, love and fear. However, my interpretation is that Donnie is really the one in control. Not control in a control-freak way. A control that culminates in his own choice of death, and at the same time, life.

This is my take on the movie right now. I think it's because I brought to it my own belief that life is what we make of it. It's not always easy and rarely is anyone able to pull it off without feeling hurt, second-guessing decisions or with any sort of degree of perfection.
But if we stay true to ourselves and the ones we love, we can transcend the concept of time and, in the "end," live the life we want.

oh no, not this again!

2005-07-25T14:39:00.000-05:00

I thought I was done with it all. The ass-kissing. The bullshit presentation of food and drink. The sheer...nonsense.
But I did it. I got a waitressing job.

After Bistro d'OC I swore off waiting tables. Indeed, it was the French wot did it. But I had had this hankerin' lately for the thrills and spills of waiting tables.
Or maybe it is just the money. As many of you know, cold hard cash is my pimp.

So I started this weekend at Bistro Bis. It's a really nice place on Capitol Hill where the cocktails cost $10+ and what not. It's cool, though because I only work Saturday/Sunday breakfast and brunch. (The not cool part is that it starts at 6:15 am). Usually breakfast is the sucky-suck-suck shift, but not here: I think the guy I shadowed made $250 this weekend. We'll see how it goes.
I already felt a gag reflex when a customer asked for extra chives on his omelette.

screen on the green

2005-07-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

I just love when people have good ideas that actually happen. I mean, I know "good" is a judgment so really what I'm saying is that I believe certain ideas are good, or better, than others. I don't really think ideas are bad in a sense that everything is a learning experience so how can an idea be 'bad' or 'wrong' I mean except if you stuck a fork in your eye and then hit it with a rubber mallet. That is probably a bad idea. Or maybe not...it would teach you a valuable lesson about forks and mallets.
OK so one of the better ideas I've seen in a while. OK well, there's two because I just thought of another one. The one I just thought of is PODS. Not iPods. PODS. Personal On Demand Storage.
Some people, like me, aren't made of money. I mean, I wish, sort of. That might not be the best thing, though--to be made of money. But since I'm not anyway who cares. So the PODS people bring this U-Haul-sized metal box to your doorstep and drop it off. Then you can pack it at your leisure, with no deadline. Then the PODS people will take it to where ever you're moving and you unpack it, etc.! HELLO! Absolutely brilliant. My dilemma has always been having a car but needing a small moving truck. Driving two vehicles at one time, though possible, is impossible.
Another good idea is Screen on the Green, which I attended last night. This isn't necessarily an original or innovative idea, per se, but it's a nice one. The good people at Citi and HBO set up a big screen down on the National Mall and show movies every Monday noche. Last night was the first, and quite poignant "The Way We Were" starring Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand. The fun thing was the fact that 3,000 other people were there, too, on their blankets with picnic dinners, springing up to dance to the flashy, 30-second HBO jingle, laughing at the old Bugs Bunny cartoon intro, giggling at the cheesy gaffes of our heroine and clapping when famous (or seemingly famous--how do we know?) lines were recited, or classic moments took place. Surprisingly, it wasn't a bunch of baby-boomer liberals--it seemed like all of my peers--the fashionable Georgetown crowd, the work-hard/play-hard CapHill crew, the undie U-Street group--had come on down to see this free flick, all with the lit-up Capitol Dome prominently in the backdrop.
It was a good idea and I'd like to thank my corporate sponsors.

fallure

2005-07-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

I was recently talking with my dear friend Molly Nichols, an amazing person and human being extraordinaire who currently works at the Eagle Rock School in the Rocky Mtn. National Park. She was telling me about a concept they use with the students, and I think it's one of the best analogies for life I've ever heard (besides those ubiquitous Aesop's Fables, of course).

When they take the kids rock climbing, they talk about the difference between failure and fallure. Say you've been climbing for a while and you're starting to feel it pretty bad. You're tired, sweaty, your arms are getting weaker with each pull and you know you're done. When you look up and see the next hold, you have one of two options:
You could either let go of the rock and fall back into your belay rope, which would be failure.
Or you could at least go for that next hold even though you know you probably won't make it...which would be fallure.

I liked hearing someone tell about a concept that, though undefined, has been part of my nature throughout my life. It was a reinforcement of what I've already been doing anyway, especially recently.
I don't really believe life is necessarily always about getting the result you want or expect, but how would you know unless you tried? In the end, that might be the better result than what you wanted anyway. Of course, I'd add that the second piece to this would be knowing yourself and being aware of yourself and how you affect others and the world.

It's not always a painless modus operandi, but I'd rather die a fallure than a failure.

America, weather and my family vacation

2005-07-12T08:56:00.001-05:00

Heading out to Atlanta last Saturday, I didn't know what to expect. My brother (James) and I were flying down to meet up with my dad, his brother (Uncle Tom) and his family, who we haven't seen in six years, and a lot has changed in that short amount of time:
-My dad and uncle have both retired from the Army
-My cousin Andrew has gone from pipsqueak to star football player
-My parents have gotten divorced
-My dad has lived in Romania for four years
After being so separated from one another, all of a sudden going on a week- long vacation could prove to be very interesting.

That rang true the first night when, shortly after our arrival, I was brought up to speed on the complete Earnhart racing saga, especially the recent happenings of Dale Earnhart, Jr. ("Little E," as it turns out, has had a trying season--that first night was the Daytona Pepsi 400, in which he was routed by Tony Stewart. However, the tide was turned the past weekend at the Nextel Cup Series in Chicago. He drove it in to take the victory). I now know more about NASCAR than I ever thought I would want to.

After nursing a Coors Light ("the best beer," according Uncle T) hangover it was time to pack up the RV, two SUVs, a Ford F-150 (with FlowMaster exhaust) and a boat to head out to sunny and then-peaceful Destin, Florida. I decided to ride with the relatives in the aptly-named "Hurricane," a beautiful 40-foot house on wheels, complete with two TV's, a bathroom, kitchen, living room...yeah! I think I recall Uncle Tom saying it cost $125 to fill it up. I tried to abet my guilt by reminding myself that I recycle everything (including stories/jokes) and pride myself on the pedestrian lifestyle I lead. That being said, I'd rather ride shotgun in the Hurricane over the bomb-able BART any day!

Speaking of transportation, I have to admit that I had a slight fear that we were overdoing it. I mean, we (all six of us) were only going to be there for a week and we needed three gas-guzzling monster cars??
But once we pulled into Destin and I had myself a look around, I realized we fit right in with the rest of vacationing America.

Starving after a day on the road, we contemplated our first meal and decided on Hooters. Well, actually, this was my uncle's idea. Most decisions during the week were made by my uncle. All I have to say is the service was horrible?
After that we headed to Wal-Mart. You know, to stock up for the week. I couldn't believe how crowded Wal-Mart was at 11 pm on a Sunday! Perhaps its shiny lights and plastic junk are a welcome alternative to staring at your family while you're all on vacation.

On July Fourth, filled with the triumphant spirit of the USA, we took the boat out onto the sapphire-blue waters of the bay. There's something about motorboats that's quintessentially American. Maybe it's defying wind and water, maybe it's the obnoxious-turned-soothing whir of the motor, or maybe it's just the air in your salty hair. Whatever it is, it didn't matter because our boat shut down an hour into the trip. My dad was pissed because he drove it 1,000 miles and it broke on the first day out. Stuff like that happens to him all the time and sometimes I wonder if he's sort of a tragic character. Once we were back at the RV park, though, we mollified our maritime misery with some fresh-grilled amberjack, Silverbullet Smooth and, of course, Old Glory waving. Everything was fine again.

The rest of the week was a mixture of beach and American things like driving up and down the strip and eating bad foods that taste good. Thursday I headed to Big Kahuna's--a water slide park--with my cousin and his girlfriend. I had actually pledged not to attend a water park ever again in my life after my last experience a few years back, but Big Kahuna's was more about the slides than stagnant pools with baby poops. That and I had become bored with the beautiful waters of the Gulf Coast. I needed waterslides, goddammit! It was a fun day, people-who-shouldn't-be-wearing-bikinis and all.

Friday we were evacuated from the area because Hurricane Dennis was coming to destroy our lovely vacation destination and rape our women-folk. As we headed up through Alabama, watching the poor farms and trailer parks whiz by from our comfy motorhome chairs, I thought of the face-stuffing, fossil fuel-wasting time I had just had and shed a tear of mixed emotions: guilt, pleasure and a strong desire to buy golf clubs.
----------
Even though the sun-bathing part of our vacation had been cut short by that sass-pot Mother Nature, we still had some time on our hands as our flight out of Atlanta wasn't for a few days. Those last few days in the Columbus, GA (right outside of Ft. Benning) suburbs were some of the best. Because of Dennis' stormy tentacles, we were trapped inside most of the time and forced to watch hours of The Weather Channel/NASCAR, and occasionally talk politics. You can probably guess which part I favored. I soon learned that my uncle, for all of his Army Ranger psychosis/love of guzzling gas/obsession with football, NASCAR, and suburbanly-expensive toys, is one of my favorite people.

And that's what this vacation was about to me. A rediscovery of family and, in the greater sense, country--parts of which I had been out of touch with for a very long time.

I leave you with some of Uncle Tom's sensibilities on the pressing issues of today's world:
(spoken with heavy southern accent):
-Gay marriage: "I don't care who loves who. If two people think they're meant to be, what the f*ck do I care? I say, 'good for you.' "
-The war in Iraq: "This is the stupidest piece of sh*t war I've ever seen. We need to get the hell out of there. Now."
-Gays in the military: "If they want to serve, they should be able to serve. Hell, only two congressmen at this point have ever done military time and it doesn't look like they're signing up their children for this crap anytime soon."
-Hunting: "I like fishing. Fishing takes skill. Coming into the wild with a 12-gauge doesn't."
-Boats: "Sailing? Hell no. I got my Bass Tracker."

And, finally...

-Sharks: "The way I see it, we're guests in their home. How would you like it if a shark came into your living room?"

vaycay, sweetie

2005-07-01T18:32:00.000-05:00

in florida until july 12. hopefully i won't get eaten by a shark.

if you are bored because i'm not posting, here are my suggestions:
-crawl past your roommate's bedroom mewing like a kitty. act like you're not doing anything weird
-give your bathroom a really good scrub down while listening to the rhythm of the saints. celebrate with a bloody mary
-remind yourself how much you hate blood cancers, love running marathons, and then donate to my team in training endeavor

the city by the bay

2005-06-29T09:08:00.000-05:00

There's really no city like San Francisco, California.

I know, I know. You could say something like this about every city, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a city that doesn't have its quirks and specialties. To other cities' credit, they have their cool parts. But I've been to a lot of cities in my short time here on Earth and, so far, San Francisco is my favorite.

why I like San Francisco, California:

-Physical geography:
You've got the pristine and mysterious Pacific Ocean lapping to the left, making its way inland through the San Francisco Bay. As the water sprawls its way in, it surrounds the little islands (Alcatraz, Treasure, Yerba Buena) and fills any space bounded by Napa to the north, Berkeley and Oakland to the east, and Silicon Valley to the south. Its omnipotent aquidity gives you a floating feeling that whispers "life is what you want it to be." (Or maybe that's the voice in my head?)
You also have ginormous hills (in the east we call them 'mountains') of lush, moist rainforest green rising up past fog's reach and dipping right back down to the water's edge, rendering the landscape just as fluid as the seascape, and life equally as such.
Throw in sunshiney spreads, crisp glacial lakes, ripe vinifal valleys, rock-and-shrub mountains and arid mission towns--all within a short drive per cardinal direction--and your life is at your fingertips. Right now.

-Urban geography:
Every city has its "sections," usually based on ethnicity, but San Francisco throws ideals and lifestyles into the residential mix. In the Mission you'll find every Latin and Central American country represented via restaurants, cantinas, clubs and sidewalk markets and shops. And I truly mean "represented" to include the indigenous and beautifully-haphazard way these places are set up. (At Sonia's, for example, you'll find Sonia slowly cooking at a small kitchen with a play pen set up for her granddaughter and a box of tortillas on the floor next to the cash counter.) Set against a backdrop of Latin pop, bustling merchants, and smells food. You'll also find the gringos (non-Latin; artists, entrepreneurs, normal people) who've assimilated into this lifestyle living above all La Hubbub in tiny studios or 1BRs.
Other nabes:
Chinatown, Japantown, North Beach (vaudevillian/carnivalian/adult-night clubs/literary), The Castro (gay), and more. I'm not an expert in the least sense of the word, but this is what I've consumed as a short-time resident, and I love it. There's a place for everyone, even if you're normal.
But there's a constant throughout the urbus major--a sense of commonality--whether it's physical (in the ubiquitous pastel Victorians and square, Spanish-Scandinavian blockhouses), political (in the commitment to common-sense socioeconomic policies), mental (in that everyone has to deal with the bums), or simply visual (it's hard to find a place where you can't see the red spires of the Golden Gate Bridge).

-Human geography:
The people make San Francisco San Francisco.
Put simply:
In one block I saw a group of Latinos making cat calls; a fat, barefoot black lady wearing daisy dukes and screaming across the busy street at a wasted bum peeing himself; some 'bohemes' grabbing falafel sandwiches on the go; a lesbian couple holding hands; an Asian street merchant selling some shit; me in the reflection of the window of 826 Valencia; and a huge man in a pink fairy costume riding a bike.

My trip was fast and furious (Friday-Monday)--the details of which are not the focus of this particular post--but it was a much-needed break from the rigid, uptightity of DC. As a short contrast, we have one area, AdamsMorgan/Dupont, that is supposed to be cultural and thornily bohemian but it lasts all of a few blocks and can be considered pretty much unaffordable (at least on a receptionist's, er, office manager's budget. I share a 1BR). It's been whitewashed, gentrified and slowly homogenized.
I guess that's invetible, though.

Except in San Francisco, California.

when I grow up

2005-06-20T15:37:00.000-05:00

24. food critic
23. actress
22. mountain climber
21. curator, Metropolitan Museum of Art
20. skyscraper window washer
19. professional surfer
18. astronaut
17. paper archivist, National Archives
16. tie: brewmaster or European
15. travel writer
14. oceanic biologist
13. UN Secretary General
12. sommelier
11. Olympic triathlete
10. classical guitarist
9. princess
8. tie: zoologist-serengeti large mammal division or DJ
7. chef
6. etymologist-lexicographer
5. beekeeper
4. Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court
3. orchestra conductor
2. teacher or journalist/correspondent (same to me)
1. linguist spy

do you think this is important?

2005-06-20T10:17:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, a subcommittee of the U.S. House of Representatives voted to cut federal funding for public broadcasting by 45%. The proposed cuts eliminate funding for the Ready to Learn program, which supports educational, commercial-free children’s programming on public television. In addition, it acted to eliminate within two years all federal money for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting starting with a 25% reduction in CPB's budget for next year, from $400 million to $300 million. This week, the House is expected to vote on the budget which includes these cuts.

This raises a lot of questions, the most important of which is simply whether having publically-funded, non-commercial media is worth paying for.
What do you think?
Whichever 'side' you're on, I urge you to make a quick call to your congressperson's office and let him or her know what you think.

Dear Rep. Platts (PA-19):
I am writing to express my concern over the recent House Appropriation Committee decision to cut funding for public broadcasting.
On the national level, I am sure that you have already heard the arguments for and/or against this decision. But I write to you as a long-time citizen of Central PA.
As you are well aware, the Central PA region is a beautiful mixture of rural, town and small-city life, rife with rich American history and a burgeoning future of small-business as well as national commerce. From town to town and village to village, we are all connected by our regional similarities; though it might be a 15 minute drive, each one of us has a stake in the "next town over."
As you are also aware, the National Public Radio affiliate, WITF-FM (and PBS WITF-TV), works very hard to keep the community connected by covering Central PA news and goings-on. From its educational "Explore PA History" program to the only non-commercial classical music in the area, to its daily news coverage, I believe that WITF is an indispensable independent source of news and information for the area I've lived in and which you represent.
I believe, Mr. Platts, that one of the best things you could do for me as my congressman, is to say 'no' to this decision when it gets to the House floor.
In doing so, you will actually be saying 'yes' to an investment in the Central PA community. You would be saying
"Yes, in the face of big media mergers, low-quality news coverage from the networks, and A.D.D.-inducing commercial programming, the CentPA community deserves a balance. They deserve an alternative. They deserve a station which covers what's happening in my electoral district with deliberation and a commitment to my constituents' well-being, and the general public good. Sure, it costs money, but that cost is a pittance when compared to other projects and appropriations I consider here in Washington. And the return--the opportunity for my fellow CentPA citizens to have a sound source of news, information, and other educational programming--is priceless."
Please say yes to me and my fellow CPA'ers by saying NO to cutting funding for public broadcasting.
Thanks,
Emilie Cole
p.s. I think ponies are cute and my T-ball team just won our league champonchips.

i'll just admit it right now: i don't have any major things figured out yet

2005-06-18T23:53:00.000-05:00

[Back in Carlisle for the weekend...having a good time chillin' with friends and dad (a lot of people are back in town). Today we drove around in the country, went canoeing did a small hike, bbq, beer/deck, etc. It's such a pastoral place--lush and untouched.]

Today I was giving a lot of thought to my peers and friends who seem to think they know what they're doing with themselves/their lives.
I just don't understand how you have all of the major questions answered already. Perhaps I'm far behind, or maybe it's that they are getting ahead of themselves?
People are getting married (and divorced), some know their calling and others have done complete 180's in just the past six months alone. Either going from being attached at the hip to a complete player, or the opposite: declaration of no desire to settle down/fear of commitment/mover&shaker type to all of a sudden settling down/committing/docility (not in a negative way).
It's not bad, just interesting to observe.
I know that, at a certain point, the "writing's on the wall." It's hard to ignore reality/fate slapping you directly in the face.
But sometimes I wonder how much of that we make up, or which "signs" we construct just to feel some sort of stability for once. Or which conclusions are hasty. Or maybe we're sick of the old ways, so "this will do" "because it's not bad" and "mostly good."
Or how much we are turning into our parents and the older generations we sometimes chided for thinking that everything that happens is somehow "proof" of what we believe; everything we come across is somehow evidence that we've made the right decision or that our opinions are the right ones. (Like Belly said, "Feed the tree").
I would just hate for us to be wearing the blinders already at such young ages.

2005-06-17T10:38:00.000-05:00

i saw modest mouse last night and it was very disappointing.

misc. wednesday

2005-06-15T08:20:00.000-05:00

-Fake Sport.
A few Saturdays ago I went over to Brad's to hang out and we were flipping through the channels and came across the NCAA women's softball tournament.
For some reason I felt like watching for a bit; I think it has to do with my new fascination with baseball.

OK, so, how do I say this without being offensive??
Hmmm.
Well, OK:
I think softball is a huge insult to women.
I mean, who was like "OK, girls. You can play baseball, but there's a catch....
You have to play with this." (Hands over humongous ball)
I mean, have you seen our hands?? Way to set us up for success there fellas.
(Even more insulting is that it's BRIGHT YELLOW...as if we might have trouble seeing the goddamn thing in the first place).
Additionally, I couldn't help bursting out laughing everytime, well, I looked at the screen.
From the ridiculous manner in which pitches are thrown (all of this violent pumping of the arms like some vaudevillian madman and superfluous swaying back and forth...just to throw it
u n d e r h a n d), to nothing really happening (I think I saw one hit by Cal off the UA 'pitcher'), to a bunch of valley girls with big ol' helmets blocking their vision, I couldn't help thinking
"What is this silly sport and how did we get lured into playing baseball dress-up?"
I understand that softball is a fun and leisurely recreational activity; it can help foster amicable relations between co-workers and provides many companies with a way to boost employee morale. Also, it's a great end-of-picnic transition to the inevitable all-out drink fest which follows.
But I really think women/girls should be playing real baseball like the rest of their male counterparts.

-Real Sport.
Now that I think about it, I think that Ultimate Frisbee should be an Olympic sport.

-Perceptions.
Last Friday at happy hour I had the pleasant surprise of running into an old friend from Syracuse/ROTC. We talked pretty much the whole evening about where everyone, including ourselves, were in life, etc. (For the record, I consider myself post post-college; I've just made it out of the abyss and I'm desperately trying to lift myself out onto the ledge. I guess we'll see if I have the upper-body strength).
Of course after a few drinks the conversation opened up and, during one point, he said "Wow, Em. Didn't know you were such a romantic!"

Usually a statement like that is more of a rhetorical device people use (like "Wow, ____. Didn't know you were such an asshole/Jessica Simpson fan/race car driver!)
However, I sensed that he really was telling me that he didn't know this fact about me, so I followed up.
"Really?" I asked
"Yeah!" He said. "I just had no idea..."
This led me to confess my own perception of him during college and sparked a great conversation about how we thought each other was and then how we 'really' are.
What I mostly took away from it was that perceptions are nifty creations.
Also, that I think some guys don't consider me romantic because I can be sarcastic and silly and that intimidates them.

Oh, and that I should really slow down on the half-priced drinks.

-Reality.
I have a hard time accepting certain things because I just don't see why they have to be that way.

-Forced Pride.
DC Capital Pride Fest ended this past weekend.
I really don't know what to think about "pride" anymore. In college I was all about it. Back then I considered myself a 'straight ally' (in fact, my real pride in college was an overall iconoclastic lifestyle) fighting for marriage rights, adoption, equality, etc. Also, I may have had ambiguous feelings for other females at one point or another and participating in the SU Pride Union certainly let me feel like that was OK.
The college 'pride' scene is so different when compared to the one after college. I think people get to college and obviously feel much freer; they are just so grateful to be able to get together with people they never had the chance to before (this obviously goes for all college groups/clubs). The cause is sincere and, for the most part, unified.

Now, however, I really don't feel there's a such thing as a 'gay community' out here in the Real World (this could very well just be DC). The gay guys have their own agenda/sub-groups/lifestyles; so do the lesbians; and the two are quite different.
Not that that's a huge surprise or anything, but for example, I recently went to a gay bookstore (I like all bookstores, OK?) and I was browsing the gay-guy books and they were all filled with either pictures, illustrations, erotica etc. I then looked through the female material and all of it was words, theories, dissertations-blah blah blah. Any erotica was in short-story form and involved (what I consider) nasty images of leather, and, well, let's just say "blech." Overall, just so typical. Not that I was really looking for anything in particular (that whole thing is definitely not my bag). But it was interesting to observe the blatant differences.

So Capital Pride struck me as almost a farce. The parade was none-too-exciting. The only 'exciting' part was when the old-school leather men drove by...half naked in their S&M garb (including those funny little policeman hats and combat boots), dancing to mid-'90s house music, etc--then again, they're always an amusing sight. However, they didn't make me want to clap/cheer out of 'pride.' Neither did 'dykes on bikes.' (Yeah. Not so much.)
The street festival was equally as silly; booths set up by a smorgasbord of non-profits who seem to want my money just so they can set up a booth next year; the same old food vendors who show up to any street festival selling teriyaki chicken and gyros; a stage with some temporarily-amusing dancing gay cowboys and then boring lesbians performing "All That Jazz."
(I eventually left the street fest for the National Gallery of Art's Toulouse-Lautrec & Montmartre exhibit--great stuff!!)
I feel like this bullet point just got really cynical about gay pride. Maybe it did; whatevs. The 'movement' just seems kinda lame to me.

-Natural Pride.
Yesterday was my first day of training at the Capitol City Brewing Co., "DC's first brewery since Prohibition." It was a good time--we got to sample all of the food and beers (!).
There was a (jappy) girl in my group who, after sipping the hoppy and dry Amber Waves Ale, spit it out and proclaimed "Pyuck! Why is that so bitter??"
I also had to help her fill out her W-4 because she didn't know what an 'exemption' was.
Now even though I'm a glorified receptionist picking up a second job, for a moment I felt good about myself for being able to appreciate a good brew and knowing how to fill out my tax forms.

a first

2005-06-10T08:14:00.000-05:00

I have never said something like this before, but
Crash is the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life

Q: que hora en mi corazón?

2005-06-09T11:58:00.000-05:00

-Manu Chao

A: "It's five o'clock somewhere"
-Alan Jackson

As many of you know, I'm in a relationship that just so happened to pass the two-year mark. On one hand, whoop-dee-fucking-do (as my mom would so aptly state. I think she's a nihilist). But on another, I've been thinking more and more about what it is that I need (or atleast 'think' I need) in a relationship and, thus, from another person.
In the haze that is figuring out onesself (especially when you're a gemini, which I am, because you'll come to a conclusion one day and a different one the next), I think I have a somewhat clear idea of what kinds of things will win my heart for eternity, if that's at all possible:

-The Ability To Pick Up After Onesself:
For the record, this does not mean "be a neat freak or possess other OCD-like qualities." However, I think it boils down to something to do with self respect. Again, my geminitic impulses want to hit backspace through that whole previous sentence because I quickly question whether I have the right to define properties of self respect (self respect for someone else could mean rejecting this fuddy-duddy notion).
But, for me, I have pretty much concluded that Picking Up After Onesself entails an awareness of one's surroundings, one's impact on them, and one's impact on others in said surroundings. It's also something I was brought up to do. Simply put, things have places and we should put them there.

-The Ability To Listen To Me, And, Furthermore, Understand My Point Of View:
For some reason, I've been blessed (cursed?) with the ability to comprehend what anyone says, ever. Except when what the person is saying is based on the ridiculous notion that I don't understand what they are saying. Get it?
Perhaps it's because I'm the oldest child and therefore I had to communicate with both my parents and my younger brother. Or maybe my parents raised me a bit too adult-ish, choosing to reason with me rather than order me around. Or perhaps it's that gemini thing again; I just have so many personalities that I have to understand ones not pertaining to myself. Crazy!
I dunno. But it's the way I am and I really like it when others can be the same way. Thankfully, I think all of my friends happen to be this way.

-The Ability To Be Up For Anything, Anytime, Anywhere:
I am a self-proclaimed triple-A kind of gal.
Wanna get a bite to eat at The Diner? OK!
How about going running? Sounds like fun!
Naked? Even better!
How does playing hide and seek at midnight sound? Like fun!
or
Wanna just sit here doing nothing? Cool!

-The Ability To Hang Out With My Friends When I'm Not There
self-explanatory

-The Ability (And Desire) To Complete A Power-Hour:
In fact, what would seal it is if one endured the labor pains that entail making a Power Hour mix tape. That would show me that
A) one enjoys a heavy swizzle session now and then
B) one is creative and, for certain events, can be detail-oriented
C) one at least knows 60 fun drinking songs ("fun" is a very open-ended term)

So, there one has it. It's not much and there are probably others. Additionally, some might leave my list of amorous assets if I think too hard about it all.

oh...

-The Ability To Think Too Hard And Also To Not Think Too Hard About Things

sometimes I just can't say it better myself

2005-06-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

(only sometimes, though)
brilliant, spooner

mondays

2005-06-06T14:27:00.000-05:00

I consider Mondays really important for my health (The other days, well, those are a different story...).
Sometimes, if I'm going to yoga in the evening, I only eat raw foods and only drink water. If I'm not going to yoga (like today), then I simply don't intake anything except water for 24 hours.
I like to do this in order to start my week off right, to give myself a rest from digesting (or whatever you call the weekend's fare) and just to bring my body to a more balanced state. Additionally, I think it's important to go without food for a least a day per month to better understand those who have to on a regular basis. It's not some weird martyr mentality--I know my mini-fast isn't helping anyone else per se--but it's helping me understand 'what it's like,' even if for a mere day, the experience of which will come into play when I make decisions that hopefully and eventually help someone else.
Also, it's a great feeling of accomplishment the next day and it makes me appreciate tastes, flavors and textures so much more, even after such a small time off. I like how I feel and knowing that I just did my body a favor; I gave it a break.

The sucky part is staring at this mother fucking candy dish all day long.

everything

2005-06-06T13:48:00.000-05:00

This weekend I was asked what kind of music I liked. This isn't an odd question at all, but for some reason my answer seems odd to almost all of my inquisitors: everything.

Do I really have to "prove" that this reply is legitimate by rattling off some indie bands or talk about the production circle between Dan 'the Automater' Nakamura, Prince Paul and everyone in between?
Or note how ironically tortured Beethoven was when he composed his joyful Symphony No. 9?
Or explain the juxtaposition of traditional slave song and Celtic folk that is bluegrass music?
I don't feel like I should have to, but too many times have I either encountered a surprised face or a skeptical one.
Does this make me spineless? Unable to form my own opinions about music? Does it even matter if you think I'm an big fat liar for liking everything?

No,
no
and no,
respectively.

misc. wednesday

2005-06-01T15:13:00.000-05:00

-As highly unlikely it is that I ever become a famous government leak, if so, I'd really appreciate a cool nickname. "Deep Throat" is not such a nickname.

-Alison Krauss could very well be the first bluegrass artist on crack.

-Apparently The Iliad isn't the most exciting book ever written. Either that, or I'm just not that committed.

-I really don't think there's anything wrong with having a mimosa during breakfast.
Even on weekdays.
At 7 am.
I mean, right?

-In 23 days, Li'l Kim will face sentencing regarding a guilty charge in a 2001 shootout.
I'm not sure what I'll do if she's put in the slammer. I mean, have you heard "Not Tonight"?? Not only an outrage, this might be one of the biggest tragedies of the 21st Century.

-What the hell ever happened to Sarah McLachlan?

-I actually don't care what the answer is.

-In practical terms, nothing really matters. When speaking impractically, everything does.

-Let it be knownst throughout the land that, yes, you can look up other people's phone numbers while you are on your cell phone. Got that dad?

-Speaking of my dad, welcome back after 3 years in Bucharest!

-Also, congratulations to my cousin Katie who yesterday became engaged!

-A whole round of younger high school friends recently graduated college. To them, I say:
"Just follow your dreams. Even if they lead you to a shitty shitty place, in reality it can't be shitty because your dreams led you there."

-I'm not one of those people who was obsessed with Bob Edwards. But I have to admit that after a year of Steve Inskeep & Renee Montagne, I wish NPR had used better decision-making skills.
Please don't tell NPR I said that.

-Two numbers total 96 when added together. One is three times as large as the other. What are the numbers?

-Let's just say that the "readership poll" didn't really turn out the way I thought.
Oh, 'the way I thought' was that more than 7 people read my blog.
So, thanks liz, spoon, molly, allie, eric, kelly and ren. You guys are the best. Sniff sniff.

-I'm over that now.

-I used to have a weird thing for knowing about all the different Gore-Tex parkas on the market. I don't have that thing anymore.

the principle of it all

2005-05-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

We have a plant lady here at Triumph D.
I have asked her, everytime she's in on her weekly watering/pruning, if she could please get me an aloe plant for my office space, and everytime she says yes.

This has been going on for,
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
5 months.

The aloe plant is not that important.
I mean, yes, it's an important plant,
but no it's not important for me to have one right this second goddammit.
But, I mean, come on, Jan. Your only job is to go to offices, water their plants, and successfully fulfill new-plant orders.

And I understand if it's not aloe season.
It could very well be the exact opposite time of year in which aloe and aloe plants are harvested. Also could just simply not available to the community as a whole at this current time.

I also understand if you keep forgetting the aloe plant.
I'm sure you see a lot of people whose flora needs are above those of mine.

I also understand if you hate me because I slept with your husband and then stuffed your kitty in the laundry chute.

But still.
It's your job.

readership poll

2005-05-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

hey there, blog-readin' buds!

as the 6-month anniversary of em approaches, I've been wondering a few things:
-does anyone care what I'm talking about
-if so, how many people

Thus I have a small favor to ask you, special friend. It's like REALLY small considering all the 'hard work' I put in to possibly entertaining/amusing you (or boring, or angering...).

So, if you read this, please leave a comment with:
-your initials
-when you think going commando is appropriate, if at all.

I will take a blogging break as the results trickle in (probably very slowly).

Cheers,
-egc
-personally, I'm without undies most of the time. except never (OK, rarely) with skirts and never-ever if I'm riding my robotic stegosaurus-camel, Buckwheat II.
And never-ever-ever during that 'time.'

ps-I'm not worried about the results of this poll b/c it's not like I'm racking in the comments anyway

triple play

2005-05-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

In my series of baseball firsts, this weekend marked my first series and, consequentially, a further realization of just how applicable and exemplary baseball truly is to my (and any American's) life.

How can I feel a connection to a team I never knew? To a sport that, on the surface, seems so different from my actual existence? And, perhaps more important, what made me think that Bud Lite is worth $6 a bottle?

I'll probably expand on these questions more throughout the season, but for now the answer, I'm finding, is simple:
it's fun.

And unlike any other fun I've ever had.